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134.4

and up several pounds over what seems to be a very short period of time. This is intentional and absolutely about where I want to be, but (as I feared) the addition of white carbs has wakened the head hunger + physical addiction for them, and I'm finding it difficult to dial the carbs down. Now, it's back to detox mode for me while maintaining where I am and then continue.

The excellent nature of discussion these past days reflects my own personal growing up experiences. I recall sitting in a group session where the therapist asked (after listening to a participant's lengthy list of thrill seeking activities and subsequent accidents) just how many years it was had he been trying (literally) to kill him self.

Depression is a strange thing, and by the number of antidepressant users ( me included- a NDRI) it doesn't surprise me the variety of self medication methods described. So many ways of dealing with it and many of those ways so self defeating and destructive. Mental food for thought and hopefully, healing and enlightenment.

( have I mentioned before just how grateful I am for this group and everyone in it?)

Todays project is continuing the reconditioning of my cutting boards and blocks (deep cleaning and re-sanding yesterday) just need to oil, wax and buff.

Ima also thinking it's time for a serious Chef's knife upgrade. Any suggestions?

DD, that's an impressive statement. I admire you for knowing what you're able to do and not do.

No rain here in the longest, either---fall tree color change options are: dull green, puke yellow, brown, maybe a sprinkling of burnt orange, or dead and on the ground.

Liz, I so get your preference to stay in control. I think its an instinct we as young people develop when we are dealing with adults who are anything but in control. Kudos to you for building a beautiful life and raising a beautiful family. It's so powerful to change the script we were given as kids.

I do so appreciate my brother stepping up. There's a long history of him doing quite the opposite. But he is there now, and that's what we will focus on. If he wasn't, there would need to be different solutions. There may still need to be. Years ago, the plan was my brother and sister in law were going to move in, and my parents would sign the deed to the house to them. With the hoarding and other issues, there is no way for them to effectively move in. But one thing for sure, I will not ever be moving in, even though they may wi**** In this new stage, I am again taking stock of what I can and cannot do, what I owe them, what do I owe myself, what can I live with and still consider myself a good person... I love them, but I don't have to set myself on fire to keep them warm.

DH had his Mohs surgery this morning. The surgeon was able to get clean margins on the first cut. DH has 3 layers of stitches, two layers are dissolvable and one layer he will need removed next week. Hopefully the scarring on his pretty face will be minimal.

It hasn't rained here for 38 days. Crazy, after the monsoon we had in June and a good part of July. All these bright sunny days have been lovely, but some rain would be good for our trees and shrubs before going dormant this winter.

I'm going to do a little bit of paperwork, and then see what DH would like for dinner. I'll give him the night off from cooking. :)

Definitely ask for prescription. It's very easy to explain why you used the compounding pharamacy: supply issues. Let her know you've lost successfully, but now that the supply issues have lessened, you'd be more comfortable with a prescription from a traditional source.