Friday, August 6, 2021

Today is the day that the reality of this years regain is going to hit me in the face. I see my WLS surgeon for my annual checkup. I not only have true regain, but my new BP med causes swelling in my legs and feet (think cankles). I don't know if I will be less depressed if I weigh before I go or wait to see what it is in the office. Regardless I am going to hate the discussion to be held about it. And having finally gotten over my funk from Wednesday I am worried that today will put me back into that feeling.

DD is here for the wedding Sunday. She told me last night that she and her BF are discussing getting married and talking about engagement rings. Hmmm... they have been together 6 months vs. Mike and my year. But I don't want to dwell on that.

My friend had his cardiac catheterization yesterday. As some of us feared, it showed that he suffered massive damage to his heart during his heart attack and cardiac arrest 3 weeks ago. If his heart wasn't so weak he would be undergoing bypass surgery. Instead they are doing a nuclear stress test today to determine if he can tolerate stent placement. They think that putting in 5 stents and managing him on medication will give him some more time. But hearts don't heal and we don't even know if he will ever be able to get into his home on a hill. The steps may be too much for him. Possibly he may need to live in his Florida house if not with family members. Yes, life is short. Way too short sometimes.

Have a safe and healthy Friday!

So sorry for your friend's news. He is still here, but his life is irrevocably changed.

Engagements are a funny thing. I met my husband when I was 22, got engaged when I was 25, and married when I was 26 (and had our first baby when I was 31). We both agree that we knew we would marry each other the first year we were dating, DH is cautious about big life changes, I'm more, it will all work out, let's do it! I have friends who married their 2nd husband very quickly, because, as you point out Liz, life is short. I have other friends who live in a committed relationship with children who look like they will never marry.

Parties and social anxiety: I can be both introverted and extroverted. I don't always have the courage to attend events by myself, like a colleagues retirement party, even though I am bound to know people from work there. It's like I have people in categories, you are someone I really enjoy socializing with at work, but outside of work I feel shy with them. So every party/event you attend Cecily impresses me.

Peps, you are creating your own paradise. How wonderful.

Diane, it's hard to understand old mores, that someone would ask you, a trained, practicing attorney what your husband does. Ugh. Hello, don't need a husband to be a person, and don't need to talk about a husband's career if you do have one. Women can actually talk about their own lives.

There is a lot going on here to get ready for my birthday party tomorrow. I vascilate between thinking I wish I hadn't agreed to it vs. looking forward to it. I'm sure I'll have fun. Last night we played with the karaoke set up we bought for the party. That alone was fun! I initially thought not many would be able to come, now it looks like there will be around 40, so a respectable turn out. Biggest anxiety creator right now: scattered showers predicted. We are in a severe drought, so go figure the night we want to have an outdoor party, the only rain in the last 4 weeks is predicted for tomorrow night.

Food, well, dang. Trying not to be completely off the rails...

Liz, do you think they might put you on another bp medication? Retaining water seems counterintuitive for blood pressure treatment.

I hear you on the water retention. Unfortunately the medication causing it seems to have done some good and it is the fourth class of drugs we have tried.

I also have friends and family all over the place about the need for marriage. At my age there are pros and cons for all choices. But I think the problem is that I won't feel like it is a permanent relationship unless we are married. Somewhere in my little brain is something that keeps making me feel that he doesn't want to marry me so he can leave whenever he wants. Another part thinks that maybe because his 25 year former marriage broke up he no longer trusts the institution of marriage. If the latter is the case I will have to decide if I can be satisfied with what to me is a less than fully secure relationship.

He definitely does NOT look like a man with one foot out the door. In the last few months you have further combined your lives, and your future plans involve being together even more ...

I agree DD, but that niggling little sort of sub-conscious me wants a binding contract, LOL.

Fascinating how you view marriage as relationship "security". Marriage was never, until recently, an option for me, therefore marriage has never been a symbol of security for me. But, that's beside the point....

"...that he doesn't want to marry me so he can leave whenever he wants," made me immediately think, "Ah, so marriage is the trap from which there is no escape." I'd avoid that scenario, too!!!!! LOL!

(Hope you know, I'm just poking fun.....)

You can poke fun anytime Devon! I need to laugh!

Trust me, marriage does not make a relationship secure... it celebrates a secure relationship.

Good point!