Tuesday, May 4, 2021

Countdown to leaving Florida: 2 more days. My darn car isn't starting and I think it is the battery. I may just wait until the fall to replace it so the new battery isn't sitting here unused for 5 months. We have Mike's 2 cars here anyway (one to store here and the other to drive home in).

Today is Mike and my 9 month anniversary. It seems both longer and shorter as life has changed so much this year with him. We are going to Captiva Island for the mid-part of the the day to celebrate.

Tomorrow is work day - I have my closing checklist ready.

Have a safe and healthy day!

I am feeling off today. I think the upcoming changes in the district are upsetting me on a base/core belief level. It is not a new phenomena, so I will deal. I guess because the Arts have been such an integral part of my existence, it is hard to agree with even a minor devaluation of Arts instruction. I know I am in the minority. Anyhow, I have decided that it is not worth my energy or efforts to question the direction the district chooses to go. Social Emotional Learning and STEM (an acronym for Science, Technology, Engineering, Math) are the foci of education these days at the exclusion to most everything else. Oh, yes, I forgot and everyone is a brilliant reader and should be trained to be an author. We KNOW that all children can excel in EVERYTHING and EVERY CHILD is college bound. And that there, ladies, is a core problem with the educational system today.

Had a session with the shrink yesterday. Was fine. No big whoop. I am thinking I really do want to level off to a monthly session. I'd rather spend the money on training! LOL, but it's true.

I had a lot of impulsive eating yesterday. I decided to list my stressors yesterday to see if that might have impacted my eating. Here is the list I came up with for stress triggers for yesterday:

1. reduction of art and music instruction for next year
2. plumbing issue - smelling sewage, called plumber, no appointments until May 11th.
3. scheduling house painter estimate meeting
4. nailing down landscaper on materials and estimated start date
5. Therapy (carving out the hour in the day)
6. School Board meeting (all 2.5 hours of it.... UGH...)
7. SUPER late dinner because of School Board meeting.

When I looked at my list, I realized that while those may just be niggly things, they add up. Made sense to me that I felt compelled to stress eat. I had a lot of my plate yesterday.

PTO is bringing in a catered Mexican food lunch today. Hope it's good and has some healthy-ish options.

Weight 186.6

I had another binge last night after I thought I was home free, having eaten well for the day and gotten in bed to read. I had my therapist yesterday and we were talking about my bingey weekend and she wanted to know the whys behind my binging on carbs. It's so hard to put my finger on the whys. I can sort of explain that it's a bit like the devil on my shoulder pushing me to do it. Later I tried journaling and that boiled it down to me and my life feeling really empty and being compelled to fill it, even if that's temporarily with food. Loneliness, lack of purpose, lack of connection and fear of failing at trying to fix those things. Daunting. Overwhelming.

We also talked about how stopping my walking (not intentionally, but it happened after my second shot and I haven't started again), doesn't help. Self-care and good health decisions beget more good health decisions. So I have to restart that today.

My plans for today were canceled, so lots of time to think! And maybe clean my garage while I'm at it? No promises...

Hope you all have good days.

More excellent musings. Peps, I love the idea of listing what is stressing me out. You're so correct, sometimes it's the accumulation of minor stressors. I've compared this year to walking around with pebbles in my shoes. Is it irritating? Yes. Distracting. Yes. Have I dealt with worse? Yes. Can I keep walking? Yes. But day after day, it all builds up, and then someone gives me some rocks to carry in my pockets, and suddenly it's too much.

Cecily, you remind me to ask myself , "What am I really hungry for?". As you pointed out, food conveniently fills us up quickly, stops the hunger for awhile... but not long enough. I know I've been using food to fill the hunger for other things.

Speaking of getting what you really hunger for, I saw an article about great places to live. One was Ogden, Utah, and it made me wonder if you had considered Utah as a new home base? The climate is pretty favorable, not too humid. It does snow, but usually not for long. Lots of great outdoor trails etc, can live more rural, but close to a city with a great airport and other amenities. My Aussie sister lives there, and I was surprised by how beautiful it is when I visited.

I feel like crap. I stayed home today. It started last evening. My face is aching, my ears are plugged, my throat is sore, my head throbs, my glands feel tender. And what's my biggest concern? Do I need to do a Covid test? If I get one, I think I have to stay out a certain number of days, regardless. If I ignore this, and power through, and it does turn out I have a breakthrough case, then I'm an infection risk. I'm pretty sure it's inflamed sinuses. I guess if I'm still sick tomorrow, I'll have to go get one.

Liz, I like how you describe your time with Mike, it feels longer and shorter than 9 months. Like you're so good together, it feels like it's always been, and you're having so much fun it feels fresh and new. May it ever be so. Or maybe I'm projecting after 37 years with DH, that's how I still feel. One anniversary I wrote that he was my safe harbor and my biggest adventure.

Utah is such an amazingly beautiful place! I have a few spots that are more in the southern part of the state on my Realtor.com list (towns around St. George) that get less snow than the north. I wasn't sure the about Mormon side of things, not that I have an issue with Mormons at all (there are a lot in my county and I know a lot of fantastic Mormon people) but I have heard they can be very insular in Utah and it can be hard to get a footing socially if you aren't Mormon. Maybe that?s just anecdotal and not widespread? Bears more looking into. It would certainly hit my hiking requirements out of the park!

I missed the part about you feeling like crap! I hope you feel better soon and that it's not Covid. But probably better to know for sure than not!

Sorry you are feeling so icky! Hope you are feeling better ASAP!

Liz, You asked about the weigh****chers bagels. I like them! They are less than 100 calories for a good sized dense "bagel". I like them warm from the oven. After a day or two, I prefer them toasted. They can make a decent breakfast sandwich. We made them savory with the addition of everything bagel seasoning. We thought we might try mixing splenda and cinnamon to make a sweet bagel. The recipe is on the WW app, it's called 2 ingredient bagels.

Is this the recipe that is equal parts of self rising flour and greek yogurt????

Yes, I guess ours are 3 ingredients, because I don't ever buy self rising flour, so my daughter looked up what leavening agent is in it and added it to the flour.