Monday, November 13, 2023

We leave Siesta Key today, stopping in Englewood to see some old friends of DH. Yesterday was the most perfect beach day and we went with our friends to a cute little restaurant with the best burgers ever. We had been there previously but didn't know they had an outdoor patio in the back with a guitar player. It was so enjoyable and 1/3 of the burger was plenty (and very satisfying) for me (DH and I split it). Thank you VSG for keeping me from devouring the whole thing.

I do feel lucky that my VSG does keep my weight where it is without much work. I would love to be 20 pounds lighter for several reasons but I am pretty healthy and strong at this weight and don't have to work at it. It is 70 pounds less than my highest weight before surgery. Interesting how it has changed my reaction to things like high sugar and coffee. I ordered a Margarita yesterday (haven't had one in years) and really couldn't drink more than a bit because of the sugar content - I just didn't want it and knew that I would feel yucky if I had more. And though I craved coffee after I resumed it following surgery I find that more than one cup does not agree with me and my intestines. So I now stick to one cup to wake up.

No walk this morning as DH has a blister on the bottom of his foot from walking yesterday - not good. But it is quite cloudy today anyway.

So happy for CC. It sounds like the perfect match. I'm not good with coming up with unique dog names but there are 2 that I like the origin of in my development - Putter (his Mom is a golfer) and Maggie (because his owner respects Margaret Thatcher - that is actually Maggie's full name). So maybe try to find a name that goes with a special interest (like hiking) or is a derivative of someone you think highly of?

Have a marathon Monday!

Chestnut is GORGEOUS!!!!! So, so happy for you, CC!!!!!

Not much to report, except that it was a very successful dog show weekend for me.

My weight is up and I'm not 100% sure why. The only thing I can think of is lack of sleep. I am really tired today. I know a nap will be had this afternoon. LOL! Though I did wake up without an alarm today (quite unusual for me).

Liz, you post about how your VSG still is an aid to your maintenance made me feel a little jealous. Not really, but really, if that makes sense. Funny how the mind works. I don't begrudge anyone long term VSG success, but I do envy it because my eating disorder got in the way of long term success.

Puppies are thriving - even with their deadbeat, party girl, princess mama!

I totally understand the "jealousy" - I feel it when I hear of people having success with Wegovy and think that I could possibly drop that 20 if I had access. Which is partly why I remind myself periodically that I am still pretty lucky.

I feel similarly! Not directly of Liz, of course, but jealous of the feeling. I describe my capacity as that of a "normal" person. I used to be able to eat for a family of 4. I would love to only hold what sounds like half of what I can take in, but alas... at least it's 3 servings less than I used to be able to pack away!

PS - your assessment of soon-to-be-renamed-Chestnut makes me so happy! I know how well you know dogs, so you thinking he's gorgeous means a lot! I know he's adorable, but the expert's thumbs up feels great!

Yesterday I got a lot done in my closets! I dug out the "when I lose weight again" totes, and tried on what felt like a hundred things. Some of the clothes fit fine, and went back into rotation. Some no longer interested me, and went in the donate pile. Some went back into the bin to try again after another 7-10 pound loss. Shopping in my own closet. A good move. I did dig out some size 8 pants. Was I really that small? Although *****ally knows, at my lowest weight I had pants ranging from size 6 to size 12 that all fit. Sizes are crazy. Anyhow, the size 8s are back in the bin for now. While I was apparently wearing size 8 pants, I rarely had dresses smaller than a size 12. Boobs. Or rather, lots of skin that used to hold my boobs.

I too am grateful that my sleeve restrains me in many eating situations. I would be back to my pre surgery weight or higher if I didn't have the changes it brought. I know what you mean though Peps, while you are happy to celebrate other's success, it's disappointing, perhaps demoralizing it didn't work the same for you. I wish you had a different outcome. You have certainly worked as hard, or harder than many, many post surgery sleevers. Do you regret the surgery, or was it the catalyst that brought you the healthier place you are now? Do you think if you could have surgery now, the outcome would be different? Does your sleeve have any impact on what you can eat, both volume or type of food?

We are having an unseasonably warm day. A gift.

