Dumpster Diving

Wow we deal with a lot of issues in life don't we?  It's tough some days but we have to hang in there.
I'm dealing with money issues for the first time in many years.  Not having a weekly paycheck is a killer. It's really depressing. 

I'm addicted to sugar again.  Darn it I just can't have any!  I know the only to get off of it is cold turkey. 

I usually want to eat when I am bored,happy , sad, I love food.   My small pouch usually keeps me in check.  Thank God for it.   I try not to graze.  I am determined to stay motivated by you good people on this forum.   I fight the bread thing. I love breads any kind.  

 I need to be able to put 7 days together with clean eating.......come on Kathy you can do it.

Going over my sparkpeople food list and realized I'm doing two mocha coffees daily at 245 calories each. Cannot do that! Just been trying a new recipe with instant coffee, Cocoa powder (unsweetened), Stevia, n/f dried milk. only 85 calories; much better! Now to get the flavor right.

Exercising by doing pushups on the kitchen counters while the microwave is heating my mocha water for two minutes.

It's better than nothing!

Hey all.  This is turning out to be a totally bad month!  I found out the people renting the house I can't sell in Florida did not renew their lease and are moving at the end of the year.  This has led me to freak out about how I am going to pay the bills for the house I actually live in beginning in January.  While the rent doesn't cover all the expenses of the money pit, at least it was something.  Add to that I found out for the first time in oh, I don't know 17 years of working for the Feds I will receive no performance award for all the additional duties I have been performing the past year.  That is on top of the no increase in pay the past two years and next and the increase in taxes.  I am soooooo over this economy.  The issues just seem to keep piling up and that leads to my depression kicking in.  I want my kids to have a nice christmas and I want to feel better without eating my feelings or taking drugs! 

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent.  Done with the pity party and moving on. 

I just got an (unexpected) bill in the mail that I can't pay..it's huge, and it is supposed to be my ex-husbands responsibility to pay...but he hasn't. Financial stress/worries always make me wanna run to the fridge!!! Gaaaaaah...

I layed on the couch for 4 days straight, only gettig up to shower and for food.  I don't think in my life history I have stayed in my house that long- even in snowstorms.  I feel so down and I am not really sure the cause.  Nothing seems to hold pleasure.  The only reason I got up yesterday is that I finally had to go back to work.  I had 1 patient so I literally stared at the 4 walls for 12 hours while eating Halloween candy.

i have got to find a way to snap out of this.  A change is needed- whether it is finding some friends in  my area, a job change, a vacation, or as my husband suggested a hobby.

I have never really beed depressed before, but it seems I am now.

Hello,
It sounds like depression to me.  Sometimes it just hits and there is no reason for it. The brain just switchs, your chemicals get all imbalanced and you lay on the couch for days.   My depression/bipolar got bad right after I turned 30.  My doctor said that is normal and will probably happen again at 40 and 50 and so on.  If it doesn't lift soon, go talk to your family doctor.  Also, maybe let someone close to you know what is going on so if you get worse they can step in for you.  When people are very depressed they stop thinking rationally and it can be very hard to take the steps to get better without a little (or big) push.  Take care and hang in there!

Britnany,
How is your water intake?
When you get dehydrated it throws your electrolytes out of balance and that causes depression.

Man this has been a rotten weekend. All I want to do is eat cookies. I have only had a couple bites. Hubby is just about ready to get himself kicked out of the house. Too much drama. He is diabetic but wont test his sugar. He was 550 on Sunday night when I finally got him to check. Why wont he be responsible for his health.  I cant be the food police for him.  The stress of not knowing how he is eating makes me just want to eat to calm my nerves. Drinking tea instead.  It is ok but not the same.
So far not losing anymore but not gaining either.