Sunday, June 26, 2022

It was a good day yesterday: Beautiful weather, family at the beach (including my so cute grand-nephew), and seeing old and new friends. I ran into a couple from my old hometown who I have known for almost 35 years but haven't seen since deceased DH's funeral. I introduced them to Mike and had a great chat. Then we met Mike's friends for dinner at a lovely restaurant on Cape Cod Canal. What nice people! They told us that they are moving full-time to Cape Cod by the end of the summer. Mike was thrilled to hear that as they had been grappling with possibly selling their Cape House and staying in the apartment they rent near their grandchildren because having two places was getting to be too difficult financially and physically. But they finally decided that since the grandchildren are growing fast and don't need them as much they would rather be in their happy place on Cape Cod which will allow both of them to fully retire. Nice!

So I felt slightly virtuous because I only ate the mussel appetizer for my meal and didn't fini**** Of course there was a butter/wine broth and I did eat the bread with it so I have a feeling my virtuosity is misplaced. But I did realize that it is true that when you eat slow you eat less. Obviously having to dig for the little mussels took time which I think is what gave my stomach time to feel full. If only I could remember that when I am doing my usual wolfing down of my meal... I just have never gotten the hang of making myself eat slow when having a regular meal. Too many years of eating on the fly.

Today I am cutting some plants back, going to the beach for a couple of hours, then driving with my son to Central Massachusetts for a celebration of life. I am not looking forward to the drive (1.5 hours each way) or the event, but it is what DD's friend used to say she wanted when she died someday. And since someday came sooner than expected this will be tough for DD and many others. This is the woman who worked with the Aruban dog rescue organization and inspired me to transport the puppies to the US last week in her memory.

Have a satisfying Sunday!

Hello from my cottage in Ipswich Massachusetts! We are unpacked and settling in. We have some healthy and delicious food in the fridge, so off to a good start : )

We arrived Friday evening, had dinner with my Aunt and Uncle, and then got situated here in the cottage. Yesterday we drove DD to her class in Salem so she didn't have to take the commuter train. No sacrifice, we love poking around the shops. We got some groceries, and again had dinner with my Aunt and Uncle.

Today we are going to DD's apartment in Boston to unload the things we bought her from Minnesota, and hopefully, buy DH a used bike. There are many listings on Facebook marketplace, etc. and he's been emailing with a few sellers. He's not fussy, something to cruise around on for under $100, and then he'll donate it to Goodwill when we leave.

Tomorrow and Tuesday we will take my Aunt to some appointments in Boston. I am so happy we can assist with that. The Transit system is apparently having a huge meltdown this summer, and a few lines have had to be suspended indefinitely. Apparently there is structural damage at a station called Government Center, and they can't route the subway through there. No word yet on repairs, but it sounds like a huge mess.

It's wonderful to have Paula and Bonnie back! The regain fight goes on in some way for all of us, and we all benefit from each other's support!

Yeah, the transit is a bit messed up - luckily the blue line which we took from the airport to our hotel last weekend wasn't affected. Another great weather day (but probably very hot in Boston).

Pictures of your summer cottage, please!

I'll post some soon! I took a few today, and I'll finish up tomorrow.

Back to purge mode! I got rid of two wall hangings/paintings yesterday that I don't love on NextDoor. DVDs are out of the drawers and ready to go to Friends of the Library. Next up is to decide what books I can get rid of.

Weird night's sleep. I was wide awake at midnight and went downstairs to watch tv to keep my brain from spinning. Then back to bed at 2:30 and slept until nearly 10. I had pizza for dinner. That may have done it. Initial carb coma, then wide awake, then normal sleep.

No rat sightings for several days. They may be taken care of!

I think that may be it for the day. Off to get out of my jammies!

Greetings all

Whew, just finished up a visit with two friends. Both are olympic level talkers so it was battle of the titans! Not one second of quiet for 3 hours. Puppy Batgirl came to visit and she and Poppy had a great time chasing in and out. I think it was the guest dog that pooped in the back hallway. My friend brought a pizza which was nice but agreed - nap needed.

Its overcast today so I am glad I had sun yesterday for the gallery duty. Its so much nicer because I can leave the door open and less covid worry. Kind of a mess up on who was going to work late for Art Night cuz it was not gonna be me. All worked out. And some lady called me with a zillion questions about tide pools and where to take little kids. She had seen a picture in the paper of tide pools that one of our artists did and decided to call the art gallery to inquire about tide pools. I looked up the tide chart because I had a newspaper but I am not sure this woman understood that they were only viewable during a super low tide which was not this week. All this on a call to an art gallery!

Mussels Liz, probably low calorie but there is butter and such. Probably a good dinner choice. They grow all over the rocks out here but can only be harvested in the winter.

