Saturday, September 26, 2020

Oh boy! Very good, but somewhat intense session with the nutritionist yesterday. Lots to mull over and consider. It is very, very hard for me to not at least pretend to focus on weight loss. Going on a diet would be so much easier than dealing with the emotional cargo of the eating disorder. In the long run, this is the right path, but it's tough and not so easy at times.

That said, I'm going to commit to skipping the scale on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday of next week. As Samantha Stephens says in the first episode of Bewitched, "Maybe I can taper off!"

Liz, I enjoy the vicarious thrill of your budding romance. One of the joys of being gay is that there are no traditional roles to play. I have enjoyed being the planner and the recipient of romantic plans. I do miss that a little, I must admit. The start of young/new love is such a delightful time. The lilt in your heart is so apparent in your posts. Enjoy and savor every minute and share it with us!

Ceci, do what feels right with the new found relative. However, remember for "loners" or those of us who balk at new experiences or who are simply socially shy, it is sometimes good to step outside of the comfort zone. I will always be thankful that I met Shirley and John for dinner. It was a push for me to do that, because I am truly shy about that kind of situation. I finished that evening having created memories that will stay with me forever and gained a new friend in a few short hours. Really. I didn't push myself to get together with Shel when I had the opportunity, mostly because I was busy, but still, I could have somehow managed it. I will regret wasting that opportunity. I met my dad's estranged brother in my 50s and became a co-caretaker for him with my dad. While we didn't become close, I do believe I helped him at the end of his life be much more comfortable and well cared for than he would have been otherwise. Sometimes these opportunities pop up for a good reason. Never hurts to explore the possibilities.

More than anything I think my COVID experience has taught me that life counts NOW. It's not something we need to put off. Sure, if we can't afford something, you wait until you can. But, leave the window sills dusty for a day or a week, if it means you can go kayaking (cuz damn, those pics were awesome!), or RV'ing, or dog showing, or.... I'm so done ruling my feelings by my weight and how I look, I could just spit. So, I've focused on getting better. I've got a hell of a long way to go. But, I've decided I can't wait to live because I'm fat. I am, we are, all so much more than our weight, skin aprons, back fat, love handles, man boobs, bat wings, bellies and butts, etc....

Ooooohhhh.... a little piece of deliciousness! I was referred by my chiropractor for a medical necessity massage! Our county is allowing massage with medical need. There is a facility cooperating with the county and I have a 90 minute massage scheduled there at 5:00 pm. I am ready for that bit of luxurious self care..... YES! And hopefully, my lower right back pain will ease up in the process.

Enjoy your weekends. Let's make 'em count for something!

Excellent food for thought, Devon! It's definitely out of my comfort zone, but maybe I need that.

And you're so right about living in the moment! Jealous of your massage...

Totally agree that we have to live NOW! Imperfect bodies have as great a right to take up space, and be, as any other body. My thighs look just like you would expect the thighs of a woman who lost 140 pounds and regained 30 would look. Damn if I'm not going swimming, on a public beach, anytime I can. Someone doesn't like it, look away. How to get a beach body? 1. Have a body. 2. Go to the beach. I am militant on these issues. Now, there were things my previous size precluded because I was out of shape and losing mobility. Somethings were just not physically comfortable. Some theater seats just plain hurt!! But anything I wanted to do that I physically could, I did it. If my kids wanted to go canoeing, even though I figured the canoe would ride low on my end while my 40 pound kid paddled in the front, we were going anyhow. They would remember me, hanging out with them, not that I was fat.

And Devon, I have a feeling if I met you in person, I would notice that you have a charisma that draws people to you, and I would be extremely interested in hearing your perspective on many topics, but maybe we could talk about Sondheim? And perhaps Fosse? Clearly nothing to do with what size we currently are.

Yes, absolutely "life counts NOW"!!!!

BTW, remember my weight issues about one of the early dates? Though Mike works hard at eating healthy he probably has about 40 pounds extra that he would like to lose... Better eating once we get to Florida. But interesting that the weight doesn't bother me with Mike.

I'm loving lurking in this conversation. Nothing to add. Just want to say I'm loving it!

Great to see you here Ann!!!