Tuesday, November 9, 2021

Good morning! It is cloudy here right now but warmer and less windy than it has been. I am leaving for my golf lesson in about 45 minutes. Hopefully it will be warm enough to go to the beach club afterwards. We went to the public beach yesterday and though it was super windy there was full sun so it was really enjoyable.

My eating was mixed yesterday. On plan most of the day but too much for lunch. Today I started out good with steel cut oats. Interestingly I seem to need a smaller serving of them to fill me up than I thought I had eaten previously. We shall see if it holds off hunger like eggs and cottage cheese. I looked at the new WW plan. It isn't much different except that it tries to make allowances for favorite foods. For instance the steel cut oats and avocados are now zero point foods for me. I think it might adjust the total points allowed for the day based on that? I'm really not sure and I am not sure I want to track but I shall make that determination over the next week. If I truly want 10 pounds off by the time we go to Hawaii in early January I do need to buckle down. Surprisingly I usually do well over the holidays when I am trying to lose. I think having structure but allowing some favorite foods usually works okay for me.

Have a safe and healthy Tuesday!

Normal BMI morning! 184.2. Going to bed at 7 cuts off a lot of eating time... I was so tired and crampy and cranky, bed just seemed like the right answer. And I slept for 10.5 hours. Much needed.

Still really crampy, but I am going hiking with friends today and maybe lunch with them if I have time. But I need to get home and cleaned up to drive to another friend's for an early dinner so we'll see.

Not much else going on here. Funny how feeling yucky just takes over everything.

I do have to say that I was so glad when perimenopause was over. It was physically and emotionally draining for me. And exhausting at times as it sounds like it is for you.

Good job staying in normal BMI. I am about 3 pounds over so need to get my act in gear.

Can't wait for that part (not looking forward to the rest of it!). I get really dark mood/thoughts for a few days during too. And exhausted and in pain. It's awfully unpleasant!

We had another "atmospheric river" come through last night. Very much a non event - 1 inch of rain with some good wind gusts. It is headed towards Ceci now. But I do like rain at night. It interferes very little with my life. I do not like rain during the day with the dogs! Such first world problems.

My eating yesterday was pretty darn good, but naturally, the scale went up a pound. The rewards ought to be a little more immediate, don't you think?

My knee hurts to some degree 24/7 now. I am really hoping that my appointment with the doc is positive and moves me forward. Early this morning I woke up and couldn't find a position for my knee to relieve the ache. Booooooo....

This morning it dawned on me that I have lost sight of my focus of being "okay just as I am". I need to keep that focus. It is so important for my progress.

Also on the docket is pondering why weight loss and eating take up so much mental space. For the life of me I am in a conundrum managing the active dislike I have for being overweight married with the lack of action to lose weight - even the mental work around the eating disorder becomes exhausting and I put it to the side. I secretly wish that a JFDI attitude could work for me, or that magical thinking was really the answer. Luckily, I know those are no longer real options for me. But still.... the beat goes on.

I have enjoyed watching my normal weighted visitors eating habits the past week. The tall skinny husband (6'4" complaining about being "fat" at 215 pounds) eats what he likes, but knows precisely when he is full. He will even state things like, "Yup.... limit reached. I'm done." or my favorite, "Oh, I need to stop eating if I want dessert," and then last night's, "I ate too much. I was so looking forward to flan, but honey (to his wife) you go ahead and finish. I can't even manage a bite." The wife is a small asian woman from Singapore. She eats very slowly and LOVES food. She knows when she is not satisfied and what it will take to satisfy her. She considers herself "fat" by Singaporean/Asian standards, but admits for an "American" she is normal weighted and in better shape than most women her age. Quality of food is very important to her, so she doesn't eat much "junk". Her downfall is sugary soda. Going to try to learn some lessons about satiety awareness from my house guests.

Today is hump day for me. Tomorrow is the last day of the teaching week! Yay me.

Last dog show of the year this weekend, too. Then Goat v2.0 goes into the shop for its repair. Got the estimate and it's close to 17K. Thank God for good insurance! I'm getting a new AC unit out of it, too (the adjuster was not comfortable leaving it as is! Thank you sir!!!!), and maybe even a new rear camera. Hot diggity!

My aunt's favorite food related phrase was to declare "Elegant Sufficiency!" and put her fork down. The whole family uses it now...

Walked for an hour with Sadie and my sister this morning and a 90 minute massage this afternoon.

My brother is a retired restaurant owner and caterer, and is a FABULOUS chef. I have regained three pounds I lost after my cross country trip. He is morbidly obese and my SIL is overweight and has diabetes. I made stuffed peppers last week and will be doing shrimp stir fry tomorrow. Glad this temptation of his buttery comfort food is short term. Food definitely equals love for them !

I think food equals love for many people!

Food equals love. Yes, pretty ingrained in lots of us. It might do me well to think about all the other ways I can show love, including to myself, without food.

I got a ferocious headache today, still trying to get it under control. That's all I've got for today, tomorrow will be a new day, after I sleep this headache off.

Hope it passes soon!