Not sure why I am depressed

I have been in a funk lately and not sure why. I married an awesome man that loves and cares for me. He makes me laugh, happy, and so comfortable. I love him so much so why I am so scared to lose him. My ex-husband use to beat me like I stole something. He killed our baby while she was still in my womb. Is it that could it be that I want babies and can't have any so i am sad. I had 2nd stage cancer 4 years ago and had to have an emergency hysterectomy, is it because of that I am crying and eating things I shouldn't. I take responsiblity for my actions so I know what I am doing is actually killing me, I have dizzy spells, chills at night and tired all the time. My husband is so worried about me. I gained 15lbs since December 09. I lost a total of 130lbs. I think if I write my story about my life that maybe that will bring me some closure but I don't know. I am happy I am scared to gain this weight back. I want to lose about 50 more lbs but I can't seem to pull away from the carbs. Any body have any suggestions please don't hesitate in helping. Yes, I have seen a therapist they don't help.
Sandie

Hi Sandie,

I can understand why you've been in a funk.  Just because we've lost physical weight doesn't mean the emotional weight goes away too.  In fact, usually when we have lost physical weight the emotional weight that we have suppressed by emotional eating and excess fat does tend to rise up.  It is hard to understand because we've suppresssed certain things for so long that it can be surprising to have issues surface. 

I can only share my personal experience and that is that I went through a very difficult transition and I regained weight.  I was shocked because I had maintained my weight for four plus years and then BAM, I started emotionally eating and regained 30 pounds.  I turned to a mental health professional that helped me (actually changed my life) to deal with the deep issues I had.  I know without that help in dealing with some hurtful things allowed me to live a calm, happier and peaceful life. 

If you've seen a therapist and they didn't help, keep looking.  Don't write off working with a mental health professional just because you haven't found the right one yet.  I know, for me, it made all the difference. 

Take care, Cathy