Sunday, December 20, 2020

Yesterday was mostly a good day celebrating my daughters completion of her Masters program and visiting with my former next door neighbor. Visiting the grand nephew was weird as they are super paranoid and I could tell they didn't really want me in the house. Everyone wears masks and I could only view him from across the room. Seeing close-up pictures is better at this point. Some people seem to think that because I had Covid a few weeks ago that I am going to be a carrier from now on. CDC and my doctor don't agree but I respect people's concerns. I wonder if the same people will distrust the efficacy of the vaccine though? Remember polio? Though I was very young I remember what a difference the vaccine made but I am not sure it will be the same this time.

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of the day DH ended up in the hospital and tomorrow will be one year since he went on hospice. Sad times, but I too enjoy looking at all the ornaments on the tree that DH and I bought for each other and the kids each year. So many good memories. Here are some special ones we bought over a several year period:

Today I plan to take Justice to the beach so he can run around joyfully. That will be uplifting. Stay safe and healthy!

It is a perfect Northern CA winter morning. Blue, blue sky and chilly! It's just over 40 degrees. The dogs are loving the morning.

Liz, what tough memories you are navigating. I'm glad that you are home in Massachusetts and not in Florida with Mike. Such a wise decision on your part to navigate this first Christmas season without DH at home with DS and your close family.

Naturally, the first thing I wanted to do this morning was to weigh myself. Sigh.... I think I wanted to see if my overall "good" food day resulted in a drop on the scale. If that doesn't tell me how much I rely on the scale... right????

I did a leg centered workout yesterday, but included some abs and shoulder work. It was a shorter work out than usual, about 45 or 50 minutes. So, when I felt like I wanted to eat around 3 or 3:30 and I wasn't really hungry, I got on the elliptical and did 30 minutes on that. My glutes are feeling it today - which is a good feeling. I think I've mentioned there is a level of sore I really enjoy. Well, that's where I am this morning. Though there is the possibility that by this afternoon the soreness will be just past the enjoyable point.

I have a dog to strip out this morning, then a free afternoon. This evening we are going to drive to 10 "Must See" Christmas light displays in the area. There was a nice map all done up for readers in the local paper. That will be fun to do.

Second estimate on the synthetic turf was $1,700 more than the first. BUT, I like the product better and the company does turf installation exclusively. I felt a more confident with contractor #2 than the first guy. Will see about getting one or two more estimates.

Food/Weight - the no weighing will continue for at least two weeks, but probably much longer. My only goals for now are to make sure I eat at least 2 full servings of fruit and two full servings of vegetables each day. I tend to have no issue with protein or carbs, so I'm not even going to concern myself with those macros. I am also working on monitoring and understanding the "cravings", "drive bys", non hunger/boredom eating. Last night I ate 3 Danish butter cookies and three chocolates before bed. Gave myself permission, but I really do want to understand the WANT/NEED for that last bit of food before bed.

Well, time to start the day in earnest.

Kate and Elise were the two daughters that became part of your blended family when you married? Tierny and Conor were adopted by you and DH, yes?

So complex I know! Elise was my birth child with my first (brief) husband. Katie is my stepdaughter from DH's even briefer first marriage. Paul adopted Elise, then we both adopted Tierney and Conor.

Weight up .2. A friend of mine has been giving me 12 Days of Christmas gifts on my porch, secret Santa style. I am pretty sure I know who it is. As thoughtful as it is and as appreciative as I am, there is so much candy in the gifts! I want/need candy like a hole in the head! And it's stuff I like too. Argh.

My tree is still bare of decorations. Hopefully I will find the motivation for that today. I know it'll take less than an hour. I don't know why I'm dragging my feet other than because I can.

I had a nice walk yesterday. I may go again today. Other than that, nothing going on here!

Liz, These first anniversaries of loss are so tough. Like Peps, I agree you made wise choices to be at home. Will you see your step daughter over the holidays?

Ha! Peps, I'm not weighing either, but not because I made a healthy plan to stay off the scale. I'm ostriching.

Cecily, too much candy, treats everywhere, and no place to bring it. The teacher dining area was always a sure fire way to pass along candy. Can you regift it to your mail carrier or someone like that? Food shelf?

I have 2 more days of work before we have break. In anticipation, I removed my school email from my personal devices. Tuesday afternoon, I will post an automatic reply that I am unable to access my email during break, and will respond January 4, when school is back in session. I will then power off my school laptop and store it. This is my plan. I will lose my mind if I don't disconnect for awhile. High school special ed problems right now, not all of them are solvable. And that is a hard, hard, fact for me to accept. I have a lot of drive and perseverance when it comes to trying to help my students. I'm usually successful. But I need to let go for a bit. Help keep me accountable over break.

We are going to visit with my sister in law, who has breast cancer, this evening in their garage. It's heated, and with the door open for air circulation, and the heat running, it won't be like sitting in the house, but it will be tolerable.She already had covid, but we still need to follow some safety protocols for other germs we could be carrying.

I had 4 cookies and a cup of tea for breakfast. Not a surprise, I have a headache. Lunch will be better, cottage cheese with blueberries, something I always enjoy. I can do this.

It's hard with the holiday season so unlike any of our normal traditions. I hope everyone can find some moments of joy amidst the upheaval.

Sounds like a smart way to set boundaries and allow yourself to recharge.

PS, today's present was a bag of sugar cookie mix and sprinkles. Kill me now! I passed along some candy to my friends in their Christmas bags, but I couldn't bring myself to part with my favorites!

The cookie mix is the great! You can save it and make cookies for one beautiful day like a picnic with friends.

If I don't make them and eat them all myself first! My restraint ends at the front door. Once the food is in my house, I am weak.