Reasons I look to Food....

There are so many reasons we experience regain. It all begins when we go over that 5 lbs of cushion  that we've allowed ourselves. Where are we when we've gained 6+ pounds. I know where we are not and it's probably not near the scale or if we are we are probably telling ourselves it's no big deal for we will deal with it tomorrow...until tomorrow becomes..20, 30 ...50 lbs later. At this point we are holding our heads in our hand asking ourselves what the hell happened...    But...we do KNOW what happened. It's a choice we made to hide from the truth so we could frolick in the carnival of ignorance while we indulged here and there.. It was probably extra work just to keep oblivious to the fact we are gaining the weight we swore we never would as we were slurping our jello recovering from our surgeons expertise.

Oh how our emotions rule... I'm pretty sure someone once said "respond to truth...not what we perceive as truth". Now that's REALLY powerful when you evaluate our experience with weight gain.

I've often perceived myself as leading a lonely life believing that 'no one' would really desire to know me intimately and that scared me. The pure loneliness of it.  That my life would exist only to work and that those things that make me feel alive and that I'm passionate about would be overlooked by those closest. 

To believe that 'we' are significant is a necessity is a must for success.

What are the reasons you've chose food over the truth ?

I think my basic need started with comfort. The need to fill a void. Later I think this matured into numbing. In a strange way it's about power and demonstrating that I am in control by eating until I was 150% full. Maybe eating was just the easiest way tor me to do that. Lol not sure I am much closer to knowing how to answer.

You know what I realized about my food addiction ? I realized that I of course do better with all my meal planning and cooking ahead etc but when I have slipped off my plan it was something that was totally spontaneous and unexpected...totally out of the blue and it was usually at work then that would quickly lead to me stopping on the way home to pick up more carb filled supplies...'cause if you're going off your plan than I am REALLY going off the plan !!! ...I guess we could add that to the list of definitions of insanity. 

thanks Crispy for your input 

Isn't it funny how a little off can become a big one? For me that would usually mean being side tracked for weeks or months. Now I start each day new and tell myself that. Leave the guilt in the past and focus on the new day. Most days 8 out of 10 I am doing exactly what I planned. Doing this over the last 5 months has lead me to being able to see that it's not the end of the world if I screw up. In fact now I kind of see it as a challenge. It's gotten easier to get back on plan. I calling it practicing and we all know practice makes perfect

I like food. I like the taste and I like eating. I also like wine. Way too much. Hugs.

I just love food.  I love to cook and bake.  I miss my baking the most.  My husband fixed some cornbread last night and my son came running downstairs.  He thought I was baking cookies and was highly disappointed.  I offered to make him some but he said that was okay.  I felt guilty though as I use to bake all the time, hence my weight issue.

I hear ya Tess...now the only things I bake are egg bites, mini meat loaves and squash...lol I'm really feeling tempted to make some protein pumpkin muffins..... but the whole bread type thing usually leads me down a path you know where. 

I also find that since it's in the carb family I will mentally associate it with comfort food.... and I have a cold and am feeling the need to be comforted, but at least I made myself some stew loaded with protein 16 g per serving on the weekend.

I'm currently weighing myself on Saturdays and am now down to 216 from 220 the week before ...whew

Have a great day everyone

I am struggling to get back on track.  Ok - I vowed yesterday that today was the day.  Then this morning I did great till I got to work and POW I ate candy!  Ok - I stopped - I guess I can look on the bright side - I didn't finish the bag and I am jumping right back into my plan for the day!

 

I asked myself the same question this morning - How the HELL did I gain back 130 pounds?  I initally wanted to say I don't know but truth is I do know.  I lied to myself.  I was there "frolicking in the carnival of ignorance"  I can't eat certain things and be a sane person I totally ignored that fact that I have known for a long time - even before my surgery. (Nov. 2006).  Sometimes ignorance isn't bliss!

When I decided that I want to make a real effort to get BOT, I took inventory of what I did when I was successful.  Why reinvent the wheel.  I need to do what I know works.

So what did I do?

Journaled my food

Drank a lot of water

Exercised

Participated in on line support groups

I never drank when I ate

 

I didn't tell myself I deserved to eat something because everyone else was.  I didn't let one small thing turn into a big one.  I did what I needed to do regardless of anyone else.  

Ok, I have to say that for me, there were several reasons I gained weight to begin with and started to slip back into those bad habits.  I have been dealing with some anxiety, and because of that I eat.  I think I felt invisible when I was heavier and un noticed and to be honest I kind of liked that! I hated being heavy, but I hate being looked at and feeling noticed.  I have a hard time with all of that, and I thought eating helped.  I know that is wrong, but it was comforting for a minute. I would rather deal with the anxiety in another way now and feel good in my own skin rather than run to food.  I just have to keep remembering that!

 

I wish I knew why I look to food.  I seem unable to replace the food with some other effective way to comfort.
I ask myself that on a daily basis.

I do know the ways I allowed (allow) myself to ignore the truth of gaining weight.

The smallest jeans I’ve worn in 20 years are feeling a bit tight.  In the evening and on weekends I put on elastic waist pants to be more comfortable.  Clearly I knew what was happening but allowed it to continue to the point I had to buy a size larger.  Twice. WTH!!!

I don’t like to exercise so I just quit walking every day.  And guess what,
I got the exact result I knew I would.  Again, WTH!!!

Not focusing on protein.  Got tired of eating chicken, tuna, etc and not having room for anything else.

Not eating 3 meals and two planned snacks led to grazing.  Grazing is death to any weight control plan.

Swtmelissa commented above about feeling noticed.  Interesting thought.  Even though I hate being fat I don’t like being noticed either.  You might be onto something there.