Thursday, March 9, 2023

Interesting that we all seem to be stuck in the same place with weight loss. The immobility thing is big, more than how we look. And I too refuse to not ever have a cracker or the like. But I probably don't need to have as many as I do once I have one... Though my sleeve works well when protein is involved, it seems to have a very large capacity to handle starchy carbs.

Yesterday we went to the beach where we were married almost one year ago. We had never actually spent a day there and it was lovely! Not very many people, easy parking and we stayed under our personal palm tree for shade.

Today it is cloudy and windy believe it or not! But still warm and the likelihood of rain is fairly low. That means our Justice walk will actually be more pleasant (not so sweaty). We plan to get some errands and "bookkeeping" done in advance of Mike's DS visit over the weekend.

Have a thoughtful Thursday!

Definitely agree that my sleeve can accommodate carbs a lot easier than protein.My protein limit is still very small I think. 3 ounces of steak usually fills me. I can't test it with chicken breadt, because I can only handle a bite or two of plain chicken breast.

Liz, glad you had a fine day at the beach lounging under your own palm tree.

CC I would have been very intimidated by the improve lesson too. Brave of you to forge ahead. I hope the next meeting's topic/activity is a little more in line with what one expects.

Not much new here. DH had a physical today, blood work is not back of course, but all other indicators are good, with the recommendation that he lose weight. He is valiantly working the Omada program offered by our insurance. Its more of a behavior modification, education program. You track, but not amounts, just what you atr. He's lost some, and he diligently does the lessons and talks with his coach. He thinks he might need to measure portions to really move the scale.

Sorry to be absent so much lately. Just a sign of my busy life I think.

I am totally relating to everyone on the lack of weight loss mojo. Yet, I am pretty aware of what is going on with me and that is making it even harder. As most of you know, I harbor a lifetime of dysfunction around food and eating. I am finding myself in a shadowy place lately in my thinking about weight loss. It's very eating disorder controlled and I am coping with it because I am able to label it, but damn! I would much rather be able to "just effing Do It!" as some of us like to put it! My shadows bring momentary anxiety and fear.

I am just going to throw this out for everyone to gnaw.... Every comment I hear about weight loss here lately has involved a comment around what you don't want to give up - crackers, wine, etc.... I am very much like that, too. This to me means we all find weight loss mode to be a mode of deprivation either physically or emotionally, perhaps both. Is it really deprivation to not eat as many crackers or to drink fewer glasses of wine or have only one ****tail, instead of two? Kind of the same thing I face each day with treats: Is it really deprivation to have just one cookie after dinner instead of half a dozen throughout the day? If I don't plan for something and it appears in front of me, is it deprivation to choose to not eat that suddenly apparent something?

Liz, why do you presume you will gain weight on your cruise? Why do I still refer to myself as fat when there are other more kind and suitable descriptors? DD, why do you and I stress eat? All of these types of things play into our ability and inability to lose weight.

Not one of us got fat/heavy/obese/large bodied by eating instinctively for our physical needs. We over ate. Why do we do that? Why do we still even after WLS? Wonderful things to contemplate.

Shadowy places lurk in all of our psyches. I know the more I investigate my thinking, the more I get to know the actions and thoughts that lead to the dark places. As my thinking/wants and actions become less aligned the more shadowy places I find. Facing reality can also bring on the darkness....

At least it's Thursday.... Tomorrow is my "happy day".

On life's other fronts.... Pups are now 8 weeks and getting ready to start their new lives. Brother and I are interviewing realtors so we can get my dad's townhouse on the market. Dad's dementia seems to be making a leap ahead to the next stage. And.... I have had enough rain for this year. It can stop now..... PLEASE!

Excellent topics to mull over!

Already time for those adorable pups to move on. Time flies! I am sorry about your Dad. Sometimes people with dementia seem to stay on a plain for a bit but inevitably they fall off the edge and continue their downhill decline.

As always you make excellent points about disordered eating. In the first few years post-VSG I was able to be content with one glass of wine or one bite of dessert. But the last few years I have lost that capability to some extent. As you have pointed out, a lot of my eating has been happy, social eating. But I still find myself falling back into a mode of eating because I am tired or anxious. Not good.

Greetings all

It's been raining all day to one degree or another. I had planned to go to the studio but am not feeling very inspired so I stayed home and watched the Dateline show on the Murdaugh murders. I love this crap. DH thinks I am nuts. No exploding aliens.

Well said, Peps. Why indeed do we medicate with food? How did we get to this place? Lots of other people do but lots of people don't. I can only remember about twice in my life where some kind of stress made me unable to eat. Mostly stress = bring on the cookies. These days it's more bring on the cheese and crackers but still, there it is.

My comments yesterday were pretty gloomy but today I feel more hopeful. But one thing is clear: I need to be really concerned about mobility. I gimp around pretty slowly these days and it's not cool. 10 years ago when we went to Italy we walked and walked and I ate pizza and gelato daily and did not gain weight on that trip. Exercise alone does not make you lose weight but it does have an impact. I used to walk a lot more than I do now. Need to fix that even if it's just on the treadmill.

So there is more pot roast tonight and it's good. Just beef and carrots for dinner which works for me.

We have been watching the show about the salesmen who sell time shares on the moon. Can't remember the name. something tomorrow. I am not crazy about it because these people are con artists. Give me true crime any day.

Well the dogs are sending messages subliminally. "feed us". Must obey. Diane S

I am not in the same league as our other exercisers. A decision to wake up and go on a 5 mile hike like CC or Liz can do, its going to be a bit rough, and I'm probably going to be sore. To say nothing of the workouts Peps pulls off. But weak, out of shape me has seen big dividends from moderate, but regular exercise. It could be worth your time ...

Stress eating. I'm pretty sure I'm after 2 things:

1. oral satisfaction, when a body is disregulated, something in the mouth helps re organize. When I worked with students who were very disregulated, a piece of gum, or a small hard candy could sometimes stop a meltdown.
2. DOPAMINE! Oh the dopamine hit from a really good dessert. It works in the moment. I can feel it just thinking about a memorable piece of cake. There are lots of ways to get a dopamine hit (or serotonin) but food is the quickest, easiest way. The other ways simply not allowed at work :) Where all the stress is :)

Another issue I'm thinking about is free food. Parent groups aren't bringing food/treats for us that I couldn't afford to go buy myself if I really wanted it. Yet, it's so hard to resist.

Sometimes I just try to stay away from the break room until it's surely all gone, but then friends bring me one (I grabbed you a cookie before they are all gone) or someone leaves a thank you candy bar in my mail box etc. In these cases, I try to tell myself that I can determine the serving size, and take a bite or two, and throw the rest away... And sometimes I can do it. (What works the best is to break off my portion and throw the rest away before I start eating). But again, I often fall for free food. Need to probe the psychology of that more...