Feeling like a fat failure basically.

Please excuse my little rant but I need to know that there is someone out there who has turned things around after eating like I have been lately.

I've been eating pure garbage - fast food, burgers, fries, chips, candy, chocolate, you get the picture. Nothing has been off limits. Although I can't eat the same quantity I used to I'm horrified that only 2.5 years after RNY I've returned to eating some of foods that I never imagined I could tolerate. To be perfectly honest, recently the quantity of food I can eat is also freaking me out.

I started out at 341, got down to 187 and have been bouncing around 207-210 for the last 6 months or so. I need to get a handle on this before I gain more weight. I'm terrified of being the out of control, miserable, unhealthy, and unattractive person I was just over 2 short years ago. I don't want to go back but I feel like I'm truly stuck in place. I'm so discouraged by the return of the "diet mentality" - the start Monday promises, the self-hate, the bloated feeling, and the guilt.

I can't help but be haunted by thoughts that I have permanently stretched my pouch and that I won't be able to bounce back from this and get it together. I am really hoping to find some support from you lovely folks. 

Thanks very much,
Stephanie

Stephanie,
You know that you're heading in the wrong direction, it's good that you see it and are looking for help.  You know what needs to be done.  Don't wait until Monday.  Get back to basics tonight, right now!!!
It can be done, and you owe it to yourself to get back on track. Plan out your meals for the day and stick to it.  Get into a exercise routine, even if it's just around the block.  This can be done before work, during lunch or right after you get home.  Look at yourself in the mirror and make the promise to start taking care of yourself!  We are all here for you!
You can do this!
Deb

Thanks, Deb! Today is a new day and I'm starting it with a positive attitude. I can do this. If I stumble I'm not going to let it determine my next action, I'm going to pick myself up and do what's right for me. I think the support and inspiration of fellow BOTTers will really help as I reclaim my tool and my life. 

Thanks again,
Stephanie

Stephanie,
((( HUGS))).  Glad you see that you need to change your food choices.
Join our little challege - (look at posts below)
It is a Thanksgiving challenge
Put small  goals in front of you. One week at a time, one day at a time.
Sme days my pouch feels like a wionder pouch.  other days, or even dffernt time same day - a few bites may make me full.

And when i mean small changes - here what you can do i.e.
if one day you would absolutely have to have fast food - get some - eat proteins and toss the fries and the bun.  You still get a "treat" but one that your body can handle much better. 
use mustard on the burger.    etc. 


One small step... in the right direction. 

 Thanks, Hala. That's super helpful advice. I feel like so often we get trapped in that "all or nothing" way of thinking when it comes to our eating plan. I am definitely taking part in the Thanksgiving challenge, it sounds great!

Thanks again,
Stephanie

Hi Stephanie,

You are absolutely NOT alone. I feel your pain and am climbing back on the horse, myself. I had RNY on 11-02-06, lost 106 lbs and have "successfully" (tongue in cheek) managed to regain 52 lbs. I've scolded myself long enough and am now ready to get things back in gear. I'm going to focus on completely eliminating sugar from my diet, making healthy food choices, exercising, drinking water and taking things one day at a time. I want to join the rest of the awesome folks here and take the Thanksgiving challenge as well.

We'll do this together!

~Donna~

320/266/140
HW/CW/GW

Let's do it, Donna! Enough excuses, self-sabotage, guilt, and self-hate. You're right to take the "one day at a time" approach. I can't count the number of times that I've had an off meal or day and let it dictate the next week or month of poor eating choices. Let's motivate each other here and rock this Thanksgiving challenge! 

It's a deal!! I'm gonna send you a request to add you to my Friend's list, too! :)

Great! Let's motivate each other and use this great support forum to get us through the holidays and towards out goals!

Hi Stephanie and all ..
I too am new to this group and thank God I found it. Its awesome to know that Im not alone (of course I knew Id find support and help at OH).
I am 5 years out -- lost 178 pounds intially and have gained back about 35. I too find myself grazing and eating all the foods I know I shouldnt, all the while telling myself as I eat them that I shouldnt be. I have regained enough that I now feel it, my clothes dont fit and Im allowing it to completely rule my every thought. Its paralizing. Hopefully now, by taking this step with all of you, I will be able to BOTT with the best!

The one step that I have taken is to quit refined sugar completely. Ive found "detoxing" difficult but my GI tract is now much more functional without the sugar.

Ok, enough of my rambling, hope to get to know everyone and help out as well.

Peace,
Deb
346/209/175
HW/CW/GW