Saturday, February 8, 2025

214.5... ugh... But I did not eat to promote weight loss yesterday, so I have no true reason to "ugh" this morning.

Ron is the opposite of some of you - he sleeps like the dead. It is after 9:30 and he is still fast asleep cuddled up with his french bulldog. The big dogs and I slept quite late for us - 8:00 am! Unfortunately, that means I will be up late tonight!

I have a client at 10:30 and then need to work on Buster and Bug. I think I may try to schedule a massage later today while Ron does his church thing.

I'm feeling on edge again. Not much I can do about that, but go with the flow, I suppose. I think I am just feeling unsettled this morning, more than anything. I have a sense of disquiet, dissatisfaction, and foreboding. This happens occasionally. I think it's part of my depressive issues that come up even on fluoxetine. It goes away so I tend not to dwell on it. Seems silly even to mention it, but what the heck, right?

I think there's something to be said for being comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. If you've been down that road enough times, you know you don't need to panic, this too shall pass, but you also know it's worth monitoring in case it doesn't pass in due time. When I experienced a profound depression, it was clear I was going to need more than time to get out from under it. Since then, most of my depressive feelings have been what I call situational depression, that, cir****tances being what they are, feeling sad seems an appropriate response. It usually passes when my coping skills are recharged: more sleep, more fun, better food, music, art ... but if it hangs around longer than expected, I check in again with myself, because I never want to get to the place I once was when I was 30.

Since you had this occur and your DD had a difficult time a couple of years ago at close to the same age do you ever wonder if it was caused by the same thing. Maybe a major shift in hormones?

Interesting! I hadn't until now, but you're right, we were both about the same age at the onset, and we both responded well to medication.

Sorry you are feeling down! And of course you should mention it here! That is what we are all here for! Wishing you good sleep even if you did catch a few more zzzzz's than usual this morning!

I sometimes get a feeling of foreboding as well and it haunts me for a day or a few. Often after a while I realize there is a vague memory of something way in the past which is prompting it. But not always.

I think it's safe to believe that anything "personal" anyone wants to mention here will be received with love and support. If nothing else, it's context for everyone's appreciation for what's going on with us--individually or together. After all, what one person mactions they're going through (that no one else has mentioned before) can invite others who might like to talk about the same issue(s) they're experiencing or that a loved one is experiencing.

Nice job maintaining Liz! Me, not so much. First weight this morning was 135.1. I weighed in again after eating breakfast and it went down to 134.9 which made no sense. It is what it is!

Lots of snow today! Yuck! I'm staying inside. DSD and fiancé are here until tomorrow and DC1 will come over for dinner. Build your own taco/burrito bowls with a choice of chicken, shrimp or steak for the protein, pico, avocado, cilantro lime rice, refried beans and white queso! Another family favorite!

I continue with my character development class tomorrow morning at church after missing last week's class from Covid. Just a bit of lingering congestion from that which is good! Could have been much worse!

Your body needs to adjust from being sick. It will settle down.