Tuesday August 24, 2021

Having a kitchen full of furniture DOES reduce snacking, LOL. I only have healthy snacks in the fridge and all the crackers are inaccessible. Not to mention that preparing anything is a major ordeal. I also drank a lot more water yesterday because it was hot outside and I was hungry. My knees are quite sore from crawling under my table to be able to reach the coffeemaker and microwave. Two days until the furniture is returned to the living room!

I had a great visit yesterday with two friends who I met in my Alzheimer's support groups and both became widows the same year I did. One of them is seriously dating a widower who was also in our support group and is the greatest guy. Apparently the "L" word has been exchanged. We are so happy for both of them. Our most recent widow is doing well but finds herself pulling away from the all couples group she and her DH used to spend a lot of time with. She says she feels like she has a broken wing when she is with them. But she is doing all the right things, volunteering at museums and getting out to play cards. She also joined a singles group in town. She is in her mid-70's and very smart, funny and attractive. It is interesting how all three of us fairly independent women (even more independent during the last 5 years of our husband's lives) are interested in having a new life partner. I think it is because we all had strong marriages and before illness had expected to spend our last years with someone. We are willing to look for that person rather than just waiting out the days.

Today Mike and I are meeting his oldest childhood friend and his wife for lunch on the harbor. They are coming to my house to meet us. Weird that I can only let them into the sunroom. Fish is on the menu for lunch.

Have a safe and healthy Tuesday!

Liz, When my MIL died very suddenly, my husband read a few things about being widowed. The year after a spouse dies, there is a big up tick in mortality of the surviving spouse. And a study that reported what you surmised: statistically, people *****port having had a happy marriage are more likely to want to marry again. It makes sense. If you had an unhappy marriage, maybe you'd be more inclined to think, been there done that, no thanks. My FIL did not follow these statistical conventions, he did also die young (63) but 3years after he was widowed. He did date, but very cautiously. it was so hard to see him so lonely. DH feels he would have lived longer if he had been able to let himself have a new relationship. Maybe. When our friends are distressed about their surviving parent dating "too soon", he tells them about how he wished his Dad would have.

We are having a glorious thunderstorm. Its been raining for hours. Yesterday, our famous Minnehaha Falls was completely dry! Hopefully this storm will return some splash to the falls.

School tomorrow, but no students until after Labor Day.

Eating yesterday, not so good. We went out for a patio lunch. First time to this restaurant. I discovered that they had very inventive ****tails and such a reasonable price! Oh well, no time for sipping ****tails on a leaf covered patio all afternoon come tomorrow.

For those of us whose spouses had dementia we had already lost them at least a few years before so I think it makes it easier for us to continue living after their final death.

That makes sense. I think my FIL struggled so, because he never dreamed he would outlive her. She literally dropped dead in the living room after church, (fell over on the couch where she was reading the paper in front of him) with no previous health warnings at the age of 60. It was like a car wreck or other accident, so unexpected, so sudden. Maybe if he had lived longer than 3 more years, he might have moved past the trauma.

Oh, a couple more things, Peps thanks for the article about weight loss after 60. Question, do you use any of the resistance machines when you work out? I've never really done free weights, just the machines. I need to think about using them. Right noe I'm doing my little workout with just body weight. But since I need to do some of the modified moves, there is still room for strength building here, just musing about future plans.

Yesterday my supervisor asked if I could teach another period. We are short one full-time teacher in our department, so they're asking several of us if we want to move from 1.0 to 1.2. So this means I will be paid .2 more of my current salary. Its a decent pay bump. I have to give up my prep! (When will I use the bathroom?) but I think it will be okay. I was already teaching one section of the class being added, so I don't have a another new class to prep for. I may be crying about my workload this winter, but I'm looking forward to the extra $, and I was coveting that other section anyhow. If I have all 3 of them (which I now do) I can really run with them.

I do use resistance machines and cable machines in addition to the free weights. Both have benefits and draw backs and a place in everyone's strength training. If you would like suggestions for specific muscle groups let me know. There are some machines and free weight moves that can be compromising to joints, so if you have joint concerns, please include that for me to consider.

In general, I think that as we age we need to consider stability/balance, strength, and flexibility. Many programs forget that building and strengthening connective tissue is equally as important as doing the same for muscles!

