11/01/2020, Sunday

We have some leftover candy to rehome, but our approach to Trick-or-Treat was well received ! BB, the girls were absolutely adorable !!! ( You and Rich looked great too, although a bit pale, ha ha !) Peps, loved the tongs ! Liz, can't wait to hear a Mike update, and his response to your home. Diane, your Halloween parties sound so fun ! The soup smells delicious from here ! DD, handing out treats from a fire pit sounds wonderful ! Shirl, I am so in awe at how much you get accomplished in a given day !! Ceci, so glad to hear your back is feeling better !

Leaf blew, raked and removed leaves from the back yard AGAIN, then mowed ONE LAST TIME, I promise. A little less than half of the leaves are still in the trees, so a solid head start for sure. A carrot cake muffin and some candy were part of my day, so the calories expended were probably a wash, although I forgot to weigh in today. We also cleaned out the garage yesterday and moved the snow blower and shovels out of the shed. We have prepaid for two tons of pellets for our stove, and have a space ready in the garage for the first delivery. Without snow on the ground, your chute idea is still intriguing, David.

Good morning Diane O.! Like you, our trick-or-treating went well. We typically buy 120-130 full size candies and have 20-30 left. So this year we bought 86. And every single one is gone. Actually, we could've used 90. So perhaps a little lighter crowd than normal but not by much. Assuming next year is normal, I'm trying to determine what that means. Maybe higher turnout because no other options (no church truck or treat or parties), and it was also a Saturday. But by the same token, I know a lot of people weren't going, and especially with few neighbors participating, many kids totally skip. I think I'll go back to normal numbers next year. I'm gonna miss the occasional full size reese.

Liz-So glad to hear about niece! Sorry you cannot be there to celebrate. This virus sucks. I just hope it doesn't permanently change us.

Cecily/DD-It's all such a mind game. I agree that I think that society treats weight as a moral failing. I HATE that. Even if it were (which I don't believe), we have to WEAR it on our literal shoulders. I probably have a radical idea but I still think weight is such a bad measure even of what people eat. It's complicated. But it's because of the thinking about weight and it as an implicit measure of character/discipline, etc., that we have a hard time treating it. I see WLS as my ONLY way out. But maybe I'm part of the problem because even 10 years out I'm not totally open about it.

Cecily-I wonder if there are some affirmations, etc. that you could use? Sometimes I feel very uncomfortable in my skin and nothing seems able to change it. But I know there are other times when I'll get a massage or workout and I feel so connected to every part of my body, paying attention to it and thanking it!

Time change is so laughable for parents with small children!

We are headed to "Haunt the Zoo." So Halloween continues for one more day!! My parents are coming over for lunch. If I can get my act together we will have a Jack Skellington chicken potpie, a slaw, and apple cake. Then it's back on the calorie watching wagon for Monday.

I'm getting anxious about election day lines. I've never waited in line for long in OK. But it sounds like turnout has been much higher this year. I was hoping with all the absentee ballots and early in-person, there would be fewer day-of. Thankfully that's the only thing I have to do on Tuesday

Your family looked so cute for Halloween. It's nice to see people doing things that have a sense of normalcy.

I also was not open about my surgery. Perhaps it would help if we were all willing to share publicly. I just did not want to talk about with people who would tell me it doesn't work, or I should try the hot pepper diet etc. When people asked how are you losing weight, I would say I'm working with a bariatric doctor and nutritionist, or, complete lifestyle change. If someone who could benefit from surgery asked, I would offer to talk with them in private, and then I would give them the whole story. One co worker did go on to have a sleeve after we talked.

Weight 126.2, down .6. Yeah!

Mike likes my home - says it is warmer than his, but that is because his is furnished bare bones with all dark furniture and relatively subdued paint where mine is tropical, bright and has lots of pictures.

Some frustration upon arrival when I couldn't get the AC going. It turned out that the router had to be restarted so the Wi-Fi thermostat would work. Arghhh...

Guess who this is???

Have a safe, healthy and beautiful soul day!

Welcome little one! Adorable, a little pumpkin indeed.

Fall sounds like good exercise in your neck of the woods, Diane! What a sweet pumpkin, Liz! BB, I loved your family costumes directed by Becca! Sounds like she inherited the party planning gene from her Momma.

A pattern I forgot from weight loss attempts past, I am incredibly hungry the day before a woosh. I was over by 200 calories, but it was really hard to keep it to only 200. But I was down 0.8 today.

I'm not gonna lie, as a night owl, I love the fall time change for the extra sleep.

