Friday, September 15, 2023

Many deep thoughts about addiction to food, alcohol, etc. yesterday. Those of you who have had therapy can dig deeper into it than I feel comfortable. I know that much of my behavior was formed from my experiences in childhood/young adulthood but don't want to try and fully unpack that. I do know that the experiences made me strong in many ways, but also made me turn to food for solace, and made me fear the use of too much alcohol or other addictive substances such as tobacco. They probably make me feel a lack of control in confronting those issues in myself and my children.

Today is already windy with the edge of former Hurricane Lee skirting by this weekend. Justice is nervous listening to the wind. We will probably move from DH's home to mine for tonight and tomorrow as his is further out on Cape Cod and he doesn't have a generator though I do. I will use the time to begin packing for our flight to Florida in 10 days. Needless to say, DH's sisters cancelled their trip to visit this weekend.

The other thing I have to do is chase the scheduling of an MRI on my shoulder which I need to have done before I leave to bring to the surgeon in early December. We are now 8 days into a volley of calls involving my PCP, insurance, and the MRI place. I pay for the most complete Medicare supplement available and have plenty of history with my shoulder issues so it should be approved but somehow what they said would take a day or 2 is now into 8 and no one can say why. Did someone forget to do something? Has insurance denied it? Is more information being required? I just HATE the lack of control over the process and even though I keep reiterating that it needs to be done by the end of next week fear that I will be told at some point that we are ready to go but it has to be done in October now. So, so frustrating!!!

Rant done - Justice is hiding under my arm right now. Time to get organized here to plan for departure in the afternoon. Have a fully-functional Friday!

I know some dogs react to severe weather with nervousness and fear, but Justice's reaction to weather makes me wonder if he was a street dog in Florida having to fend for himself during tropical storms for a portion of his life. Do you know if he was a "stray" before he went to the shelter?

Yes, Justice was a stray picked up in Lee County in early 2018. Hurricane Irma hit that county hard in September 2017 so that may have affected him. OR just being on the street. He was bony, had lots of insect bites around his ears and had heart worm. He has recovered to be a great and handsome guy (just with a fear of wind and heavy rain).

Liz, I understand the not wanting to fully unpack the past. Like you, I believe that my experiences have made me strong and resilient. I also know that I was scarred with deep self doubt, feelings of continually being "less than", chronic depression (undiagnosed until I was in my 50s!!!!), and found all sorts of ways to self medicate my way through life and still function. Perhaps because I had a crippling depression in my 20s and sought help, I started the recovery journey early enough that it became a part of my norm.

I have read and been counseled that for those of us who formed disordered eating habits in our youth which were left untreated (the norm for overweight teens vs. anorexic teens) it takes years to recover from the disordered eating. What I have come to understand and appreciate is that my eating disorder WORKED for me for many, many years. It wasn't until I hit 30 that it progressed with the stress of life that it became a much bigger problem for me.

Yesterday I THOUGHT about eating a little more healthfully. I did do a little better. I really need to focus on getting hydrated. I simply don't drink enough water. Yesterday not even a full 24 oz of water! But I did have 2 Coke Zeros..... (rolling of the eyes and heavy sigh....)

Dog show weekend. Hope we do a little better (well, actually a lot better) than we did last weekend. LOL.

Oh, I ordered a new suit for my judging assignment at the National Specialty in Pennsylvania (for Diane S - judging sweeps at Montgomery). It came and it is a better color than it looked to be online. It is a deep, but brilliant sapphire blue with a very delicate window pane pattern. I am so pleased! Now to have the alterations done. It was a $400+ suit on clearance for $79. Just can't go wrong with that! I've paid more for jeans before!

Festive Friday to all!

That suit sounds like it has beautiful fabric. Can't wait to see a picture of you in it!

Welp, I was going to leave tomorrow, but the perimenopausal goblins sent that time of the month a week and a half early. Given I despise public restrooms and I don't have be home until the 21st, I will not be leaving until Monday. More time to leisurely get myself ready to leave...

I got my hair done today, mailed my estimated taxes and the condolence cards, went to the bank and am hanging out in my house now. Not much else going on here. I did weight myself yesterday and it was pretty bad. Argh. So much for getting myself into better shape for the family wedding next month. Now I need to find something to wear for a shape I don't like.

I hope you all are fairing well. Hoping you don't get damage from the storm, Liz!

I hated the perimenopausal years. They set one up to be greatly relieved when it is all done.

OMG, sweet, sweet Friday! DH and I are going to happy hour in a few minutes. Other plans for the weekend include seeing My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3, and Sunday, a very special event. My Aussie sister will be arriving in Minnesota tomorrow, with her husband and grandson. Her son and his wife are flying into Minneapolis on Sunday. DH and I will pick them up and drive out to my parent's area for a family get together. (my nephew and his wife arrived in the US a few weeks ago and hung out in Utah, and then left their son with grandma, my sister, while they went to NYC for their wedding anniversary).

Hope the storm doesn't cause damage Liz, and you can stay hunkered down at home, safe and warm.

CC, enjoy your last weekend in Michigan, and start your journey on Monday in a good head space.

Peps, you have really been packing your weekends with dog shows! Good thoughts for a fine outcome this go round. Your suit sounds very chic! Do share pictures once you have it tailored to your liking.

Greetings all

Day 3 of the chicken leg adventure. Only one left so not sure what I will do (dummy go to the store and buy more). Dogs are watching me hoping I make a mistake.

Just got back from annual mammogram. Oh joy. Seems like they drag it to maybe every 14 or 15 months. Probably some medicare deal. My mom had breast cancer though recovered fully. But I have so many friends who had had it (and some died) that I feel strongly about the screening. My primary care acts like it's optional. Not so. Anyway, all the women there were big fat and old. I fit right in.

Liz, poor Justice. It's not just thunder that gets dogs worried - its high winds too. Tesla gets really worried and she has never lived on the street so who knows why. Just is.

Yay Peps, a fancy new suit! And doing the sweeps at the national is a big deal! You are on your way to being a big time judge. GL for this weeks shows.

CC I don't blame you for not driving. I know the feeling well. Glad you can be flexible.

DD sounds like a fun friday. Good for you for great weekend plans.

Liz I hear you on wanting to leave the past alone. I still walk around with food/eating baggage from childhood but it takes less energy these days to just let it be. Guess thats another part of being old. Stuff just kind of fades away. Plus I think I fully understand how and why I had eating issues as a child. So there it is. Anyway, Liz I hope you get in for your shoulder. I think you are right that half of health care is somebody at a desk trying to wiggle out of any expense.

So tomorrow is my birthday. We are going to this restaurant that has a spectacular ocean view. At least it does if it's not foggy which it is today. No telling tomorrow. Our football team also plays at the same time. Picture me in a sunset restaurant checking my phone for football scores. Kind of pathetic. But wish us clear weather. If it's foggy we might as well go to the taco truck.

Cheers all. Diane S

Happy early birthday, Diane!