VSG Maintenance Group
Wednesday, January 20, 2021
I am glad the inauguration is done and went off without disruption. I wasn't truly worried, but I think in the back of my mind I knew it was a possibility.
BB, I am hoping your prayers for your MIL are answered. Being put on a ventilator is a major and frightening step in treatment. I can understand your worry and fear.
Covid vaccine protocol and roll out in CA is just dismal. I have been pretty middle of the road and accepting of our Guv Newsom, but his lack of roll out plan for vaccination in CA has really lessened my opinion of him. There is no reason why California should be 44th in vaccinations in the US. We supposedly have the 7-8th largest economy in the WORLD, but we can't seem to organize vaccine administration even though we now have one of the highest Covid infection levels in the country. Frustrating as all heck - especially when you have him saying he wants kids back in school, but is doing nothing to make it happen. UGH....
Yesterday I questioned some things going on in my healing journey. I am being encouraged to accept, be happy with, love, etc... my body for what it is TODAY. I get that. But my question is this: Does being accepting of what I am at the moment mean I have to stop wanting to improve and be "better"? I mean, is wanting to make my body "better" or thinner or more cut detrimental to my progress?
I get that I have an eating disorder that is compulsion and binge based. I get that I need to work on understanding the root of the compulsion more than anything, but I'm getting a bit frustrated hanging out at this weight.
This issue is actually pretty huge for me right now. Not exactly sure how I can deal with it, but I know it needs to be investigated.
It is a very lovely day weather wise. I need to go outside and enjoy this sunny day in January.
You've heard me say in the past that I can simultaneously think I am hot $hi! while still wanting to be better. So I don't think your wish to be more cut, thinner, etc is not a healthy goal. The question is, do you think you're taking something awesome and making it even better, or are you taking something you think is defective and trying to fix it? I think you are improving on awesomeness, but I'm wondering if you feel that deeply in your heart?
