Monday, November 14, 2022

Busy week coming up as we leave early morning on Saturday to pick up Mike's family at the airport. We need to shop for next week prior to that. In addition, we have a neighborhood party tonight, a Bocce banquet on Wednesday, and a fancy wine dinner on Thursday. No rest for the weary with all our usual activities fit around that. Good thing we are retired ;)

I am thinking about my weight but not doing anything to change it which isn't terribly helpful. I feel like even some loss would be good for my BP at minimum. I am not that big compared to my prior standards but as I have gotten older my HBP has progressed a lot.

Time to get ready for water aerobics. I do wish exercise caused weight loss as I am fairly active these days.

Have a marvelous Monday!

I had a great weekend with my friend! Packed full of galleries, food, hiking, and socializing.

The truck reserved for my move broke down so still no furniture. Supposedly I should have my stuff early this week, but not today. So we just had fun. She cried when she saw my house and loved it and loved it for me, which was touching.

She hadn't been to Sedona since she was a kid and was in awe of how beautiful it is. We went to a ton of galleries and she is going to apply to a few for her art. One night we went to a party at my real estate agent/new friend's house. All the people I've met so far were there plus many others. Both of us had a great time, which made me happy because I worried if she would, not knowing anyone. I shouldn't have worried - she was fast friends with several of them by the time we left!

Yesterday we went for a morning hike along the creek. Everything was covered in white frost, the changing leaves remaining, and the sound of the water backing it all. I think the cold kept most people away until we were leaving. Heaven! Later we had lunch with an old family friend of my friend's who moved here from CA 37 years ago. She is really involved in the community and so, so nice. I think she'll be a great person to know!

The only bummer of the weekend (and not a huge deal) was the two, late 4 hour round trips to the airport in the dark.

Anyway, I ate too much, fell off keto, but had a great time. Back to the grindstone today!

As DD said, your enjoyment of your time with your friend really jumped off the page. And you are so quickly settling in to a life with good friends in beautiful surroundings. Lucky you! Your Mom is certainly smiling down at you.

CC, what a lovely description of your weekend and your dear friend. The affection you share just jumps off the page as you write about all your doings. It's so nice too to hear about the connections you have already made in the short time you've lived in Arizona. For someone who identifies as an introvert, you do a really good job of making social connections. I really don't know if I could do it with the same grace you have.

Liz, I bet all of your exercise and activity is keeping you a smaller size, fit and toned. No doubt, good for your blood pressure too. But it is true that even a small drop in weight can correlate with better blood pressure. That is probably a compelling reason to consider how to get back at it. You look great, but you want to keep feeling great.

The weekend at my parents had it's moments. I am feeling better, but still worn down, and after a full work week, it's harder to be patient. There was a point when I was upstairs crying in the guest room out of frustration, and if I'm going to be honest, old hurts. It makes me mad that I can still be hurt at this stage of my life, good grief, I'm 61 years old. And most of the time I do deal with their nonsense and their tone deaf comments and shrug them off, but I was tired. Some of the repeated ones: how lucky we all were that abortion wasn't legal when my Mom got pregnant with me, or she might have missed out on a great daughter (so heartwarming!), my Dad telling me how wonderful my SIL is, and well, how proud he would be if he could have raised a daughter like her (ah, I'm sitting right here, are you sure I'm the correct audience for these musings?) Thank God, truly for DH, who is able to listen to "the airing of the grievances" (there are 5-6 stories that must be revisited in some manner at every single visit) with such patience. He is my rock.

So food, I am all over the place. Eating carbs for some quick energy, then no appetite, then hungry. Trying to keep pushing the protein. Weight loss has halted. I'll worry about that another day.

I am feeling better though. Coughing has lessened quite a bit, and I'm not napping as much. I feel more energy at work. I'm not 100% yet, but feeling well again seems like a possibility. I'll take it.

Oh DD, the lack of self-awareness your parents display is jaw-dropping. They are seriously blessed to have a daughter who sticks around despite the painful barbs. And God bless your husband for supporting you through that.

Makes me think a bit of my mom with her mom who was mentally and physically abusive to my mom growing up (it was how she was raised, so I don't think she knew better. My mom was the cycle-breaker with me) and just plain narcissistic later in life. My mom used to say, "I am good to her for me, not because she deserves it, but because I am the bigger person and don't want guilt on my conscience when she's gone." The pain a parent can cause their children at any age is like no other.

And thank you for your sweet comments! I really have tried to push myself here when it is absolutely not in my nature to want to do it. I read a lot of advice and questions from people who had uprooted themselves and the ones who struggled were inevitably the ones who didn't make an all out effort to connect and then wondered why they hadn't found a "home" in their new towns and wanted to move back. I could see how, given my hermit side, that could easily happen.

So sorry DD that time with your parents is so difficult. I'm sure they have no idea how their comments/grievances feel to you but that doesn't make it easier. They are luckily you are such a good daughter to them and Kudos always to DH for always being there for you

Greetings all

Well it's Monday which is just another day to me. But it's kiln unloading day so I picked up some newly fired items and hauled them to the gallery. They had big sales yesterday so there was a lot of cash for me to take to the bank. It was also studio payroll day so I pick up and sign the checks. everyone's best friend for the day. We were considering electronic payroll but for 5 people won't do it just yet.

Liz you are wise to exercise. I think part of my regain is being so sedentary. It matters. So I should take my own advice and get up and move around.

CC sounds like a great girl's weekend. I so envy you getting to go to all the Sedona art galleries. And fun with the house. Hope your friend gets into a gallery there. I think being in a smaller town makes it easier to make friends. It was for me and I am an introvert as well. Join a club or two and there you are!

DD sorry your parents were jerks during the visit. I swear it's wired into some people. They have no clue how they sound. And those hot buttons are hard wired in. My mother seemed to always want to pick a fight with me - usually her telling me to do something, me refusing, and then her nagging about it. Honestly stupid things but it used to so frost me. What would happen if you responded with "why would you say such a thing?". Not that I ever did that. Glad you are feeling a little better. Pampering called for.

Well the old dog is telling me it's dinner time. I'd better get to work.

Diane S

My parents are old now, so I see no point in trying to change them, only my reactions. Usually I can just let it roll. I'm good, I've built a happy life, and like CCs Mom, I hope I've broken the cycle for my kids.

Especially during the "airing of the grievances" I look out the window and murmur mmm, ohhh, hmmm... It's no use offering any advice, insight, perspective etc. This weekend my guard was down a bit, so frustration crept in. Thanks everyone for listening.

Amazing to me that some people still aren't comfortable electronically. It seems like paper checks are actually dangerous with all the fraud going on. And who wants to deal with the time delay after a deposit? Can you even get Social Security by paper check?

ETA: I just looked up my second question: From the SSA site: "Federal law mandates that all Federal benefit payments - including Social Security and Supplemental Security Income benefits - must be made electronically. There are two ways you can receive your benefits: Into an existing bank account via Direct Deposit or. Onto a Direct Express® Debit Mastercard®". So these people are going to have to go somewhat electronic at some point.