Wednesday October 27, 2021

The weather on Cape Cod is apparently like a hurricane this morning. The regular power is out at my house though the generator is on. There are road closures all over the place. I am glad I am in Florida where the humidity has dissipated and it is beautiful this morning!

My golf clinic was good yesterday and my eating was healthy for the most part. Today Mike has a golf league and I am going to get my passport photos to renew it and maybe poke around in the stores in that area. Not much else on the agenda other than a definite walk for Justice.

Have a safe and healthy Wednesday!

At the airport for my flight home. Loved being with my family, but my middle cousin is the worst. Super insecure (my diagnosis) and so endlessly talks about money whether it relates to the conversation or not (his, his girlfriend's, his family's and anyone else's who crosses his line of vision). And at a volume 50 decibels louder than everyone else. Awful. I'm hoping to make it another 11 years without seeing him again!

I'm looking forward to being on my own for food without all the restaurants or having to cook for others. My quantities were good, but my choices weren't the best.

Hope everyone has a great day!

I think you are right about why some people talk about money and how "important" they are a lot.

As I walked this morning I was chewing over what the group has been talking about with respect to not feeling "good enough" as a child. I think I have tended to write off my teenage years because there were good family years before that. I had an intact, loving, well educated family. Than my father died when I was 12 and my mother started her drift into alcoholism. I was slightly buffered from it for a couple of years by my older brother until he died two years later and she really fell into a deep dark hole. She was lonely, grieving and angry at the same time so she took it out on me. Many things were my fault. And I was grieving and angry at what happened to my family too, but also angry at her for essentially leaving me and my younger brother to fend for ourselves. So many scenes that I still remember play in my head periodically. And those years were when I started binging on sweets and gaining weight. For comfort. Maybe acknowledging that this is what brought on my tendency to still do the same will help in the future?

Thank you guys for being our own mental health support group

My family was an intact, middle class, highly educated family, too. We looked great on the outside. I still believe my parents did the best they could, but my mom was a closet alcoholic and could be cruel with her words. For a long time I couldn't even acknowledge that my mom was less than perfect. I mean here was a woman who accepted me for exactly who I was (gay) and to whom I was very close. Sure, we had disagreements, but overall we had a strong relationship and I made 100% sure that I was there for her and with her until the very end. Being with her as she passed was my job and my promise to God. I could not let my Mama move on all alone.

It was many years later and a lot of therapy later that I was able to see that her cruel words left very deep scars. I have been angry with her sometimes and resentful. I don't hold her in the esteem I once did and that's okay. She was always my biggest critic, but only my occasional champion.

We all have our stuff.

Greetings Peeps and Peps

Yep we all have our stuff. I also grew up middle class with educated parents but my dad was absent a lot for business and my mom resented it and it showed. Mostly good parents but I too was cut very deeply by criticism. What kid is told they fail at initiative in the third grade? Add a mentally ill older brother with whom I ate competitively. Still I have learned to live with this stuff - my choice to move on - but it is the underpinnings of over eating.

I am really not overeating in quantity these days but just making bad choices. Cooking just does not appeal. Take out food not healthy. Maybe I can clean up my act if I get rid of this boot. Dr. apt next week.

Covid booster on the horizon. That will be good. Need to get the new shingles shot as well. Welcome to old age.

We have had needed rain here but no sign of the cyclone bomb that is reported on the news. Two weeks ago there was record drought and now rivers are full again. Hope the reservoirs are as well. Mostly I hope it stays dry for halloween or we are going to have a lot of wet candy. We have huge amounts from costco and I have not touched it. Yet.....

Take care all. Enjoy the sun, those of you who have it.

diane s

The weather on Cape Cod was like a hurricane last night and today. There is no power anywhere in my town (my home has a generator though). DS said two trees and my house lamplight are down. SIL is going over to my home so DS can cook as she has no power. But she has to be careful to avoid downed trees and power cords.

Today was the first meeting of the Tabletop Gaming Club. (Dungeons and Dragons, Pokemon, board games etc) I'm the faculty advisor. They gleefully greeted each other with, welcome to the nerd club! Fun group of kids, I'm happy to provide a place for this particular tribe to gather.

Raining here, but nothing like what's happening on the East Coast.

DH rearranged the garage so I can park in it. A sure sign of fall's imminent demise. Another example that not all romantic gestures are flowers or jewelry. Not having to scrape windshield in the morning ~ priceless.

Get Scrabble if you don't have it. I think there is some kind of Scrabble in the Schools program. North American Scrabble Players Association or some such thing. There are tournaments. Good clean fun.

Yay garage space!!! ds