Sunday December 13, 2020

Weight 127.2 as of this morning @ 4:15 am. I am back on Cape Cod and it is 55 so not too much of a shock. Justice was thrilled to see DS but has been following me around and is now curled up next to me. He is super quiet on the plane flight but I think it is stressful for him. The flight was less than half full so I had my row to myself. The airports were quiet and not crowded as well so I think it would have been relatively safe for most.

Mike and I had a good couple of last days and I do plan to continue seeing him but just not live together like we sort of have since mid-October. Too much, too soon. However I think he liked it (other than during the enforced quarantine).

DS was fine once I got home! The house is more decorated than usual and not exactly how I would do it but it looks really good.

Stay safe and healthy!

Weight down 0.2 today.

Well, the estimate for fixing the pergolas was outrageous. $4500! So I have another guy coming Wednesday to give me an estimate. Just as well. I didn't like the first guy as he was very patronizing. Fingers crossed the second one is a lot less.

We are back to lines outside the grocery store here, at least on weekends when there are bigger crowds. Grr.

My anxiety has been better the last couple of days. Lots of weird dreams though. Not bad exactly, but anxiety related.

Nothing on tap for today except a walk. Hope everyone has a good day!

Liz, glad you are home, and it is a peaceful homecoming. Cecily, I hate when men (or women) patronize me when I am buying their service. That is reason enough to not hire him.

My best plans for an organized weekend got waylaid. I decided to try ordering from Wal-Mart delivery again, and they never delivered my groceries. 6 hours after the delivery time, and no contact from them, I got on an online chat, and they said the driver didn't show, and the order was cancelled, but they could renew it and it would be delivered between 8-10am this morning. Now it's 12:30pm, and it's cancelled again. They just can't keep up with the demands because of covid. I might try delivery from a different store another time, but for now I'm off to my usual grocery store in a few minutes. The Vikings are playing, so that usually leaves the store less crowded.

I've finished quilting the stocking I'm making for my son's girlfriend. I just have to embroider her name on it. This week I'll sew the front and back and the lining to make it into a stocking.

Well, off to the store.

Oh that's frustrating about the deliveries!

Amen! Patronizing contractors need not apply. I very much appreciate skill and expertise, but don't treat me as if as a woman I'm incapable of understanding ripping out rotten timbers and putting in new ones. It's Tinker Toys 101 only on a larger scale.

A rainy Sunday. Muddy puppies equals a very cranky Ron. It never fails he tends to clean or mop the floor before a rain and gets super frustrated that the puppies track in water and dirty footprints. On one hand I understand his frustration, but on the other it makes absolutely no sense to me. Cleaning is not a one and done thing. Housekeeping is a classic example of entropy - the natural tendency of all matter to become disorganized over time. This fact seems to be lost on Ron.

I bring this up because it is a trigger for my eating disorder, not just to randomly ***** about domestic issues. My first reaction was to feed my feelings triggered by his mood. I sat and realized that his cranky reaction to the dogs and mud is so nonsensical to me that it triggers real frustration and anger in me. Rather than dealing with those feelings, I immediately react by wanting to eat. Now I have to decide whether my reaction is justified or not, but for now, it's what I feel and I want to deal with it without eating. That is partly why I am writing here. Helps me sort through.... More dirty laundry....

Have other deeper issues that lie behind the ED, but they are thoughts for another day. Muddy paw prints are enough for today.

BB's snow photos on FB are glorious. Ceci, glad your anxiety is lessening. Liz, glad your flight was an easy one and you are safely back in Massachusetts. I think flying is hard on dogs. The stress level is high and the heat of the airplane flooring can be physically taxing, too. DD, hope your shopping goes well. I tend to go now after dinner around 8 pm. Very few people in the store at that time. During the day we are back to having lines at the smaller groceries like Trader Joe's and Sprouts.

Weight was down a good 2 pounds today. Must be due to all the water that was released over the course of yesterday.

Off to salvage what remains of the day.

It's the down side to being an empathetic person - absorbing the moods of everyone around you as if they were your own. Gift wrap those feelings and give them back to Ron!!

I am a feelings eater too. When people say that they were so upset they couldn't eat, I have a hard time understanding that.

Entropy? What a great word to describe housekeeping, which I assume can be applied to dishwashing and laundry as well. I will have to remember it.