VSG Maintenance Group
08/05/21, Thursday
Good morning ! I'll take a turn starting us off ! DD, sorry to hear your mom is having difficulty. Ceci, when do you head back to CA ... before or after England ? Peps, remember self care as you near the opening of school! Diane, filters for the galleries sounds like an excellent idea !! Shirl, you are our energizer bunny for sure ! Liz, I saw your FB post and wondered if something happened. So sorry you were disappointed. BB, where are you ?
Well, experiencing a pandemic, in two totally opposite in every way states, it is clear that we need to step up as individuals and as interdependent humans to beat this thing. The total disregard for facts and science is astounding. I am still planning on leaving for NY next week, but I now want to be tested before I see my mother. I just can't take a chance. Off to be walked by Sadie before it rains.
Age: 64; 5' 5"; High weight: 345; Start weight: 271 (01/05/15); Surgery weight: 218 (05/27/15); Pre-Op (-53); M 1 (-18); M 2 (-1.5); M 3 (-13.5 ); M 4 (-13); M 5 (- 8); M 6 (-12) M 7 (-5, Xmas); M 8 (- 9) Under surgeon's goal and REACHED HEALTHY BMI 12/07/15!! (Six months and one week.) AT GOAL month 8. Maintaining at goal range (139- 144) ~ four (4) years !!
Yes, apparently testing is still needed when vaccinated. We definitely don't want to transmit an asymptomatic case to someone at risk. Florida is a different world sometimes isn't it?
I guess I am over my disappointment from yesterday. I was being unrealistic. The day had other unrelated frustrations so they kind of piled together. Rain and gloom don't help.
My friend is finally having a cardiac catheterization today. That means his kidney function is better. Fingers and toes crossed that there will be some treatment to help avoid another heart attack and that his heart is strong enough to get him back on his feet.
DD arrives this afternoon in advance of the wedding on Sunday. That will be a good day. I hope the weather is good for them. At least the forecast is for dry weather right now.
Have a safe and healthy Thursday!
Liz 5'3" HW: 219 SW: 185 GW: 125 LW: 113 Desired maintenance range: 120-125 CW: 119ish
The wedding venue where we partied this weekend requested that everyone do a rapid test before the event, regardless of vaccination status. You can buy a kit at CVS. It has 2 tests, if you use both a couple days apart, you should have accurate information. Peps also had access to an at home test, but I'm not sure the name. Anyhow, I liked the CVS ones, because I can control when I get the results. (15 minutes).
My Mom is in the stage of life review now, and she's crying and crying while she tells her stories. She is grieving the losses of what will never be again. Some stories, I really don't want to hear, but I guess I'm going to. Yesterday one was about something that was probably a sad, dark day for my Grandpa. He's been gone many years, but it still hurt me to hear about his hurt. A couple weeks ago, she wouldn't let me clean anything, now she wants me to come and purge. I will probably start that project next week.
My eating is not good. I'll try to be reasonable today.
on 8/5/21 1:29 pm
Things have been uncomfortable here after my meltdown yesterday. I deleted my post because I started to second guess myself, which is a feeling I often get when I stand up for myself and then wish I hadn't because it's way more uncomfortable than just keeping it to myself when I'm upset. Terrible message, but the truth of what I end up feeling every time. Mostly, I just feel like an afterthought, invisible, or a spare wheel in so much of my life. But it's no one's responsibility to make me feel otherwise...
Apparently I have a threshold of upset above which eating does not sound good and below which I eat everything in sight. This fell above the line, so food has been "good" the last two days.
I was invited to a ****tail party tonight next door for people my age and younger. I'm dreading it like you would not believe, but I know I can't continue to feel this lonely and pass up opportunities to practice being around others. I am fine around older people. Around my own age cohort, I'm a big anxious overheating, face sweating mess and end up dissecting and beating myself up over every word I said or what I wore or what I did for literally YEARS after a party, making my dread of each subsequent gathering exponentially worse. I'm still not over picking myself apart for the last party of theirs I went to in August 2019. Social anxiety is awful. But declining to go is a different kind of beating myself up hell for not being brave enough to try. I can't begin to understand people who look forward to parties! They're like an alien species to me.
Anyway, I should go shower and agonize over what to wear...
Liz, I'm sorry you were disappointed! Shirl, I just don't know what to say about your lockdowns. It sounds dreadful. DianeO, I'll leave for the UK from here and come back before heading to CA.
Yesterday I did something I have never ever done - I spent two hours in whole sale nursery and picked plants for my new landscaping with reckless abandon and no thought about money. I picked 5 trees in 25 gallon pots! OMG! But I am choosing favorites and am absolutely delighting in my new eclectic California cottage/prairie garden.
I came back from the Oregon trek with massively swollen ankles and calves. I decided not to weigh on Tuesday, but weighed yesterday to find I was up an entire pound for the 12 days of travel. That is fine by me, especially since I still had swelling.
Interesting that I had moments of feeling really good about my body and moments of feeling really FAT. What I mind the most is that I don't feel as agile as I would like and also that the me I see reflected back at myself in the mirror or photos isn't always the same person I FEEL myself to be. Not sure if that makes sense or not.... I'm just surprised sometimes by what I see. Yesterday I asked a friend to remove a photo of me she posted on FB. I found the picture so unflattering I couldn't bear it!
My new obsession is upgrading GOAT. After 12 days straight of dog shows, we learned that as much as we both love GOAT, we need something with a little more put our feet up room. Sitting at the dinette goes only so far when you really want to stretch your legs and recline! Anyhow, I'm having fun researching possibilities.
I am having trouble returning to masked life. Once again in my county we are mandated to wear masks in all public indoor settings (stores, restaurants, malls, etc....). I was just really feeling like life here was returning to a modicum of normalcy and then, WHAM! Covid is on the uptick with a vengeance. At least it's not like in Florida! While there will be no social distancing requirements for students and teachers when we return to school next week, everyone (vaccinated or not) will be required to wear a mask inside school buildings. Boooooooooooo...... But again, understandable.
Nice to be back....
