Monday, December 13, 2021

Is it Monday already? It is 5:40 am and we are on the way to the airport with DD and BF. It has been a nice visit but it will be good to have a couple of days alone before we go north. Though most of that time will be spent clearing out and packing.

After we drop the "kids" we are meeting Mike's closest childhood friend for breakfast as they won't see each other until at least April.

Have a safe and healthy Monday!

Your social schedule is just plain too full! LOL! I don't know how you ever worked!

Neither do I?

Mr. Allen is a little cranky today! I got somewhat decent sleep last night, but still Liza is not being an optimal mama dog. UGH... Couple that with rainy day behavior and a MONDAY and it is a perfect storm for a little crankiness!

Eating calmed down over the weekend, so that is good. It is becoming more and more apparent how much I NEED to protein load for my first meal. To do that on school days I am going to have to meal prep. Have I mentioned that I resent having to meal prep? Well, I do. It's one of my hang ups. My tapes tell me that normal people don't have to meal plan.

The plan is to finish decorating tonight. Fingers crossed. My BFF is all about outdoor Christmas lights and gives me a bad time that I don't light the outside of my house. Yet, I deck the halls inside and he doesn't even have a tree! Go figure, right?

If any of you have young boys on your Christmas lists, Beyblades are HOT right now. As a former little boy, I've gotta say, I like them, too! Check them out: beyblade

Time to run!

My 26 year old son loved those back in the 90s. What goes around, comes around...

Pep's rain will be here tonight. We need it!

The concert was nice last night. But I'm feeling more anxiety than usual. The first sign was at Home Depot. I wanted to buy a space heater (it's not cold enough to heat the whole house, but it gets a *****illy sometimes, where you just want to take the edge off it). I couldn't find them anywhere, even though the website said they had 34 of them. And I found I absolutely couldn't bring myself to ask an employee for help. I walked every inch of the store, saw lots of people I could have asked and couldn't do it. I ended up leaving near tears, not that I didn't get what I wanted, but in frustration with myself.

It brought me back to my fat days when I would have driven to a store and couldn't make myself get out of the car. Social anxiety is all about fear of judgment, of making a fool of yourself, of being a burden to others. Last night after the concert they had a reception. The fear of socializing hit so I ran away. Frustrating again. I don't get panic attacks. Instead flight from fight or flight kicks in hard. Sometimes I find being me exhausting.

Today I have a zoom board meeting for the non-profit I agreed to help with in MI, but that's all.

Still overeating, also frustrating. All I want are carbs. Bread, sweets, candy. Control and feeling great seems to ebb and flow. I'm ebbing. Looking forward to flowing!

Totally understand. Sorry you are ebbing. Eventually you'll find you won't mind the ebbing so much. Your social anxiety serves a purpose. It protected you for years and years. Now that you are changing it just doesn't work as well as it did. No big deal... you'll ease in to what you need now.

HUGS!

I'm sorry. It must be so difficult to feel that way. I hope the flowing comes soon for you.

Hugs.

Greetings All

Rain rain rain today. We will take it - like there is any choice - bu****er is always welcome. And no wind.

Today's mission is to pick up studio payroll plus bonus checks, go buy claritin, and maybe get to the bank. We got a california stimulus check and also a big tax refund with both our names on it so we both have to show up at the bank together. No clue why we got the stimulus check as we don't need it. Donate to the food bank I guess.

CC I totally get how you feel on seeking help in the store. Big box stores are the worst on that - you have to aggressively seek assistance and its unpleasant. I hate doing that too and also get mad that I cant find what I want for myself. Blame the store for crappy arrangement.

I sort of binge shopped at the grocery store yesterday. Not in volumes but picked up a number of odd impulse items. I was hungry and the deli stuff smelled good and I got a serving of asian meatballs - an odd thing but pretty good stuff.

Peps those pups are adorable. Picked yours yet? Poppy kind of ended up being ours by default but I think she is the best of the bunch. We will see Batgirl in two months.

Gallery sales are picking up. Should be a good season.

I ate chicken al fredo for breakfast. Not recommended. Yeah Peps I also resent having to do food prep. I would eat egg bites daily except the store bought ones have too much in the way of odd spices.

DH is having colonoscopy friday. So the entering week is spent planning it. Geez we need to get a life.

Liz you do entertain so much!! amazing and good for you.

Hmm I'd better get going as there is a break in the rain.

Diane S