Dumpster Diving

Good Morning , So Blessed...

I to love to munch at night..I think it's a comfort thing..try to have popcorn or a special protien bar cut up in small squares..keep carrotts or celery in a bowl in the frige..maybe get some high protein snacks to much on.. or they say to drink water  just drink till your full...old habits are tough to break..I don't think any of us likes to be told "we can't have something" its a child thing..lol I know you can do this..it takes a couple of days to get back into the swing again..YOU CAN DO IT..  we are all here together. Hugs Despinasdream

 This challenge came at such a great opportunity for me.  I had started adding another snack after I got off of work because I was tired and stress.  Now when I get home, I eat a little protein and hit the street running (actually walking).  This walk actually revives me and destressed me.  I listen to some rocking music that my daughter down loaded for me this week and I find my happy place.  My wish for today is that everyone, no matter what demon you are fighting, finds their happy place.

The thing that is upsetting for me is when we are having a group go to lunch they ask me to pick the place. I don't eat mcuh and don't care where we go. there is always something I can have. I hate choosing for others what they will eat. Plus I don't eat out much and don't know what palces are good in our area.
I have told them this several times but they keep it up.  I laugh and say some one else can choose and they do. But it sets my anxiety raging and makes eating well difficult.  I worry about my choice of food and what they will think about what I eat. 
Working hard at not letting other peoples concern set me off.

Lots going on this week causing me to just want to throw in the towel and dive into a bowl of some comfort food.

A good friend of mine passed away from breast cancer on Sunday, have her funeral Friday afternoon and I have been worrying so much about her family this week. But honestly, seeing how brave, loving and wonderful she was until the end really inspires me to take the time I need to take care of health and myself so I can better take care of the people I love. Starting with a 5K walk/run for breast cancer on Saturday in her honor.

My husband and I have been on the verge of divorce and even though we are trying, some days it is just overwhelming.

A pinched sciatic nerve was the cherry on top, but thank goodness my meds have kicked in and I am feeling better every day.

So coming here every day helps keeps me on track on accountable.

AAARGH. 

Just trying to stay calm about a cardiac stress test tomorrow and Friday.  I thought
I was handling it O****il I realized I'd eaten about 9 of 12 mini-coffeecakes.  Ratz.  Part of the
stress is that my mom passed away from this particular problem, and I don't particularly want
to add to my recently widowed daughter's stress by giving her some reason to worry
about me. (Is that a coherent sentence????) 

Plus, my knees really bother me so I can't get out and walk, and swimming seems to bother them
too, so I'm trying to do various exercises I've found on Sparkpeople.com.  This is taking me more
effort than I thought I would have to put into it! 

Well, all of these are not reason enough to stop trying. 

Remember the Rubber Tree Plant!!!

I only swim in the heated pool at the local Y - cold water is rough on my knees. After the swim, I spend ten minutes in a hot tub, "cooking" the joints, and that gives me a lot of relief. In winter, I might sit in the Sauna instead, but that heat helps big time.

Thanks;  I'm signing up for a medical group whi*****ludes a gym membership, so I might be
able to do just that.  

What makes me nutz most is that I swim in water that is about 86 degrees F, and it is just
apparently the action of bending the knees which seem to make them really painful.  It's also
an aftereffect of using the recumbent bike exerciser I just found on Craigslist. 

Phooey.   

Well, I was doing really well again with avoiding the popcorn until I got home from work and was distracted by kids and the computer....I did eat some but not as much as yesterday....
My calorie intake is pretty much on track but protein is on the lower side....I know that I have to work on that..

I'm not sure why but the past 2 days I haven't eaten anything until 1-2pm and wasn't even hungry.   I don't know if this is good or not...  I won't get to do any cardio today but that is okay...I don't want to pu**** and go gung ho....Bea

Nothing to dump today. I'm a recovering alcoholic and was at a huge AA convention over the weekend. Came away feeling grateful and good, but really tired. The tired led to sloppy eating but I am better with that than the bingeing I had been doing on sugar and fast food.

Still am really tired tonight. Will be going to bed early. No exercise which has been my struggle from the beginning.

Today I must go to the dentist and I expect bad news. The daily struggle just to make ends meet really gets to me sometimes. I have no idea how much $$$$ this is going to cost, but I know I don't have it.

So today my food demons will be after me big time.