WE are all struggling with regain. I truly think part of my problem is being sedentary because my feet and legs hurt. Years ago when we went to Italy and I ate pizza and gelato daily - sometimes twice - but gained no weight. Also between meal snacking did not occur on that trip. Also part of the French paradox which is that they eat rich food but don't get fat. I think its because they do not snack between meals unlike us Americans who drive around eating as we go. My friend who lived in Mexico and had VSG has remained quite slim and its because she moves around all the time. Steps and active chores. Not me.

Yep DD we want to see your cabin. Glad you are having fun in spite of the trains or lack thereof. Trains and subways are such a fun part of a big city experience. I so wish we had a train from here to San Francisco. There were tracks but they were destroyed in the 74 earthquake and not rebuilt. Now they are going to become a hiking trail. I will keep it in mind next time I want to walk to San Francisco - a mere 285 miles.

Liz a pox on that real estate agent. Is there a state board to complain to? Maybe not an illegal action but a nasty one.

Cheers all.

Diane S

It's the circular nature of pain that is such a bummer. Feet/body hurt from the extra weight, extra weight makes walking not enjoyable, not moving brings extra weight. Sigh. I did find that walking got easier every day I did it and fairly quickly too. But I don't have your boot issues and I'm going short enough distances not to bring on the dreaded plantar fasciitis that comes from doing too much too fast.

I am not doing such a great job at keeping up on posting these days, but I do read daily! Excuses, excuses... I know, no excuses.

I will second that it is nice to see Paula and Bonnie posting again.

Puppies are well. The big litter continues to be robust and meeting all developmental milestones. The three littles are like premies! They are just behind all the way around. EXCEPT having been bottle fed they LOVE, LOVE, LOVE human companionship - my little girl especially. She melts me.

I have not much to say about regain on a personal level. Most of you have traveled on that journey with me, so it's not worth hashing over again. What I can say is that in reading reading the comments here about regain there seems to be a lot of self admonishment, recrimination, shame and embarrassment about regain. I am going to gently remind you all that not one of us here is "normal", average, or without dysfunction when it comes to our thinking or behavior with food. I happen to call my issue an eating disorder. Call it what you will, but remember undergoing VSG was a drastic, "last ditch" effort for most of us to lose weight and keep it off. Most of you have had far better luck than I in that department. Pat yourselves on the back. It's not easy to keep the weight off for any length of time. I weigh 9 pounds MORE than I did when I sought out VSG as an option for weight loss, but I am happier, healthier and stronger than I was 10.5 years ago even though I weigh more than I did way back when.

It is my belief that every single one of us here has some type of eating dysfunction. You can challenge me all you want, but that is my belief and I hold fast to it. My recommendation is to understand that the person you are is not defined by your weight or clothes size or a number on the scale. Weight is fluid and it is a symptom of how we use food to survive the complex emotional world in which we live. Our dysfunctions have served us well, or we would never have reached the weights we have. I don't believe for us that any method (JFDI, low carb, no carb, WW, nutrisystems, Noom, etc....) will work long term without a lot of self reflection and understanding of our own personal reasons we eat the way we do.

I kind of love where Liz says she is in her thinking right now: She's 10 or 20 pounds over her ideal (sorry if it's more like 10...), but she's understanding that she can pretty much eat as she pleases, likes how she looks and can make minor changes to adjust her weight a pound or two one way or the other when needed. This is an AWESOME place to be, IMO. It is also where I am - except I am still no okay with how I look. Yet, I know that how I look is far less important to me than I make it out to be, because I still find so much value in my dysfunctional eating. Eating truly outweighs my appearance.

I also want to remind that exercise is wonderful for many, many health and vitality reasons - including maintaining weight, but science has shown that it is not a key factor in weight loss. Weight bearing exercise during weight loss helps maintain muscle mass, but it won't necessarily help you lose fat.

Now, just imagine if I pontificated on a flipping personal level! LOL!

Yep- and agree strongly with idea of having an eating dysfunction and will admit to embarrassment over some regain. The whole of your paragraph 5 is so-spot-on and speaks strongly to the need for self awareness in recovery; well said.

Self awareness and understanding why I am the way I am has helped me shed the shame and loathing -allows me to love myself better and so want to treat myself in a more loving way.

That said, embarrassment, self admonishment, and rebuke are (imo) appropriate responses for participating in the willful, self abusive ACT of dysfunctional eating. It is the ACT (I'm the one doing it- and so therefore I am rightfully to blame) that embarrasses me. I am responsible for the behavior who better to admonish (suggest strongly that such behaviors are no longer desirable or healthy), and rebuke (provide a good "smack-down -open your eyes-truth as in- return to practicing healthy self discipline (not punishment- but rather a return to right acting).

Nothing in the above said implies shame, irreparable brokenness, self hate or helplessness. I am not a bad person because of what I weigh or look like or even poor choices or actions I make. However, the ACTIONS can be considered as bad and it is an act of self love and care to own those behaviors and acknowledge and hopefully behave better.

Well, anyway, this is where your thoughtful post has taken my thoughts tonight . Tomorrow, who knows? I love-love this forum where we can feel free and safe just to "lay it out there. Thanks for being here-you are amazing.