Sunday, November 15

Cinnamon buns DEFINITELY smell loud!

Liz, thinking of you, your kids and Paul today. I loved the happy, smiling pic you posted of him on his 65th. He was already ill at that point, right? His photo of that day is another example of why that disease is so insidious. Paul looks happy, healthy and mentally acute in the photo. His outward appearance hints at nothing amiss. With other diseases there is usually a trace of physical change. Not news to you, I know, but heightened level of awareness for me. Luxuriate in your memories today.

"I don't think you eat enough at meals to physically satisfy yourself. You seem to eat barely enough to get you by until the next meal. I also don't think you are getting enough fat in your meals," said the NUT on Friday. There was more, but.... So yesterday and today for breakfast I ate more than I normally do. Focused on getting a little more fat in the meal, too. Hopefully, more satisfying meals will curb the "drive bys". I'm feeling a bit defeated and exhausted about the whole eating thing, but remain ever hopeful. Just going through a transition right now, so I know this feeling will pass quickly to be replaced by a renewed energy. Just have to trust the process and refrain from entertaining fanciful and magical cures.

Thanksgiving is looking to be a contentious topic. Ron is really wanting to be with his family. His family has plan A, plan B, and plan C in place. My BFF and Aunty Kathryn also have their "bubble requirements". I am hoping beyond all hope that Ron's family decides plan C (a Zoom Thanksgiving get together) is the way to go. My BFF and Aunty Kathryn are holiday orphans. They have Ron and me. That's it. Neither of them are willing to socialize with Ron's family (which I completely understand!!!!). I don't really want to socialize with two of Ron's sisters and their families because of their cir****tances. So, I'm going to have to be true to myself I think and tell Ron that I really don't want to go to a family Thanksgiving that is filled mixed with 5 different households and bubbles. It just doesn't seem to be prudent. I would be happy to have Thanksgiving dinner with his bio sister and his youngest half sister. We are close and I know how they lead their Covid lives.

Off to go pick up GOAT and bring it home to ready it for a dog show weekend. Sure will be a different weekend, but still exciting to get to do something I love and have missed doing. Lots of rules in place for PPE and social distancing, etc... A few of us are going to try to have a socially distanced lunch, but I have already told everyone who wants to do that they are not allowed in GOAT. Only Ron, I and the dogs are allowed in to that closed space. Perhaps I am a little nuts, but hey, I am a Californian and we are by reputation a little nuts - especially the nut burgers up here in northern CA! So Cal not so much. Diane S and I live much closer to the land of tree huggers. Well, Diane S. lives IN tree hugger country. I'm just pretty damn close!

I don't think you're nuts at all and my Covid feelings have relaxed a lot. You're only as safe as the least conscientious amongst you.

Yes, Paul was well into dementia when those pics on FB were taken at his 65th birthday. He had lost his ability to drive and I had gotten to the point where I felt I needed to retire. There were some uncharacteristic spurts of anger starting at that point too. And yet some of his personality still remained and did through much of 2018. It wasn't until 2019 when it was rare to see the "real" Paul.

This afternoon I shared a couple of glasses of wine with some friends here (Mike watched football back at my place with Justice). And I was remembering how his whole life, even at the very end, he lit up whenever I came into the room. He always adored me and trusted me to take care of him. I was so lucky to have had that in my life. I guess some people never do.

Good Morning All

Back from being MIA due to being super busy. Spent the weekend at the farm with DSS, his partner and our grandbabies. It was bliss. I was run off my feet but loved every minute of it. Made a cake with Ashton, he fed the chickens, collected eggs, checked the cows each morning and ran around outside. We set up the swing set and they loved it too. My heart is full. BB - I have a better insight as to how many steps you take chasing toddlers. My goodness I was exhausted by bed each night. We had extras for dinner Fri night and sat night - 14 sat night. Did a BBQ. It was nice to get back to some form of normal and be together as a family again. Much needed. Will post some pics on TT in a bit

I was thankful to go to bed at 7.30pm last night - I was super tired. Was woken with a huge bang around 12.30am. The dog pen took flight in ctrazy winds. I couldnt get it back upright on my own - so called my eldest son to come help. Picture this - I was hanging onto it in my nightie as a counterweight whilst trying to get the ties cut to take the tarp off the roof when he arrived. Im sure he thinks his mum is a little nutty but I get the job done. We are without power again so Im working from my mums today. Must be the day for it as I was doing her dishes and her sink plug/drain thing has fallen apart. Ive cleaned up all the water that filled the cupboard and called our plumber. Whats that saying it never rains but it pours.........

Weight this morning - 177.76 so a drop. I have 0.8 kilos to go to get back under 80 kgs which is my no go zone. I think with the way this week is panning out - I might just get there in sheer activity alone

I will pop back later to catch up on everyones news but wanted to send my love to you Liz - the firsts are sooo hard. Lovely photo of Paul.

Take care all

S

Shirl as counterweight! I have a picture of that in my head... I once forgot to tie down a patio umbrella in MI. It took flight in a thunderstorm, traveled over the roof and ended up behind the house. No salvaging it.