Wednesday November 20, 2024

Snow! I reminded myself on the way to work this morning that this is perfectly normal for mid November. Last year was the 2nd warmest winter on record. Must brace myself for a typical winter.

Liz your club activities do look so fun! Paula I get what you're saying about wanting to live in a community that offers these things. My friend's parents rented in the same condo in Panama City for years, and there were lots of gatherings, and many of the same people each winter.They would leave Minnesota for 3 months. We still laugh about the time her Mom told her on their weekly phone call, We had something called Jello shots on the bus on the way to the casino. They really were living their best lives in their early retirement years.

Peps your stories about your Dad make me so happy. It gives me hope that life's last years can still be happy. My theory is the way you die is the way you lived, magnified, but I actually don't have that many test cases. Was your Dad an optimistic charming man his whole life? Kind of sounds like it.

I do have one case study that refutes my theory. One of my friend's mother was polite enough, but she was wound very tight and was not given to much joy. Kind of stern, reserved. Dementia brought her to a different place, and she became more loving and often, the life of the party. I wondered if that spirit was always a part of her and life had just squashed it (she did have tragedies, her son was drowning and her sister swam out to save him, and she lost them both), or if it's all just how the neurons fire, or don't fire. Anyhow, I was glad for my friend, because difficult or charming, she was going to have her Mom live with her. I'm glad they had some sweet years together in the end.

Diane, what an intriguing idea for the studio to actually buy the building. Probably benefits and pitfalls galore.

We're having dinner with DH's siblings, and the nieces and nephews who still live around here tomorrow night. I'm always happy to spend time with them.

I think overall my dad has been a happy-ish person. He is very, very good about not borrowing trouble from the future and brought us both up to follow his example. I seem to have been able to adopt his philosophy and tend not to worry about things well beyond my control. My brother, however, is more like my mom in that respect and does worry. One thing my dad has always had is a very solid sense of self, service, and understood his intellectual prowess. He is extremely well read and holds both a Masters and PhD in communication and education. (My brother has a JD. I am the least well educated of the three boys. LOL! I have only a post baccalaureate degree in education.) I think his interests in the arts and economics and politics have kept him involved and positive. Even though he has a great deal of difficulty with his short term memory now, he still watches a lot of news programs and loves documentaries and takes advantage of the activities in his assisted living facility. I am grateful that he seems to be past the "angry stage" of dementia. He is usually very pleasant, cheerful and upbeat. 2 years ago he had a lot of anger and bitterness about the changes in his life.

My DH mostly mellowed with dementia - as if some adult-acquired filters left. He showed enjoyment more readily and loved dogs which he had not prior to that (except possibly as a kid). However in his last year or so he became subject to temper tantrums mostly when he didn't get his way and didn't understand what was going on.

I cared for my mom (who had Alzheimer's) in our home for almost 9 years, and she spent the last 4 years of her life in a nursing home. Needless to say, I've observed many Alzheimer's patients over many years.

A common mantra regarding Alzheimer's is "Once you've met one Alzheimer's patient, you've met one Alzheimer's patient." The obvious meaning is that Alzheimer's presents in a myriad of unpredictable ways and may change constantly.

Still, trying to make sense out of what's happening with an Alzheimer's patient is an unavoidable temptation for those of us who love them.