Monday, October 26 2020

Weight 155.4

I had to get on here because I've had one of those days where my weight jumped by 3lbs. I've been consistently 152.4. And all of a sudden this and I'm hyperventilating. I have those thoughts of "is this it?" I've been there many times before but I always wonder if this is the beginning of regain for me. Even though it wasn't that long ago I wa****ting 165, 167.

Argh. This weight thing is beginning to be a struggle for me. And for the first time in my life not as much physically as mentally. I like lower numbers on the scale. I like the compliments. And my mind seems to have reset. All my life I thought I was fat. I have received compliments again for the first time in many years. I love it. But rather than being satisfied with that, my mind has reset to 152 is the new normal, or the new fat if you will. I recognize it as something I need to work through.

The bizarre thing is that I feel like I'm not even trying to lose weight (though I may desperately want to) and yet here we are. Which is why the weight gain feels accurate. Like somebody taking back what wasn't mine in the first place.

Whew got that off my chest.

We finally have a taste of DD's winter weather. It's 34 for a high today and possibly icing. I do love winter weather because we don't get much of it (no love for ice, though) but could it please like pump the breaks for a month?! Here's what we deal with in Oklahoma: I took the girls to a pumpkin patch on Wednesday and it was 88 degrees outside. We were sweaty messes. Thursday was the same. Saturday and Sunday were drastically cooler and now today and tomorrow are under winter weather advisories.

We had a couple over on Friday night. He's gluten free and dairy free. I used to be put out by these types of people. And the ones who just do it for novelty do still frustrate me. But I tried to have "fun" with it and he was very humbled by the effort so that felt good. I just so happened to have vegan queso dip from TJ's (actually really good!), and GF tortilla chips from there as well so I had that as an app. The main meal was intended to be fallish even though temps were in the 40s! It was brined grilled pork chops, roasted root vegetables, and a fall salad with apple, fig and balsamic vinaigrette, candied pecans, and honey chevre for those consuming dairy. Poached pears for dessert.

I just found out that my inlaws are coming into town for Thanksgiving. We need to start closing out my SIL's estate and I think they are just feeling the need to grieve together on this first holiday.

Doing well BB! I plan to step on the scale later thus week but am NOT looking forward to it. If I am only up 3 pounds I may take that as a win. But I know how you feel!!! I just remembered that I need a food scale here so ordered one via Amazon.

It is interesting spending 100% of the time with Mike. Pluses and minuses. I guess we will see what wins out. He tends to get snappy when asked too many questions, but how can I find things for cooking etc. unless I ask? He somewhat seems to expect that I can read his mind. He makes "plans" and has a hard time deviating. And he definitely has a solitary routine here that he seems to sink into. Which at times is fine, but not all the time. It feels like I am supposed to fit in without having any impact? Adjustment is hard though and I am sure that some things I do annoy him such as my getting ready routines. I will likely be here for another 8-10 days before going to my place and if it doesn't feel more comfortable at that point maybe it isn't meant to be? Or maybe it is just too soon to be spending this much time together?

Anyway today will be more errands such as sending DSD the clothing I retrieved from her apartment.

Have a safe, healthy and mostly social day!

Its hard Liz when you are together 24/7 and changing environments. Its a work in progress to move from seeing each other to living together for a period of time. Maybe a chat to flush everything into the open and address it ? You might find hes feeling similar to you and it can all be sorted with a conversation - in a positive way xxx

BB, thanks for getting us started !! Your scale will look much kinder tomorrow ! Liz, 24/7 is certainly an adjustment and routines can be a challenge to merge. I like your "if it is meant to be" attitude !! Check out TT for today's post.

Well I woke up to unending sirens, high winds, the stench of smoke, raining ashes and this:

A fire in Irvine, upwind of me and a mile away. Though I think I have enough houses between me and the hillside to not have to worry, both Ferg and my primitive fight or flight instincts are telling us we are too close. He's panting and I'm on high alert.

So much so I forgot to weigh myself this morning. I just shot out of bed with "fire!" in my thoughts. So I will take yesterday's weight as my Monday weigh in. I was down 2 for the week and 17.2 overall.

Now they are evacuating the first of the two neighborhoods between me and the hills. That escalated quickly as the kids say. I understand they are using air support. Bless the people who fly in these conditions to do that. And those who fight on the ground.

Okay. Off to monitor Twitter because our local news doesn't think anything is news unless it happens in LA County.

My house is in the red circle, hence the choking smoke.

Okay... now the mandatory evacuation line stops 4 houses from me. Not comforting!

OMG Ceci... what is your plan ? Make reservations somewhere ! Positive thoughts.

Well, I showered and washed my hair knowing I was too grimy to encounter cute firemen while being evacuated...

I just need my purse, phone/iPad, Ferg, Ferg food and meds, my meds, clothes, house deed, car titles, and my mom?s jewelry. Nothing else is that important or is online.

I think their evacuation line is really conservative and covering a worst case scenario more than it's a threat. (Knock on wood!). The winds seem to be calming from the 50mph gusts of this morning, so that's good.

PS - my friend said I can go to her house if it comes to that. I have my dad's house too.

Cecily, please go now. grab fergie and meds and purse. let us know when you are at a safe place. DianeS