Sunday, August 29, 2021

I married my DH 34 years ago today. I met him just shy of my 22nd birthday. Sometimes life can be hard, but he has always been the easy the part.

Thinking of you Liz, on your 40th wedding anniversary to Paul. It was a good day to get married.

Yesterday I restocked the fridge and cupboards with good food. There were some Keto Crackers at Costco that looked promising, so I bought a bag. When I had some I was mad. They're too good!!! They were supposed to be just tolerable right? Instead, they are yummy, so I will have to exercise some portion control.

We were enjoying a glass of wine on the porch after dinner (and DH also enjoying a cigar), and our neighbors were out in their front yard. They ended up joining us, and we talked for a few hours. We used to know a lot of our neighbors because when we first moved here, we were all young families. Over the years, houses were sold, kids grew up, and we didn't really know anybody but the neighbors on either side. These are relatively new neighbors, it's been nice to get to know them.

Today's plans are read the paper, make some lunches for the coming week, a quick visit with DHs sister who is recovering from her implant surgery (hopefully the last cancer related surgery for her) and then out to dinner.

Tomorrow, more workshop days, getting ready for what this school year will bring.

Happy Anniversary DD and Liz!

The smoke and heat have been just awful for three days. Friday and Saturday were quite nasty. Today I awoke to clear skies. It's already in the mid 80s, so it will be hot today, but at least the air feels clean. We do need some cooler weather to help with fire management!

Here's my latest revelation - part 1: Being in a calorie deficit will cause hunger. I know, sort of a "duh", but such an important piece of information for me. One of the triggers of my eating disorder is hunger. Real, true, I need to eat type of hunger usually only happens to me during periods of food restriction, aka dieting. Sure sometimes I do feel real hunger when I am not on a diet for one reason or another, but those times are few and far between. Dieting has caused hunger that is not allowed to be satisfied, or when it is often not adequately satisfied.

Revelation -part 2: I don't want to be hungry. Why? The reasons listed above are emotional triggers and being hungry too often causes a lot of my eating disordered behaviors to come out to play.

So, part 1 + part 2 = I am currently okay at this weight. As a matter of fact, I can say that RIGHT NOW (may change tomorrow) I am okay with what I weigh and how I look. As DD pointed out, my body is strong and pretty darn capable. That is worth a lot to me!

Yesterday I grappled with whether or not I'm ready to be hungry. I have no answer yet. Still grappling.

Oh, another thought I'm trying to relearn: Sugar causes inflammation vs. sugar is bad. Fact vs. opinion.

Lots to do today - groom, clean the inside of the RV (hopefully Friday will be pick up day for the new rig), and school work. Oh, and grocery shopping. I need to do what Diamond D did!

Happy Sunday!

I don't like sitting with real, actual hunger. Sometimes it hits during school, and its not a time I can stop and eat something. I reflexively think, oh, I'm so hungry probably every couple of minutes, until I can finally eat. I also know, that if I have to ride it out, it will stop for awhile. But that, I'm so hungry panicky message is much louder and persistent. Something to think about, I'm assuming nobody with normal food issues likes to be hungry (real hunger), and will want to eat in response to hunger. But why is mine packaged with a sense of panic? Hmmm...

I love your thoughts about living with where you are at right now. Enjoy your strength, your mobility, and your expertise.

PS - Cece, hope you are not having too much pre trip stress and anxiety!

Agreed! Its a lot to get ready for! What an awesome time you'll have.

Happy Anniversary DD! Yes, it was a good day to get married. DH was so happy that we were married so long and felt that we were mostly very lucky. And he was right - most of those years were good ones.

Thats nice that you met your neighbors. I enjoy knowing mine and hope that can happen at Mike's place in Florida. He was more of a loner previously but is willing to go to neighborhood gatherings etc.

I didn't want to sit home and stew today so we are currently waiting for the boat to Martha's Vineyard for the afternoon. We parked a street over from the ferry at my friends house so with a 1/2 hour boat ride it is easy to do. We will eat an early dinner there and catch the last ferry back.

Have a safe and healthy Sunday!

I am an extroverted introvert :) I use up a lot of my extrovert tendencies at school, so I am cautious about how much socializing I want to do with neighbors. But these people are really great, and in our many chats standing in the yard, clearly have good boundaries, so I think getting to know them better is a great idea.

I've never been to Martha's Vineyard or Nantucket on my many trips to Massachusetts. I've only been to the Cape once, back in 2007. We stayed in Provincetown, and had a great time. I want to see those islands and also meet up with you on the Cape. We have so many plans for DHs first summer of retirement, but one we are tossing around is renting a little something near my Aunt in Ipswich for a month. Who knows if it will come to fruition, but its nice to dream.

I would love to meet you!

Mike grew up in Massachusetts but he had never been to the islands nor to Newport RI which is close by. I took him to MV the first time for his birthday a year ago, we went to Newport on a day trip a few weeks ago, and we are going to Nantucket for a couple of days for his birthday this year.

The concert was fun last night, but so loud! Honestly, you couldn't appreciate their obvious musical talent because the loudness and ear pain overrode everything else. Does this mean I've reached some new threshold of advanced adulthood?

A guy I met at a party a month or two ago came with us. He's the son of childhood friends of my dad?s wife. When I was explaining how he came to be joining us at the concert to my friend, my friend said "are you really this dumb? He likes you." I think I REALLY am that dumb. Because I don't see it! Here's the backstory. We met at that first party and chatted a bit. He asked if I was going to an upcoming party at my neighbors. I hadn't been invited, and said I hadn't heard about it. Later, I get invited by the neighbors and found out at that party that he asked them to invite me. I figured he felt bad about telling me to come to a party I wasn't invited to and was fixing it. Last week he called me and asked if I wanted to be on a committee for a local non-profit he's president of this year (he's a lawyer). We got to talking about concerts at Interlochen (he remembered the first time we met was right before I saw Harry Connick), I mentioned we were going last night and later that day he got a ticket right in front of us and and asked if he could ride with us. This morning he texted to invite me to go hiking today. While I can see why my friend thinks I'm dumb, I sense absolutely zero interest from him while we're around each other. He just keeps popping up. I think he's just being nice as a friend since non-senior citizen single people to do stuff with are not plentiful in a town of 410 people... So it's that or I'm obtuse and we're both just so socially awkward nothing will come of it! Even if it's just someone to do things with up here, that's awesome.

The packing stress is creeping in, but manageable. I panic bought a bunch of stuff from Nordstrom, but have been procrastinating trying it on. Must do so so I can return what doesn't fit! It'll be in the mid 60s while I'm there. Sounds heavenly.

Eating has been better the last few days. I imagine as someone who overeats in private, I'll likely do well at my friend's house in September. Raiding someone else's kitchen seems to cross a boundary for me.

I hope you?re all well. Happy anniversaries DD and Liz!

I will not go so far as to call you dumb, but a lot of signs of interest are evident in the scenario you presented. And wouldn't it be loverly if two socially awkward people found each other and happiness ensued? Whether you want to see it or not, you are a very attractive woman and a hell of a catch. Mustn't sell yourself short. If he's mentioned getting together upon your return to Michigan, ummmm.... I think he likes you likes you!