Dirty Lil Secrets!/Replacement Addictions

So, I am a little over 5 years post op RNY.  I never made it to goal but I did lose 102 lbs.  Well, as many of us do...those evil pounds start to come back and now I struggle every day with self hate and attempting to stay to an eating plan....and failing miserably MOST of the time.  Well, I know we are high risk of replacing our food addictions with others.  I didnt really replace mine....BUT I have a different form!  Here it is:  Early on in my losing process I was in a stressful failing marriage and I would go "shopping" to get away from the stress.  I didnt really shop a lot but I would go and just meander around the store.  While Im walking around, (back then) I would grab a bag of beef jerky and a drink.  Not so bad, right?  High protein....no big deal.  Problem is that it is an automatic reaction for me now to grab a snack and something to drink EVERY TIME I go to the store.  Of course, my snacks now are not so healthy and it doesnt seem to matter if Im hungry or not.  As soon as I go into the door I MUST have the drink and something to stick in my face!

It is a FAIL for me every time!!!  Stop going to the store you say?  Yes, this would make sense except this is still my kind of escape.  I am on disability so this is my outlet from the house.  Go to the gym you say!  Yesssss...this would make so much more sense.  I struggle to make myself do it.  I struggle with every portion of sticking to the plan I should be following. 

I paid out of pocket for my surgery....every LAST test, procedure, and bloodwork portion of this process!  I THOUGHT this would be such a motivator for me.  After all, it was my savings...ALL OF IT!  Why can I NOT do what needs to be done and conquer this?  Why can I not make it to my goal.  WHY CAN I NOT CONTROL MYSELF????  WHY CAN I NOT STAY ON TRACK???

Oh, how I wish I could make it to my goal.  How I wish I had someone's EASY daily diet plan to just follow.  I struggle with coming up with daily meal plans that stay interesting....easy...and on program.  I lose it EVERY single weekend when my family want the traditional biscuits, eggs, meat, grits, etc...you name it...most of which I shouldnt indulge in but lack self control most of the time to pass it by.

So, you're turn.  What has become your substitute addiction and if you have tips for me or anyone else...please feel free to share!

Shoping is it for me.   For a while there, when I was dealing with a lot of physical and mental issues - I was medicating myself with alcohol... but since I corrected most deficiencies (iron, B12, hormons) the alcohol lost its apeal to me.  I still like my wine, but now I can control when and how much I drink.

As for ay tips:  drinking water - or no calorie flavored water while you shop - maybe a good idea.
As for food - chewing things - have you tried SF gum - chewing gum (even a lot) helps me while I am hungry and in a store doing groccery shopping...

Also - since you conditioned yourself to do that - how about - either limit how much you eat during the trip- or plan the shopping trips around meals - so you can consider that one meal.

As for the weekend food - just beacuse your family wants it - it does not mean you need to have it - or that you need to be there making that for them.  i.e. My BF likes bread -- but if there is bread at home - I may not be able to resist - so I do not buy it for him.  He wants bread - he can eat that outside. But I will make him biscuits... from frozen. Morning - he gets 2 biscuits. He eats them. If he does not - they end up in his car, or in a yard ( for wild animals to have). If he want more - we bake more. As he needs and want. Not more than that.

 My substitute addiction has become EXERCISE!  Since I got on this horse 8 months ago, I can not miss a day without beating myself up.  It is my stress reliever and I just feel so darn good when I get through.  Now 12 months ago my stress reliever was Little Debbie Honey Buns.  Need I say more!  After a 70 lb. gain, I came back to this board and started journaling every morsel that cross my lips and in the beginning it was not a pretty picture.  Now I pretty much eat the same protein shakes and bars in the morning through lunch and start with actual food in the afternoon, evening and snack.  I think I just woke up from my sugar/carb induce fog one morning and said enough is enough.  I paid out of pocket for surgery also so I know your pain in that wallet.  Just start with one change a week and move on to another change when you have that accomplish.  Slowly but surely, you will be able to get back on track and find your way again.  The best part is no matter what we eat, our pouch is still there to help us if we want it to! It help me get 63 lbs. off in 8 months.   As for places to go, I go to the library.  It's free and no food or drink is permitted!  Keep coming here, it will help you to want to do better each and everyday that you come.  It certainly did it for me! 

Thank you!...I absolutely witll be returning daily!!!