Wednesday, October 13, 2021

Hey all, not much to report, but thought I'd get us started.

The scale is up again, carbs and salt and some extra calories I imagine.

The weather is starting to cool. It was a long, warm summer.

A walk is likely in the cards today as well as some errands and tidying.

Hope everyone has a great day!

I am still afraid of the scale but it is day 3 of eating wisely while not tracking (and not feeling hungry). My target to weigh will be next Wednesday then I may just do it weekly. Amazing how a couple of days of long, sweaty walks and smart eating can reduce bloat. Just by a bit but I can feel it. Or it may be mental but that works too at this point. I was so proud of myself: I threw away an almost full package of cookies and a large package of potato chips. Mike was a little upset about the chips but I really need the temptation gone.

Another sunny day so we are at the beach club lounging and listening to music. Can't beat it! And Justice is thrilled with his longer walks: three miles in the morning and around the block in the afternoon and early evening.

Have a safe and healthy Wednesday!

Well, I am feeling a tad old today. Doctor is thinking my knee is just wearing out. He couldn't feel any tendon or ligament issues, but I am not convinced that this is an arthritis or degenerative joint issue. The knee feels weak and unstable. However, I did receive a cortisone injection in my knee to help with the inflammation and pain. It will take a few days for the injection to work its magic. Still wearing a brace and am not supposed to do any lower body workouts for a while. If I get no relief from the injection, then the picture taking process begins.

Good news from yesterday is that even with my "White Coat Fever" my BP read 140/75 on the first reading. That's doable.

I'm really in an odd place mentally/emotionally. Lots of tapes are playing, I think. I am frustrated. I am somewhat down about myself - which we all know I cycle through on occasion. Broken record.... I also get judgmental about the broken record issues, too.... I don't understand the inability to move towards real significant weight loss. A big fear I have about revision surgery is that I will fail all over again. I'm just feeling kind of done with all of it. I'm really on the edge - teetering. Thankfully, I have a sense of self deprecating humor about the whole thing.

Not much else. Literally just limping along.....

Just to note, I think you're awesome just as you are. You're a genuinely good person, very caring toward others, give great advice, handsome, you love dogs and are very talented at breeding/raising//grooming/showing them, you can get and keep the attention of a room full of EIGHT year olds, you take care of yourself through exercise and can lift many more times what I could ever do... your weight is frankly the least noteworthy thing about you. Looking at your pictures I would NEVER say that guy has a weight problem.

I'm sorry about your knee! Replacement can be life changing if it comes to that. Maybe Shirley can talk to you about her experience...

Thank you. You are very kind. I get all that stuff. I do. It's the physical **** that gets in my way....

Yep Ditto what Cecily said. You rock as a human being Peps. Hope you can get some knee help. DS

Ditto what Cecily said!

I just had such a nice lunch! I went to take a package to the post office and they were closed for an hour for lunch, so I thought what the heck, I'll go to this little coffee sandwich place in town. I have rarely ever in my life eaten in restaurants by myself. So I had to psych myself up to get out of the car. I went in and I recognized a car out front belonging to the guy who is building a house at the end of our street and has been for 5 years (!). I'd briefly met him 5 years ago on the road and didn't think he was very friendly. Anyway, the lady who owns the place was chatting with him and he seemed really nice so I piped up from my table that I think we're neighbors. We had so much fun chatting for almost an hour. He was funny and self-deprecating and very easy to talk to.

So this is just to remind myself that nice things can happen when you break out of your routine...

PS - the breakfast burrito was awful and I am totally okay with that.

Yes, the burrito isn't so important if you had good social interaction!

Love your lunch story Cecily! Liz, Mike doesn't know it, but you did him a favor tossing the chips. :) Peps, agree with everything that Cecily and Liz said. Hoping you find some peace with the tapes playing their erroneous messages.

I am only fun on the weekends, maybe. I leave work so depleted. Tonight we had conferences, so I was in the building by 7:15am, and left at 7:30pm. Parents brought dinner. You can imagine the carnage.

I feel so sad a lot of the time. My daughter suggested I consider an anti depressant. I'm pro pharmaceutical, and I took Prozac for 6 months in my 30s. It helped a lot. I don't think I want to right now though. I am mulling over seeing a therapist. Or maybe I should, instead of treating my sadness with food. A few things to sort through.