About me . . . .

I have been heavy since about the age of 8.  I remember going to Sears and buying husky jeans.  The kids in school always made comments about my weight.  As I got older, I think my weight became a buffer between me and other people.  Eventually, I came to accept the fact that I was always going to be a big person.  Not so say I was proud of being fat but it stopped bothering me.  It just was what it was.   Coming from a large Italian family, it seemed gatherings always centered around food.  I had relatives who were offended if you didn't eat their food or clean your plate.  It sort of evolved into a celebration of foods and eating.  Of course, I excelled at that.   When I moved to Atlanta, GA in 2001, my doctor said I was a big man but my blood tests were all good and I was healthy as an ox (literally).  He said not to worry about my weight but try to do more physical activities and watch the salt.  Of course I did neither.  About 2 years after moving to Atlanta, my doctor noted that my cholesterold had gone up and so did my blood pressure.  Not enough to need medication but enough that he said I needed to do something about it.  He suggested I try dieting.  The following year, my weight had gone up again.  I observed him write "morbidly obese" in my chart.  He then suggested I look into weight loss surgery. The next year, my mother died and I became disabled due to an intestinal problem I've had since mid-teens.  Again, my weight went up.  When I went to the doctor, he expressed his concerns about my lab work, my weight and my lack of activity.  He encouraged me to see a specialist about my intestinal problems and how WLS would impact them.  Of course I didn't. The following year, when I met with him, he looked at me and sort of shook his head.  He asked if I had looked into WLS or met with the specialist?  When I told him no, got very upset with me.  He said, "When your health becomes as much of a concern for you as it is for me.... maybe you'll do something about it!"  He shouted at me.  I've never had a doctor shout at me in the office and he did.  How bad is it when your doctor yells?  I think that was my "wake up call".  My "light bulb moment".  I knew my weight was more of an issue than I was willing to admit before. The next week I met with a gastroenterologist who said the only WLS he'd support was Lap Band.  He said it was the least invasive, didn't rearrange the digestive tract and it could be reversed if it didn't work out for me and my pre-existing issues.  I then scheduled the appointment to meet with the surgeon.  In order to meet with a surgeon, you had to attend a seminar.  There are over 100 people at the seminar I attended.  All very heavy like me.  The surgeon who presented discussed the various surgeries, their pros & cons and shared statistical data on long term effectiveness of different ways of losing weight for people who've been heavy for a prolonged period of time.  He said less than 3% of people who use: diet, diet & exercise or diet pills to lose weight will keep it off for more than 5 years.  That sounded familar.  He said WLS patients kept a majority of their excess weight off for more than 10 years.  I wanted that too. I had to go thru the lengthy process of insurance approval but it all went fairly quickly.  I attended the seminar in December and was approved in late April.  Then a battery of tests and a 4 hour nutrition class.  I couldn't understand why it required 4 hours to discuss "eat less to weigh less."  Then I found out.... it's not that simple.  Surgery was just the first step.  Making permanent changes to the way I ate, learning to eat healthy balanced meals and incorporating daily exercise into my life were equally, if not more, important.  This was a much bigger change than I anticipated!   I had to do alot of soul searching to figure out if I could actually live like this for the rest of my life.  I knew how I'd been living wasn't working and if the answers were inside my brain, I wouldn't have gotten to be 322 lbs.  I decided to be open & honest with the dieticians and to be willing to accept their feedback and try to incorporate it into my eating.  Again, the way I was eating and living my life was obviously not working. I made major changes before surgery.  I started eating healthy balanced meals, alot of fresh fruits & vegetables and I started exercising everyday.  I started getting motivated and the scale started moving south!  I lost 30 lbs the month before surgery.  I almost talked myself out of surgery thinking I could just keep on the program I was on.  Then I remembered.... less than 3% keep the weight off for any substantial period of time.  I had my surgery on June 18, 2007.  The recovery was pretty fast.  I went through the various stages of post-op diet -- fluids, pureed, soft food and then regular diet.  I tried to focus on the foods I could eat instead of the ones I couldn't.  I would think about the next stage and look forward to adding some variety to the limited diet I was on.  By the time I got to soft foods, I was elated!  I could eat chicken, fish, steamed vegetables and some fruit.  It was all I needed.   I started looking online for people to talk to and support systems.  I found obesityhelp.com and several yahoo groups to post questions on and interact with others.  I also attended the monthly support group meetings that my surgeon's office provided.  All of these tools helped me.  I learned that patients who blog regularly, who participate in support groups and are engaged in their post op recovery are significantly more likely to keep their weight off.  They found that patients who "drop out of site" typically don't do as well.  Think about it... who wants to go to a meeting and tell people they aren't eating right, aren't exercising and aren't losing?  I would!  How can you get help if you don't ask for it?  How can you learn if you don't seek knowledge?  I really didn't want to fail this time!  I also heard that WLS patients face a predicament... an increasing number of them begin to regain weight after 3+ years post-op.  This is due to not making permanent changes to their diet and not adding exercise into their daily lives.  In other words... they ate less to weigh less.  Over time, they stretched their new smaller pouches into larger and larger ones requiring more food to feel satisfied.  More food = more calories.  More calories means more weight.  Again, I didn't want that. I have tried to make this journey as simple as possible.  I don't count calories but I do weigh my portions, I do measure quantity and I do eat a lean protein, whole grain carb & a fresh fruit or vegetable with every meal.  I exercise everyday.  As much as I can with the goal of becoming a more healthy fit person.  I use www.obesityhelp.com to journal my journey.  I write about the good things and the struggles.  I write about my obsessive thoughts and potential traps along the way.  I get great feedback from other people who help me learn along the way.  I also use www.fitday.com to track what I eat, my weight and my activity so I know how many calories I bring in (eat) and how many I burn (exercise) and how those two things affect my weight.   I recently signed up to lead a support group.  Before I can lead a meeting, I have to attend special training.  I am hoping this helps me grow as an individual and inspire other people to get the most out of this wonderful gift -- weight loss surgery.  Whichever one you have, you can use it as a tool to succeed.  It's just one piece of the puzzle.  Eating healthy balanced diets, getting your daily water and vitamins in, learning to exercise or be active and having the right attitude are all just as important. As an individual we can accomplish great things but as a group or team, we can truly change the world.  Having a buddy to ask questions of or motivate you to eat right or exercise can mean the difference between success and failure.  It's no fun to be at goal by yourself.  Success is so much sweeter with friends to share it with.  Join me as we learn how to succeed together! This group will only be as successful as other people make it.  Post your questions, your ideas, your recipes and your struggles so that others can learn from them or can offer ideas.  Be open to other people's feedback.  If something bothers you, there's usually a reason.  The hardest thing for me to do was not be defensive and be open to the idea that other people may have a better way to achieve the same goal. Good luck on your journey toward a healthier and fitter you!  Mick

Mick, You might have heard this before but in case you haven't your blog is a huge inspiration.  Reading your thoughts your journey, your challenges, your mood changes, different daily perspectives is a great motivation to me.  It is nice to hear that although you did not feel or was not in the mood to exercise you went and did it anyways-no excuses and afterwards realized hey it felt good.  It is an opportunity for us to see we are not alone. We share this journey together in experiences, thoughts, actions and its consequences.