Judging us

Before I had WLS, my parents always judged me, and what I ate.  Recently, since I gained 10 lbs, I'm feeling self conscious and feel that my parents are once again judging me.  My mom and dad are dropping hints about my exercising, and about what I am eating. Then m mom went out of her way to tell me about a friend of ers daughter who had wls a months after me and she got down to 135 and she was heavier than you...

So now I feel like a FAILURE once again!

Any advice?

Helen 

Hi Helen!
I really don't have any advice, sometimes our parents just feel as though they can say anything, not realizing how much their words can hurt.  You
ARE NOT a failure!!!  Next time, just look her in the eyes and smile.  You don't own anyone any explainations and don't let this get you down.  
Just keep on BOTTing!
Deb

 I do not think they are judging you, I think they do not know how to express that they want the best for you. they want you to succeed. They see that you have come a long way and want you to continue with your success.  It scares them. I have had success and it scares me when I gain and I have a son who is doing wonderfully without surgery in controlling his weight and I know before he started to lose it I was afraid for him., I would be supportive and maybe he felt like you , but we talk and I tell him how much I love him and how cruel the world is and we support each other.  Now I am trying to get back on trac and we are going to help each other, try asking for help from them. You are special never forget that, they love you enough to care to say things to you, they do not know how to do it without you feeling like they are insensitive, keep your chin up and do it for you.  

Hi Helen!  Sounds like we have the same mom!  She's been doing that to me as well.  It seems like they're trying to help, but all it does, at least for me, is make me feel bad and go back to the emotional eating!  I feel bad enough about gaining weight back, I don't need to hear it from others, too.  Hang in there!  Keep coming here for inspiration and backing!!  We're all in the same boat and will help each other through it!

Helen,

Your parents do not mean to hurt you.  Our parents want the best for us.  They just do not know the right way to help us or support us.  So keeping in mind your parents do love you, and they are imperfect please ignore them, forgive them and forget their comments and make your own positive comments to counter attack words they utter.  Remember you are not a failure and move forward.  We can not change others but we can change how what they do and say affect us.  Congrats to you on your weight loss so far!!  10 pounds can re re-lost too.  Keep coming back to BOOT for support.  Especially now since it has picked up some.

Thank you EVERYONE for your good advice and support!

 

Helen