BB and DD, thank you for your insights! I think it was the baring of scars to a cute young very fit male stranger that was so jarring. I don't think about them most of the time, but in the moment knowing he was going to wonder if I'd had some sort of horrific accident that may have contributed to my back woes, I felt like I had to explain and that brought on the shame. To have to say to someone who's life's work is taking care of bodies that I'd lost a lot of weight, had skin removed, and be clearly still struggling with my weight felt shaming - all of it coming from me. Just when I think I'm making peace with my body, all the yuck came rushing forward. I am grateful for all my body has done for me, I guess the part that sucks is knowing that I repaid that service with mistreatment that led to what it looks like today. It feels like driving a heap of a car I never took care of until it was battered and beaten and then trying to beam about how proud I am of it for still running despite its state being my fault to begin with. Mostly, I think this is me leaning into the embarrassment because I feel like I deserve what I get. Blah...... I promise I'm not a sad sack about this all of the time! But this was a fresh bruise I can't seem to leave alone for the moment.

My friend who volunteers for the local nature conservancy is on fire watch today as we have more winds and dry weather on tap for the next few days. I'm going to go up and see her - she stationed near the areas by my house that burned where we hike. She said it's heartbreaking to see up close.

Also I sold my wifi mesh system that doesn't work with my new Internet for $100! That brings my junk haul to $210. It's so much more exciting than just giving it away, especially since most donation places here aren't taking stuff right now.

I think that's all for now. A shower is in my immediate future...

Yes I understand all those complicated feelings. Medical care is something I struggled with for years, because I didn't think I deserved it. Especially dental work, I felt so ashamed. My teeth are terrible. One day, I finally found peace, that my crumbling teeth were not my fault, that this wasn't happening to me because I didn't floss enough, or didn't use a sonic toothbrush etc. The fate of my teeth was set long before I was old enough to intervene. Over time, I've come to feel that way about my weight. On the other hand, I'm older than you, so when I have a young, fit, earnest physical therapist, I can play the role of feisty older lady and charm them with my resilience. Look, she's so old, but she doesn't give up. Look, she's still trying to live her best life, isn't that inspiring? :)

We had a great Halloween. I dressed up a little, my daughter loaned me her skeleton dress. She and one of her BFFs went full on with costumes, make up etc.

Her BFF came over around 3:30, and then our friends, parents of the BFF came for dinner at 6pm. My daughter made some cute themed snacks, and I made butternut squash ravioli (not from scratch), with a brown butter sauce, raisins, and roasted pumpkin seeds (it was yum!), and roasted asparagus. Very easy. And some wine. :)

The wind was gusting up to 30mph, so we abandoned the idea of handing out candy with a fire pit in the front. I made up treat bags, and put them on a table on our driveway. I did see a few kids stop and take treats, by the end of the evening, they were all gone. Maybe there were a decent number of kids, maybe somebody dumped all the candy into their bag. The important thing, is that it's gone.

Later in the evening, the guys wanted a cigar, so we did end up lighting a fire, but in the backyard, where it was a little more sheltered. Brrrr. Did not last long.

The wind gusts brought another blast of cold air, the wind chill this morning was 18 degrees. But the snow is gone, and the forecast says fall is returning, with several days in the 60s next week.

I have nothing to say about maintance, as I ate without forethought or reason yesterday. Except this, my sleeve can still slow me down. Out of the 6 of us, I definitely ate the least. After the appetizers, I really couldn't eat much dinner, I had 3 ravioli, and two spears of broccoli. So good job sleeve. :)

All of you all impress me with your drive to keep up your homes - either in or out. I just groom dogs and more dogs. By the time I'm done I have little motivation to keep up with the house. Therefore, my gorgeous new baseboards are already doggy-fied and in need of cleaning. And, the dust lately is just too, too much. I am dreading the rain because of the mud and the dogs, but to be good housekeepers we have to dust daily, if not twice daily to keep surfaces looking good. Two or three days of no dusting and the place looks embarrassing!

I, too, Ceci, love the extra hour in the fall! I will not be happy about the earlier evenings, but I will delight in the lighter mornings. Now, if we could just dump Daylight Savings Time altogether, I would be a happy camper. It's really rather pointless. Did you know that ER visits increase dramatically the week after the Spring Ahead time changing? Life threatening cardiac events rise significantly after the time change forward. Amazing, right?

Hope all of your Halloween festivities or non festivities were fun. My driveway trick or treat was not great, but I did have fun talking with the two neighbor houses that were doing the same! One neighbor blames our dark street for the lack of trick or treaters. Could be. But when I was a kid I loved the dark, creepy streets! LOL! We watched the 1999 Johnny Depp version of Sleepy Hollow on Netflix as our adult Halloween treat. I had never seen it. I enjoyed the revision of the story.

I enjoyed Reese's PB cups last night. Yes, yes I did! All 5 of them were eaten without guilt and plenty of childlike enjoyment. To me that's a hell of a win. You know me, I can binge on chocolate candy with fantastic abandon. As a reward for my moderation yesterday, the scale was down a pound. Now, I must re-home all the left over Reese's cups. BB, shall I send them to you?

NUT appointment was a little hard on Friday. I found myself feeling sort of emotional discussing some of the things of which I became aware over the past weeks. Funny how things come to the surface when you least expect them. Oh well....

Off to groom!

I'd be fine with abandoning DST!