7th week in Intensive Out Patient Eating Program.....

Well it has been a few weeks since I have blogged because I have been totally swamped and trying to juggle everything.  I just completed 7 weeks of program and I am proud of my progress so far and my mindset is changing for the better.  I am not freaking out because I can’t do it all and make changes as quickly as I thought I would or would like to.

I have been focusing on philosophy of program of 3 meals and 3 snacks and making my eating disorder of binging a 3rd person and talking to it and telling it I am stronger than it and that I will win and I do not need it any longer and that I will not let my Eating Disorder dominate my life any more.  It is a sick relationship and our therapist or director of program is helping us to see just how dependant we have been with our relationship with food.  We treat food like a friend.  I am sure some of you can relate.  In the last couple of weeks it has been compared to an abusive relationship and being kidnapped and beginning to love the kidnapper even though the kidnapper is abusing you.  These illustrations have really helped me to have a break through this week.  Everyday I am getting stronger and talking to my ED and letting it know I am done letting it get the best of me and I will learn how to survive without it.  I can't explain to you how hard this week has been but wow it is refreshing to get it out.  I am getting better with less weigh ins and I do believe not counting calories is good for me at this time.  I am using the sheets from my program to log my food.  If any of you want me to email you a copy of this sheet let me know.  They are very useful to me by letting me hash out thoughts and feelings and how they relate directly to relationship with food.  

I have been averaging 2 binges a week for the last 2 weeks which is good and I am really getting down some of the new philosophies of the eating disorder program and they are working for me too.  I have lost 7 of the 12 pounds I gained since program and this is what she told us.  She said it would get worse before we started to get better and heal ourselves of the many demons we have been holding on too for too long.   

I have been swamped these days and sometimes it can be very overwhelming.  But I am hanging in there.  It is worth the effort.  I am getting much needed help.

I hope to get back to the health club at least twice a week starting next week.  I am managing to do on average 30 to 45 min of exercise everyday.  And that is better than nothing.