Roo's Tip for Today (actually a 2 for 1 deal) -- 4/11/13

Sooo, here we are--one day past my 5 year surgiversary.

The first tip written was is it hunger. Today, I'm not sure.

Let's say I'm not sure if I really hungry, then what. The first thing I do is rule out thirst, so grab a glass--water, decaf tea; then a magazine or go for a short walk--anything non-food related that is calming or distracting for at least 10 minutes, and enjoy the beverage. If still feeling like eating, then by all means--do so.

But today I also want to add a second tip. What do you do when you are not physically hungry but want to eat. hmmmm, this is where it becomes a navigation into self discovery. For me, it works best if I figure out the why do I want to eat. I'm not the best of knowing that right off the bat. I am an emotional / stress eater--and I shove down my emotions with food instead of dealing. I did an online search under "list of emotions"--and printed off a pretty long list of descriptive words for various emotions. Prior to this I had a very short list: happy, sad, mad, depressed.--but my printed list has pages. So, instead of eating, grab the beverage, head to my "no food relaxing place"--sofa in my pink room (aka the reading room) with my list, a notepad and pen in hand. I read through my list and write down any words that "jump" out at me. Now I have words to those feelings I wanted to avoid and shove down and distract from with food. Now I have something to work with, here are some questions I run through for processing: Why or what causes this feeling? Is it changeable; and if so, how? Do I need to involve someone else in my fix; and if so, what do I need from them specifically? What is the best way to communicate this--face-to-face; written; phone? Write out how the points of the conversation using this format: "When blah blah blah, Then I feel (this emotions that jumped off the page--only the feelings, not what I choose to do with the feelings) I've thought about how this could be better--so what I need from you is (and be very specific). Thank you for your support and understanding. If the fix is solely on me, and no support needed from outside sources--then jot down a game plan with changes. What do I need from me for this: do I need to cry, do I need to express anger meaning my poor pillow needs to be smacked around. Do I need to change my schedule, do I need to change my self-talk. If there is nothing that can be done to improve the situations that cause the "bad feelings"--then I need to give myself permission to feel--all emotions are God-given gifts, even if they feel bad. They are there for a barometer to gauge our internal selves; and feeling them will not harm us. But as I have found; refusing to feel by shoving them down with food will harm me in a greater way. It is not the feeling bad--it is what we choose to do as a reaction to that stimulus that needs to work for us.

Very, very insightful. I like the idea of an "emotion list" and then using that tool as a start for my own journaling entries. hmmmm.......I tend to use my journal as a distraction to the eating and not a tool into the deeper reasons why I'm eating.

You given me quite a lot to think about today. Hope you don't mind me sharing this post with some friends of mine this weekend at our girls night out.

- Iris

Congratulations on your 5 year anniversary!  Truly this is a milestone.  Great insight on emotional eating too!

This is good stuff and very thorough. The list is a good, practical idea for those of us that are not practiced in the vocabulary of emotions. And what to do with them, I have never known.

Your approach sounds brave and difficult and scary. I haven't ever seen such a clear path mapped out as what you've outlined here.  Thank you!

Wishing you a belated Happy Fifth Anniversary

Great post - thank you!!  I, too, struggle with putting my finger on the emotion that's making me want to eat.  My brain's telling me I don't know, don't care, just want to EAT!  I found a list once, I think it was in Dr. Gould's Shrink Yourself, that looked not just at emotions, but also situations and other triggers.  VERY helpful.  His blog is great too, he's doing a series at the moment, last week's was emotional triggers (I found several that sounded VERY much like me).  Next week's is supposed to be about how to respond to them more productively - I'm waiting with baited breath!!

I struggle with how best to deal with this at work.  I'm more prone to emotional eating at work, and it's very difficult to figure out a work equivalent to "head to my no food relaxing place", but it probably shouldn't be.  It's not like I have a job where i can't take a 5 or 10 minute break, for a short walk, or even sit in the bathroom with a notepad if I had to.  I just have to be willing to make the effort, right?  Thanks - I really appreciate this practical how-to approach!