VSG Maintenance Group
01/18/21
So I'm thinking about my plan for losing more weight. At least the holiday regain. And I feel like such a resistant and petulant child. That's just my gut reaction when it comes to weightloss. I know that it's pretty simple in theory. I have a certain number of calories I can have per day. Exceed that and I gain weight. I can eat healthier foods and more of them. But for some reason in the past that doesn't work for me, at least long term. And I've always worked very hard to preserve the relationship that I now have with food. I really enjoy it. And I don't like eating foods that aren't good. And when I say that aloud, that makes sense. In fact, the less we eat shouldn't we be MORE protective of good foods? But good foods aren't always nutritious foods. I wi****hought that way, but I don't. And not only are good foods not as nutritious, they tend to be the ones that I eat TOO much of. But then I also feel like sometimes you just have to do what you have to do to make that calorie goal. As much as I detest it, there it is. And that first week or two is rough. Sometimes I have only a couple hundred calories left by the end of the day and I'm forced to get creative with the healthier foods that I don't love.
I guess it just makes me think back to all my dieting days that NEVER WORKED. Oh how long I drank skim or 1% milk, how I ate cardboard diet bread, reduced fat cheese, etc.---only to end up "cheating", feeling bad, having a terrible relationship with food and being 277lbs. anyway. Jeez. I think in weightloss mode I am going to have to be smart. It cannot and will not all the time mean higher fat foods just in small portions. That works for me in maintenance okay but isn't filling enough for weightloss when I have to pare down the calories even more. And to some extent I feel like "a calorie saved is a calorie earned" but where is the fine line between "I'm not eating this garbage" and "this isn't my favorite but it's nutritious and low calorie and I'm saving the calories for a dinner out later."
\>>>I'm listening to "planning us healthy" on youtube and she's on WW and has all these meal ideas that are probably pretty ingenuous but they take me back to WW, which didn't work then, and I don't know why
on 1/18/21 9:49 am, edited 1/18/21 1:49 am
Monday weigh in day, 194.2, down 1.4 this week, 28 overall. Only 6.2 more Covid pounds to go! I really think the daily walking (a 2-3 mile walk) is making a big difference in my weekly losses. I'm aiming for between 1600 and 1700 calories. But I feel so good mentally and physically. Normal, even if technically I'm overweight. And at peace and in control, but not in a rigid way if that makes sense.
Went out to my Dad's yesterday and I took pictures of the paintings I wanted. The people want all the furniture, rugs and art. We8re clarifying decorative items. Not because we're opposed to leaving them, but to know if we have to find somewhere for them to go. I cleaned out a bunch of stuff from my closet there. There are still clothes of mine in the drawers from when I lived there i*****5. So still so much work to do. I so hope the sale goes through! My dad teared up again. We both know it's the right thing to do and that the house needs the love of someone with fresh eyes and energy who lives there full time.
Today I have therapy and need a walk and to pick up dog prescriptions. And maybe box up some more of my donatables. I slept in until 9 (plus dog pills at 6:30, but I hardly open my eyes to do that), which was "glorious!" as my crazy aunt would declare.
Hope everyone has a good day!
As many are lessening their news intake, I am stepping it up. I am truly fascinated by what is going on in the United States of America today. The footage now available of what transpired at the Capitol building is mesmerizing. It is clear that a large number of people went to the Capitol with the intent of entering and occupying the Capitol. I watched 60 Minutes last night and was very impressed by the Mayor of Washington DC. My hopes that are that the inauguration goes off without a hitch. Is that wishful thinking?
Had my weekly session with the NUT on Friday. Again a disconcerting topic arose - that I know how to write the book, "Healthy Eating for Devon". Somehow that bothers me. My NUT also talks about how I don't know how to lose weight without going on a diet. Which is correct. She also says that it is clear I don't want to go on a diet, which is also correct. She indicates that at some point I will be able to lose weight without going on a diet. I guess my head is not quite wrapped around that concept. Sheesh....
I am feeling kind of "stuck" lately with my weight, food, eating, etc... Must be part of the process.
It is unusually warm and super windy here today. South of here there are high risk fire danger warnings. Very odd for January.
My Covid test on Saturday was negative so Dad is coming today to for a hair cut. Will be nice to see him, even if it is only for a short while. My brother still will not see me except briefly on his porch. Well, he stands inside the open door and I stand about 20 feet away, which is his comfort range.
Have to take another test on Tuesday for work. I feel like I get tested more than anyone I know. I guess that is a good thing?????
I enjoyed the extra day of weekend today and stayed in bed until almost 9. Like Ceci's aunt would say, "Glorious!"
One news story I did read, without inflammatory language, reported the need to vet soldiers, active duty and national guard for extreme ideology. To prevent an "inside job" at the inauguration. Different military leaders talked matter of factly that screen already, but now the FBI is doing an additional vetting on all 25,000 going to the inauguration, and how platoon leaders etc are trained to recognize signs that those under their command are radicalized. Stunning, sobering. A brave new world indeed.