Tuesday, January 26, 2021

My last day at Mike's for a week (I have been here for a week this time). It is supposed to be another great outdoor day so we will go to the beach again. Next time I am here it will be February so we are planning to go to the driving range. Mike wants see if his neck is healed enough from a procedure done last fall to play golf again. I am going to find out if there is any point in taking lessons. I have realized that if I am going to hang out with this guy longer term we need to do something other than hang out on the beach and take walks. So I may try out golf!

Tonight we are going to meet friends from my long-term home for dinner. The husband was one of DH's best friends. I hope he will like Mike (the wife already met Mike once).

Have a safe healthy and productive day!

Weight down 0.2

CA opened back up again (most counties to "purple tier") despite having 1100 fewer available ICU beds than when we closed and a greater 7 day case rate (25,000 vs 23,000). Should be interesting. My county's positivity rate is still 16.7% (it was 8.8% when the stay at home order went in). I do question what Newsom is thinking and wonder if he's feeling the pressure of the recall effort gaining ground. And I wonder if closing businesses or reopening has any impact at all on a virus that is already widespread. Whether it's just going to ebb and surge no matter what we do. I'm fine with masks and social distancing but the rest feels like steering wheels on Disneyland cars - you feel like you're doing something, like you're contributing to the outcome, but the car is going to go where the car is going to go. Obviously stopping it in the very early stages is a different story. But it's too late here.

Stucco guys are working again today. I'm bummed about the house needing painting now, but it is what it is and it's now repaired correctly.

Oh, we accepted the latest offer on my dad's house. It's less than the first verbal offer that never went through and they only potentially want some of the furniture, but want to negotiate that separately after. My dad said we needed to take it because the newly built house next door is going to go on the market this month (the owners decided it was too big... they built it!) and he didn't want to compete with it. Probably smart. I just feel sad about the whole thing, but in the long run it's for the best.

Another chilly day here. Mid 50s, but sunny.

Anyway, off to start the day. Wishing you all happy ones.

Congratulations on the accepted offer by your Dad. It does sound like a smart decision.

Here in Florida, Desantis is a purely political animal wavering between pleasing the press and businesses. The latter seems to be more important. But I guess they are all like that as some early actions in Massachusetts made perfect sense but some recent hedging perhaps not consistent.

I have wondered the same thing Cecily, that once you reach certain numbers, can anything we collectively do stop it? Or has the inferno reached such a peak, that it just has to burn itself out? Individually we can make choices for ourselves, like we are in pretty tight quarantine mode here at our house. But, if everything is open, it does prevent people like wait staff, or retail people like my husband from making choices that are best for them. People can't just quit their jobs or stay home, they have to be out there in the wildfire. So who knows what to do. But those of us who have the privilege of deciding whether to expose themselves should give some serious thought and action to protecting more vulnerable people...

I should add, I'm not sure how all that works either. My daughter's friend works in a really nice restaurant in Chicago. She would prefer to stay on unemployment, even though she earns less, but she can't, because they're open. One of her 36 year d co workers died of covid, so they're all scared. My niece, a hairdresser, wants to work, wants her schedule as full as precovid days. I'd like to keep working from home until I'm vaccinated, but will probably go back before that. It's all just a mess.

If they can't find a "safe" job, I think maybe (?) they can stay on unemployment. DS (chef) is still on unemployment (since March). He has to keep looking but hasn't found a job where he thinks the kitchen help is safe so hasn't taken anything. I believe he had at least one good job offer (out of area and tiny kitchen).

I wonder if that's a Massachusetts law, I double checked with my daughter, and she said friend was furloughed and either had to come back, or quit, and if she quit, she would not get unemployment. Or maybe it's different if you were furloughed versus laid off/let go?

Oh! That is the difference - the previous job became available again. My sons job ended because the owner went bankrupt (due to Covid).

155.6

I guess I'll go back to worrying about weight. Maybe

I really cannot seem to shake the grim feeling and anxiety. I'm not exactly an optimist but even for me this is bleak. Am I just hyper aware of death right now? And if so, how do I become oblivious to it again?

I appreciate all of your condolences. DD hit the nail on the head about not having our rituals to grieve. DH will have said goodbye to his sister and mother within a 9 month span and not able to have people bring over food or come to funerals.

I suppose all of this makes us reflect on our own preparedness (or lack thereof) for end of life. I want to handle that and then get on with the business of living. I am anxious to get vaccines and get everyone else vaccinated. I want all of this to be in the rearview.

I do think the reminder of our own mortality puts things into perspective. I am at a healthy weight. I like feeling good. Honestly, I like looking good. But I have also wasted so much precious energy on weight. This is not to say I don't care what my weight is or that being overweight releases me from this mouse wheel. I can promise you I spent a great deal of energy and negativity on my weight when I was nearly 300lbs. But I do think it means being okay with where you are, or at least happy with your trajectory or something. I did read Peps' point about being happy with his weight and did that mean being okay with it. Or something to that effect. And I'm not entirely sure I know what he means and yet I think I agree entirely!!

To that end, I really want to work on mindfulness this year

Aaaaand, I also want to plan for happier days. We just booked a trip to hawaii in July. We'll see if it can happen. But I'm willing to mentally take that risk (thankfully financially it can just be changed no problemo)

Stay well my friends.

Bonnie, I think booking something to look ahead to is exactly what you need right now.