Tuesday, August 31, 2021

I have been thinking about Peps new approach to food. It seems that he is learning to not let cravings control him which I think is key to most of us. Our VSG gives us some element of portion control but as we all know we can graze past that especially if we let our cravings take hold. That's when we eat because we want something not because we are hungry. Though I am 20 pounds up again, I have been maintaining at this level fairly easily for a couple of months. I think it is partially because I have been mindful of what Peps is learning. I pay attention to when I am full, try not to eat unless I am really hungry, but try to not feel deprived. I know I still need to drink more water, but I think if I went back to some leaner meals I actually could lose though slowly. Which is not a bad way to do it.

I am not sure what the plan is today. Possibly the beach at Mike's if the sun stays out (it is looking a bit cloudy now). We are supposed to get the remnants of Hurricane Ida late tomorrow into Thursday so those will be washout days. Friday should be decent but Mike is golfing so he feels he would miss out on the beach. His choice though.

Have a safe and healthy Tuesday!

"Peps' new approach to food..." Not gonna lie.... I loved reading that. I hadn't really thought of it that way because it is an ever evolving process with me and my dysfunction with food and eating. I do still very much get cravings, but they are different from the way they once were. I haven't had an uncontrollable urge for a very long time. I think a big reason for that is because NOTHING IS OFF LIMITS anymore. Some foods have higher value emotionally than others and some foods have higher value for nutrition and satiety than others. I am also committed to listening to appetite cues.

An example of an appetite cue: I had a package of GNC overnight oats in the cupboard. I made them Sunday night for Monday morning. I ate the oats yesterday and it triggered an appetite for my favorite oatmeal breakfast: oats, wild blueberries, chopped pecans. Last night I put that breakfast together to take to school. It was a wonderful meal. Totally low protein and not what I would generally strive for, but the bulk, fiber, flavor and moderate fat from the nuts was just perfect for both emotional and physical satiety.

Yesterday's workout was all legs. It was fun using some machines I haven't used in over 18 months. Did my normal single leg deadlifts, Roman Deadlifts, but then went to machines. I did leg presses at 270 pounds, leg extensions and curls and benched hip thrusts with a barbell. My legs were downright wobbly by the end. I'm already a tad sore, so I think it will hit big time tomorrow.

It is my brother's last day of work today. He is retiring and leaving the practice at which he has been a partner for the past 25 years. He is delighted to be out of the rat race of billable hours, bonuses, litigation, etc.... He's been over it for about 3 years, but was waiting to retire until the Affordable Care Act could be relied upon to provide medical insurance for him until he's 65.

I am now the only member of my close circle of family and friends that is still gainfully employed. My BFF, Auntie Kathryn, Ron, my brother, my dad are all retired. Sucks to always be the youngest! LOL! But, really I'm not ready to retire anyhow.

I read about the school bus driver shortage in DD's area. If it's any consolation, we haven't had school bus service in most California districts for 40 years or more. I grew up without it, too. Interesting how in some areas school busses are a given provided service and in others have been non existent for decades, or were never a provided service at all.

I am going to encourage us all to keep up the daily posting - even when we have little to say. For me staying connected to a group of people who accept my eating disorder and dysfunction and recovery process (slow as molasses sometimes) is comforting and highly beneficial.

Hugs to all!

Yes, Pep's new approach to food. I love it! I like the idea of being kind to ourselves, by feeding ourselves properly. When we are caring for other living things, pets, children, our elderly, we don't think it's loving to feed them non nutritious foods. Sure, its fun to allow for some treats, but my babies ate fruits and vegetables, and milk and eggs and yogurt. I need to care for myself the way I cared for them.

The crucible that is workshop week is once again melting and reshaping me. Open House is tomorrow, and with so many people angry about equity work and mask policies I am feeling a bit apprehensive.

The infection numbers in our district are now high enough to trigger mask mandated in preschool through grade 8. The threshold for high school is higher, because students are eligible for vaccination. If we reach that threshold, yikes! I don't think we will.

Today I ate my cottage cheese and blueberries for breakfast, and then I had a Greek salad for lunch. Around 3, I was really tempted to buy a treat. I was hungry, so I polished off the rest of the blueberries. So, it wasn't initially planned, but I had lunch around 11, so I guess it was reasonable that I would be hungry. Anyhow, much better choice than something from the vending machine. And look what diet mentality can do, make you second guess eating fresh blueberries! I will call it a win.