Also, very important to know is that when you begin to workout again you should always do a full body workout. Don't "part out" until you have a basic strength level. You also want to stay away from isolation exercises that will make you overly sore in one muscle. Example is instead of doing tricep presses which isolate triceps, do pull overs which work triceps, chest, abs, shoulders, working a total of 7 muscles, plus stabilizers. Much more efficient and spreads the exercise around your whole upper body. While a bit harder, you will get much more bang for your buck, so to speak. Make sense?

Yes, right now the small workout I'm doing is a whole body routine. Parts of me are weaker than others, (ex: my left glutes) and it was throwing off the mechanics of how I walk, which led to pain and made me not want to walk. But I need to walk both for practical and leisure reasons. So my initial goal is to get those glutes firing again, and increase my core strength and balance. Whole body seems to be the way to go. I can feel some changes already, its easier to go up the stairs when my hands are full and I can't rely on the handrail to help propel me.

Glute work is TOUGH, but so essential. If you want to work on core strengthening and your glutes at the same time, dry Roman Dead Lifts while holding a broom handle. I'm happy to send you a video of how to do it, if you need it. It's one of those really big bang for your buck moves and so, so good for increasing flexibility without feeling uncomfortable or awkward.

One of my current goals is to be able to do a single leg Roman Dead Lift on a Bosu ball. I'm not even close, but I am working on it! In my trainer's works it's a total "chick" move - meaning it's harder for men and most men hate it. So now I'm even more determined to reach the goal.

When I first started working out after WLS I had a goal in mind. I wanted to be able to lie down on the floor, flat on my back and get up to a standing position without using my hands to support me. I didn't try to do it for a very, very long time, but then one day I knew it was time. I made the attempt, and though it wasn't graceful I did do it. I still check every few months to make sure I can still do it. Now it's a pretty easy one fell swoop move - even as big as I am.

I love that you are noticing important things like going up the stairs. It's that kind of stuff that fitness is really about. Do you have any goals you would like to achieve through fitness?

My DH is overweight, but very fit, he has a lot of upper body strength and works at a job where he is on his feet all day. He can walk for hours and hours. Part of my reason for surgery was me, sitting on benches, while he climbed scenic paths, towers etc. I wanted to go with him but I couldn't. After my surgery, I did keep up with him (well enough, he slows his pace for me), to climb up and across mountain hiking trails in Italy, all over the up and down stairs of public transportation in cities like New York and Chicago, walk around the lakes in Minneapolis, up a pyramid in Mexico... but now I'm moving less because of the painful mechanics (I think brought on by not moving much at all during a Covid winter), and the weight I've gained. So I guess my goal is, if someone says, oh it's a little over a mile, shall we walk, to say, happily, oh sure, like I used to, instead of thinking, I hope this doesn't hurt too much. And, more movement and strength would be good for my bone density. Wow, this is really good to be thinking about. I am 60, and what I do in the next few years is really going to impact the quality of my remaining life. I need to do this. (Picture ton of brick****ting my head).

Yesterday was a good day! I always enjoy good days!

I had a killer chest workout. I worked out for over an hour and every move involved my chest. I rarely fatigue out a muscle group, but I did yesterday. I'm waiting for the soreness to hit. So far just normal soreness. It's kind of sick that I now love getting sore. LOL!

Therapy session was good, too. I am aware that the boundaries I am creating in my life are a wonderful form of self care. Saying "No" is okay. Also, being angry and open about feeling upset or angry isn't earth shattering. Anger can be mildly uncomfortable, but it's doable. The best thing about feeling negative feelings is that dealing with the real feeling curbs emotional eating - at least for me. Win, win....

I am beginning to experience school appetite. I think being more mindful these days has made it a quick catch this year. School appetite is mostly stress related, but can also be celebratory or energy related. Having a sleeve amplifies my school appetite. Unlike bypass surgery, sleeve surgery creates a high pressure gastric system in which our stomachs empty more rapidly than normal. There is good and bad in that. The "bad" for me is that my stomach empties rapidly enough to accommodate eating every hour or two, if I'm so inclined. Most of the time I'm able to manage 3 hours of no eating between lunch and afternoon snack. But sometimes afternoon snack is actually afternoon grazing. I'll eat something after school and then again something about an hour or hour and a half after I get home. I think I need a little more cupboard therapy this week! Yesterday's grazing looked like this:

after school @ 3pm: granola bar, small apple

Home @ 4pm: dry roasted peanuts, beef jerky, small coke zero

Post workout 7pm: protein shake, more peanuts....

So, not really bad when it's written down, but a lot of calories (roughly 700-800) that maybe my body didn't need? Anyhow, something to ponder.