Allowed myself to be lead into temptation!

I slipped right back into an old bad habit this morning.  A co-worker is leaving to another department and the office threw her a "going away breakfast".  I was smart in my planning...picked up a big bowl of various melons lastnight for my contribution.  Well, when it came time to dive in, along with my good choices (scrambled eggs and fresh fruit) I had put a pancake on my plate (knowing well that there was not even sugar-free syrup available) and then a little bit later, I walked by the table and grabbed a donut.  I ate it consciously...tasting that it wasn't even all that great, continued to consume the whole thing.  I was already feeling unconfortable and bloated this morning even before breakfast and now to add dumping on top if it all is just ridiculous.  I notice that I repeatedly make poor food decisions when I am feeling fat and frumpy or just basically displeased with myself.  Talk about adding insult to injury.  I know to just let it be in the past, and move on from this point with more focus and desire to treat my body right but Ugh!  I am tired of old habits trying to take over constantly.  Damn them.  This should probably just have been a blog entry but I needed to vent and put my cards all out on the table.
Thanks BOTT...thanks for being available.

You did make some good choices, and it was one donut not a box.  congratulate yourself on the positives and remember you can start all over with a fresh slate.

I too make more bad decisions when I am having self esteem issues.....so frustrating as I am just making it worse.  Was able to actually sit and confess to my hubby last night how I had been sneaking food and stuff.  Boy was it nice to get it out in the open.  Now I can own it and work on it.  :)

It's a constant battle. 

You did succeed, though.  You paid attention to the taste of the fat pill, and realized that
"... it wasn't even all that great"!!  That's a good thing!  I'd say that's progress.

So now you're feeling rotten about the food and yourself.  Lighten up.  Be kind to yourself.

You only ate a few carbs that didn't work for your new life.  You didn't commit financial fraud
that impoverished millions; you haven't sent "smart bombs" to Iraq to mutilate children; you 
aren't evicting homeowners who've lost their jobs.  Be kinder to yourself.  

We all have days that we feel like "pounded cat poo".  I do. I have to be careful not to eat from
stress while my Darling Daughter learns to cope with the loss of her Darling Husband at the
age of 45.  Now THAT's some stress.

Maybe finding something you CAN eat when you aren't feeling so wonderful about yourself?
Or would that simply re-enforce the "eating for solace" Catch-22?? That you might have to
ask a counselor.  Whatever you do, I'm sure you are not a bad person, and you will be OK. 

We'll be rooting for you. 

I know what you mean. I plan carefully what will work but when the time comes I do something else.
Then I get mad at myself for not following through.  I am learning to be as kind to myself as I would be to someone else. It is not a good choice but not the worst thing that could happen.
then I try to let it go and move one with the day.  The longer I worry about what I ate the longer I continue to eat things that are not my best choice.
I am glad you were willing to share this it helps to hear from others the struggles they go through.  I begin to see that many of us have the same issues.

Thank you to all of you for your insight and your sharing. And mostly right now for helping me get it back into real perspective. Deep breath....now moving on. Each of you shared something that will help me grow wiser. Thank you BOTT friends.

 You almost made it....give yourself credit for  your good choices. Next time, try to avoid the food/table.  If possible take a walk outside or up and down the stairs. I find if I do something to burn cals I am motivated to not undo what I did.  Make a list of reasons why you think you picked up the bad foods and a list of ideas to prevent it the next time. The holidays are coming and there will be a next time.

What really hit home for me was when you said and it "really didn't taste that good". I swear, everytime I don't eat clean it just doesn't taste as good as I remembered and I feel like "****" (excuse the term but it's exactly how I feel).  So why do we do it?  We have been making bad choices for YEARS - a life time and if you are as old as me that is a long time!!!!  

We are hear for you!!!!  You will do better next time!!!

Take care,
Kathy

Thank you for your thoughts, ideas, and support!  I'm 45 so I have quite a few years of bad choices that I'm battling.  Avoiding the table and burning a few calories are definitely helpful hints.

:: Hugs ::

I succumbed to temptation yesterday too. It was "anger" day at work. Everybody got angry about something or other, including me.  Then our favorite drug rep dropped in with coffee and donuts. I usually have the coffee, but yesterday I took a donut, too.  I didn't eat it all, though, because sugar isn't my thing and it quickly became too sweet in my mouth. That doesn't change the fact that I let it into my hand.

I'm 62, a bit gimpy from arthritis in my legs, so I haven't been able to find a full-time job.  WLS saved my life, but I still have to pay for my history of bad eating habits. So today I will go to the Y and make amends to my body by working a bit harder.