6 yrs out and 65 gained back

Hello All,

I'm 6 years out and feeling like a failure. I've been told I'm getting fat again and I sense that my Mom is disappointed. I'm embarressed to see family friends that saw me down at 145 which was my lowest who told me I was the skinny sister...felt bad for my sister..
It was funny my WLS surgeron told me that worse profession for an obesse person is being a Chef which I was but I didn't start gaining weight until I changed over to a desk job...maybe I should tell him. I was always active 8 to 10 hours a day sometimes 10 days straight grazed all day and never really sat down to eat a meal. It wasn't until I started eating meals that I gained weight. I rememeber when it didn't take much to fuel my body and wonder how to go back. I joined a gym back in December and work out with a trainer 2 times a week. I haven't lost much I but I feel like a lot toner then I was.

So  my question if you were to go by calories in a day what should be my target. I can't believe that I lived for 2 yrs post op with absolutly no sugar or carbs (I had stoma issues) I actually still dump sometimes worse then others so I believe that I can turn this around. Any advice or modivation would be greatly appreciated. I belong to a WLS community in Ontario but the newbies don't understand and I feel ashamed for what I see as a failure...

RNY Dr Genaw May 04 lowest 135 (for 2 days lol) maintained 145 for a number of years.

I personally do not count calories.  They are so wrong and I can eat 1200 cal and gain weight or eat 2000 and lose. 
For me is the balance between proteins, fats and carbs.  If I do not eat enough proteins or fats - I may even gain - even if my calories are not that high. If I get too many starchy or sugary carbs - I will (for sure ) gain weight - regardless if I eat 1000 or 1500 cal.  Of course - with higher carbs - the more I eat - the more (faster) I gain.
Also - if I drink wine - I either do not lose or gain.  It is what my body does.

When I do try to lose weight and count calories - I try to stay around 1400 cal - with majority of them from proteins and fat, and some carbs (only non-starchy veggies, and some berries - the only fruit I would eat then.) My body does best on diet like that.  But - at the same time - I ignore the calories from raw or lightly steamed green veggies (lettuce, broccoli, green herbs, peppers, green beans). But limit onions, tomato (it is actually a fruit) etc. 
I  also make sure to eat every 2.5 -3 hrs - starting with proteins and fat and then some veggies or some fruits.
When I try to lose - I NEVER have carbs (even green) by themselves.   i.e. if I have fruit = then have to be with some fat i.e. cheese, or Greek yogurt, etc).

I made sure i drink a lot of water or herbal teas.  Even a "bite" of something carby - will change the my body chemistry.    It is almost like a Atkins induction diet - but on a more "healthy" level. 
Since I dump on milk ( 8oz or more) I know that my body is sensitive to milk sugar - so I limit the milk also - and have Greek yogurt, 1/2-1/2 cream for coffee, etc. 
On top of that - I made sure I take all my vits and minerals, and make sure that I have very good BM every day.   I take enough magnesium to help moving things, and flax meal (up to 3 tbs per day) to create bulk.   Probiotics are a must - IMO - they help regulates the gut.  

I need to decarb this week and the beginning of next week - so I can drop the 5 lbs before my doc visit.  
 I am right now at a "good" weight  for me (size 4-6 bottom) but the OCD in me wants to be 5 lbs less before my doc visit.    lol. 

Thank you so much for your responce it was so helpful. Awesome tag line it actually made me feel better. I'm going to try some of the things you have mentioned and I appreciate the support :)

Thanks,

Jen

Welcome Jen!!  OK, so you gained 65 pounds. This does not make you a failure!  So stopped being ashamed of yourself.  Normal people gain weight all the times.  We are not perfect.  People talk, so let them talk.  You have no reason to stop living because you have gained some of your weight back.  

I had gained 80.  I have lost back 21 of those 80 pounds.  I did that since March this year and posting back here on OH.com and the groups and forums here.  It is wonderful.  Check out my blogs on my profile since March.  You can do it!!  Just stay focused and you can do it!  I have 3 P's that have served me well on this journey: Perseverance, Patience, and Positive thinking!!  You have already did good by coming back to OH.com!  Whatever you do, believe you can do this and do not give up on YOU!  You are worth it!

Thanks Mollie you are amazing and I thank you for all your support

Hala, I totally agree with taking the priobiotic.  It has helped me immensely since I started taking it daily about a year ago.  I can tell the difference within a week when I don't.  Now I'm trying to get calcium as part of my daily routine since I can't drink milk (and I don't like yogurt).  I've always been faithful with the daily vitamins and supplements.  Over the years I've had problems with anemia, but extra iron supplements takes care of that.  Thankfully I've never had any other deficiencies.

 Hey there -- wow, your post sounds like mine from two weeks ago :-)  Don't feel alone, I'm right there with you.  Small changes, more posting, more support and we'll get there.  WE CAN DO IT!!

Thanks Vikki. I'm now coming on here everyday trying to get all the info I can on where to start getting back on track, what I should do first. It sounds like I should try the 5 day pouch test or try and de carb my body. So I'm going to try the de carbing first this week then do the pouch test. :) Its sad to hear we are back to this place but as you said WE CAN DO IT!

Hi there, I also agree, you are not failure, this is a lifestyle change and a life time journey we are all on.

I gained back 90 lbs and everyday i am working towards getting back on track, back on the basics, and I will never give up until I get to my goal!  We can do this together.

I know I have to change my relationship with food and its difficult, but I have to do this and I have to know that its forever, not just "while I'm losing weight". I can't ever go back to the way I used to eat which is how I gained back my 90 lbs.  I stopped eating healthy and exercising and this is the result.

But we are going to do this, we know what we need to do. 

im right here with ya! i never got to goal and have gained 1o from my lowest.
started at 251/lowest 175 and 185 today! im just sick...i want to get to goal so bad. i havent been on OH for months but im back and will be on daily to post what i eat and my daily goals.

i want to lose 10lbs in september/workout everyday/drink water,not coke!

we can do this!!

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