Finding things when shopping in one's closet is so much fun!

Oh, I have run the gamut of emotions about VSG surgery and my long term outcome. I believe without the surgery I would never have reached the understanding that I have an eating disorder. I don't think my docs would have believed it either. An intelligent mind can do an awful lot of protecting to keep an "addiction" hidden - especially when eating disorders that keep one fat are still much more widely accepted as "lack of character" than disorders that emaciate.

I started strength training to help my weight loss about 2.5 months after surgery. I have been somewhat consistent ever since. It does help me to know that I am a lot stronger than I used to be even though I am as heavy as I was prior to surgery.

I had a surgeon that believed that WLS was not the end all be all for sustained weight loss and that habits, etc... played a huge part. He also believed that making a sleeve too small was a detriment to the patient because he hoped that his patients would all learn to eat normally. That said, my sleeve is larger than most, plus I am a man with a looooong torso. So, my sleeve is quite long. Even as an early post surgical patient I was able to manage a 1/4 cup of mush.

There is nothing I can not eat. There are some things that sit better than others. For a long time I was unable to eat rice. Now, I can eat it just fine. LOL! I can eat a normal sized plate of food some days and then others not as much. It really just depends. Of course, carbs seem to slide right on in and through. But I can also eat a 6 oz steak without much problem - maybe even an 8 oz steak, if I'm not eating more than a bite of the sides.

I do not know if I would opt to get the surgery again, knowing what I know now. Like your DH I miss the emotional enjoyment of food. Sometimes I feel emotionally unsatisfied, but am unable to eat more to satiated emotionally. I also miss the feeling of full I had before surgery. Whatever the mechanism is that made me feel full and satisfied was taken out with my VSG. I have not once felt comfortably full and satisfied since my surgery almost 12 years ago. I miss that. I mourned it for a number of years and felt cheated because so many people posted on the OH boards about how they felt "full" after just a few bites and how wonderful that was. Well, I never had that. I went from okay to over stuffed in a bite or two and never get that pleasant endorphin feeling of fullness.

At the time I had no qualms and the surgery absolutely worked 100%. What did not work was maintaining because of the eating disorder.

I envied the people on OH who said they never felt hungry. I always did and still have a hard time distinguishing between "real" and emotional hunger.

Greetings all

Hmmm, I was thinking it's foggy but really it is sunset time. The thing I hate most about winter is that it gets dark so early. Oh well.

CC that puppy is so adorable! Absolutely beautiful. Name ideas: Dusty, Filbert, Butter, Chevas, Barney, Tully, Teddy, Rugby, Winston. Can't wait until you get him.

Yes Liz, my sleeve still provides me with quite a bit of retraction and even though I have regained some weight, I am far less than my highest and no telling how much I would have ultimately weighted without it. I weigh less today than I did at my wedding. Once in a while I wish I could eat a whole steak but a smaller portion is just fine. But I keep reminding myself what a burden that 25lb bag of clay is and how I am carrying more than that around.

Studio time today. Got some glazing done plus I brought the payroll. There was almost no place to park. Some of the newer people are making fabulous elaborate sculptures. Truly a hive of creativity.

And yeah I craved coffee after vsg. Waking up in the hospital it smelled good. I started drinking it again at 3 weeks but it was 50% hot skim milk. Not a bad way to do coffee.

Peps congrats on the dog show wins. Puppy report please.

DD how fun to do "home shopping". Nothing better than fitting in to something that used to not fit. I have some really sparkly ass jeans from my thinnest days that I hold on to. Enjoy the search. Also enjoy the rest of Usher. We did the last two last night. Worth staying up. And I just saw that there was a season 2 of Queen's Gambit.

Well the dogs are restless so I must attend. Scrabble tomorrow. Plugged the car in for the trip.

Diane S

Wonderful names, thank you, Diane!! I was mulling over "Peanut" on my long drive to and from Scottsdale today. I used to call Fergus "peanut". Lots of opportunities for nicknames. Peanut Butter, Peanuttle, Nutter Butter, Skippy, Reece's Pieces... Then again, we've always had people names for our dogs. This would be a break with tradition...