01/18/21

My heart is grateful and full after talking to NYC DD yesterday! She spent all day Saturday as a volunteer, vaccinating people. It was a moving and cathartic experience for her ! Her apartment mate, also a hospital pharmacist, is struggling with PTSD and moving back to CT. DD LOVES the city, and feels she is safer there than most of the rest of us. One older couple brought cookies, another woman a hand written note, and some cried because they were so moved by the moment. This is absolutely the precise therapy she needed ! So grateful !

Wow, Diane. I hadn't thought about how healing doing something to save our world after watching so many die could be. Just so wonderful. The NY Times had an article on "underselling the vaccine" this morning which I found interesting: https://www.nytimes.com/2021/01/18/briefing/donald-trump-par don-phil-spector-coronavirus-deaths.html?referringSource=art icleShare

It is supposed to be sunny and a bit warmer today, with each day this week successively nicer. Finally. I so wish our pool was open, but maybe I will drive to the beach. I need more sun!

Nothing much else going on these days especially when I am back at home. Just Justice and I hanging out and taking walks.

Have a safe, healthy day!

156.4

Well one thing is clear, the overall average of my weight is up. Not enough to be red alarm, but enough to force me to get serious.

I'm really having trouble coping. Maybe it's anxiety. I feel like I'm always waiting for the next bad thing. I really don't want any medicine, I want to learn ways of coping if that will be enough. My MIL seems pretty ill so DH just booked a trip out to see her in 2 weeks. And it sounds like there are to be layoffs at DH's job again in the next month. If he didn't have 25 years experience in his very specialized role, I think we'd be looking to exit the industry. It's great when it's good. But this will make the 3rd layoff at this company in ONE YEAR. It has nothing to do about performance any more. It's very hard to make any plans when you're constantly uncertain about job future. And then when I think about everyone who has suffered with joblessness and uncertainty this year. Whew.

But I will make a forecast: I bet oil and gasoline prices will be going up if not skyrocketing. I think the incoming administration may limit what kinds of drilling can be done and where (federal lands). That will cause supply to go down, meanwhile I predict that pent-up demand will skyrocket maybe as soon as summer. And thus the cycle will continue. These same companies may be scrambling to find employees to capitalize on higher oil prices.

But again trying to focus on what I can. DH has the day off and we'll go to the zoo--lots of good steps in there. And Becca has been pleading with us to go! House is back in order after Christmas except for the village, which we will hopefully put up today. I would also really like to get our little workout area set up. NOt much needs to be done, I just need to figure out if I can program my phone to the tv, or how to use that tv etc. I'm really envisioning a short HIIT workout each day and I have my weights right there.

I love that the vaccine is bringing so much hope to everyone!! I think I'll probably get it. I'm slightly concerned because it's so new but I also don't want to get covid sooooo. But DH thinks I must have already had it since I never got it from him. But I told him about Cecily's article. Has anyone gotten antibody testing and do we trust it?

I read an article about the development of the vaccine that made me question it less. There were a number of factors that sped up it's development, but a couple stood out: money. Lots and lots of money. Coordination. Typically, companies would work in their own silo, and guard their research. In the race for the vaccine, scientists around the world shared their data with each other readily, giving teams info it might have taken them months or years to gather themselves. Volunteers. Recruiting people for vaccine trials was not a concern. Big trials were run much faster than typical. And not in the article, but sadly could be true. By the time some of us get the vaccine, millions of doses will have been distributed, giving us a chance to see what outliers exist for side effects. And finally my own bias, a good friend was on the Pfizer team. His Mom will take the vaccine as soon as she is eligible. Works for me. :)

The vaccine fear is more evidence as to why basic science needs more emphasis in school. Vaccines and medicines/drugs are not the same. Clearly many people do not understand the fundamental differences and maybe how a vaccine even works. That saddens me.

I am incredibly pro vaccine. My parents talk about being quarantined for measles, and the fear of polio. My brother and I were vaccinated for everything. My kids too. But, I also remember the Swine Flu vaccine in the 70s and there were unanticipated side effects, some severe. So I don't think all people feeling cautious about a new vaccine means they aren't educated about how vaccinations work. They may already be vaccinated for many other diseases. Now the anti vax crowd is a different group altogether than someone who has some skepticism about a brand new vaccine.

Yes, I suppose I should differentiate between the anti vaxers and those who are simply cautious. You sight the Swine Flu vaccine issues, but history shows that the media really did hype that one out of context. I also think it was a highly political vaccine.

Yes, Guillian-Barre syndrome did flare up in many, but that is a side effect in many, if not not all vaccines. (I'm not sure.) There is something about vaccines in general that trigger autoimmune responses in some individuals. Would be nice to know what that trigger is!

The sad part to me about the swine flu in the 1970s is that it was a benign flu and really not a danger to anyone.

I am definitely pro vaccinations. But I also think you have to be cautious the risk of the thing and the potential side effects of what you're putting into your body. Too many med mal and health care law cases for me to proceed without question. I know everyone is trying to do what's best, but they can only know what they know. My MIL is 76 and very unhealthy. She should get the vaccine without question. Whereas my risks from covid are probably pretty slight so I need to weigh the risks. I do think what DD posted about why this isn't your run-of-the-mill-push-through-vaccine is great food for thought, though, and calms some of my anxieties.

I think a lot of issues today have to do with people not understanding history. If they had lived through the devastating effects of polio or smallpox or measles, they would know how lifesaving they are. I heap massive amount of shame on that doctor who erroneously claimed autism was caused by vaccines. The amount of trust he destroyed in modern medicine will take generations to undo.

Ocean Diane, thank you so much for sharing your daughter's story. Very uplifting!