VSG Maintenance Group
08/26/2020, Wednesday
Diane, glad to hear you have lots of confidence in your radiation team ! Positive thoughts for a smooth day/week after. Liz, LOVE the colors in that dress !! You glow with happiness !! Peps, good for you for finding and using the new equipment ! Ceci, you've got this !! Diane, the pool to yourself ! That is so fortunate ! Shirl, how great to be leaving for the farm ! When are your calves due ?
I'll be channeling Shirl as we do a self guided tour of a bison ranch today, then make a fresh dinner selection at their store. I have to look up some good bison seasonings ! Have a great day, all !
Age: 64; 5' 5"; High weight: 345; Start weight: 271 (01/05/15); Surgery weight: 218 (05/27/15); Pre-Op (-53); M 1 (-18); M 2 (-1.5); M 3 (-13.5 ); M 4 (-13); M 5 (- 8); M 6 (-12) M 7 (-5, Xmas); M 8 (- 9) Under surgeon's goal and REACHED HEALTHY BMI 12/07/15!! (Six months and one week.) AT GOAL month 8. Maintaining at goal range (139- 144) ~ four (4) years !!
Weight 121.4 so down a pound. Yeah! Of course there is dinner out again today, but at least it is after kayaking so I will have a fair amount of exercise. Yes Mike is coming again today.
I also have to figure out if I can fit in a visit with a cousin vacationing down here today or tomorrow. When it rains, it pours.
So impressed at how quickly Australia is getting things under control (quite different from the US). I am happy that DD is bring well taken care of. But I am jealous of you good cooks! You may have noticed that my post on cooking or not cooking (photo taken surreptitiously by Mike) was very much commented on. I sure have a reputation for not cooking!
Have a safe and healthy day!
Liz 5'3" HW: 219 SW: 185 GW: 125 LW: 113 Desired maintenance range: 120-125 CW: 119ish
Monday is the beginning of workshop week at school. Oh boy, things are heating up. We just learned that on our class rosters will be our hybrid students, each group who will receive in person and online lessons (although still not sure how I would be teaching group A online, when I would be teaching group B in person), AND a group of students who will entirely be online. The entirely on line students cannot be expected to attend a live streamed class. They have to have the option of doing class work on their own schedule, that is one of the features online learning offers. Yikes! Maybe being on leave the first few weeks is a blessing...
Had a nice evening with DH and DD. Another huge blessing: DD being home with us, especially now. She is so easy to live with, and helps out so much. Yesterday I took a nap, and woke up to dinner in the oven (lovely meal dropped off by some family friends), table set, spotless kitchen and the dishwasher humming.
Let's see, today will be radiation, laundry, and probably reading. Super hot and muggy (mid 90s), but sounds like a cool front is coming.
on 8/26/20 9:43 am
Good morning! I was down 2 more pounds of carb bloat today.
I float through my days and when I look in mirrors I see what I need to see but not what's really in front of me. I think our brains have a way of skewing reality to avoid facing uncomfortable truths. And that's why seeing pictures of yourself can be so shocking when we've gained weight.
That day to day reflection hasn't changed for me even with gaining all this weight back. I can brush my hair and get dressed in front of mirrors and nothing jars me. But yesterday I had a moment where I truly saw myself for the first time in a long time. It wasn't nice. The puffy face, the way my shirt was clinging, the way my back gets rounded from extra weight. But maybe it's what I needed along with the shock BMI to make a U turn? I'm sure you all get tired of this kind of stuff from me. I get tired of it. Thinking I've found some hidden well of motivation and this time will be different. I appreciate you putting up with me and my ramblings!
Anyway, more of the same today. Trying to eat well, tracking, a walk...
Hope you all have a good day!
You speak our language, lady !! Your tribe has your back!! But, by the grace of God, go I. We all spend time digging out of the hole. You've got this !! You are loved !
Age: 64; 5' 5"; High weight: 345; Start weight: 271 (01/05/15); Surgery weight: 218 (05/27/15); Pre-Op (-53); M 1 (-18); M 2 (-1.5); M 3 (-13.5 ); M 4 (-13); M 5 (- 8); M 6 (-12) M 7 (-5, Xmas); M 8 (- 9) Under surgeon's goal and REACHED HEALTHY BMI 12/07/15!! (Six months and one week.) AT GOAL month 8. Maintaining at goal range (139- 144) ~ four (4) years !!
You'll get no sighs or eye rolling from me. My re gain puts me back into the land of plump, chubby, fat, however one prefers to describe it. I am still light years away from where I was, but I would no longer look at myself and say I am thin, or at a normal weight. I did like being thin, and looking good in most pictures, and looking cute in just about everything I wore. But I am definitely chubby again. I live with this knowledge without hating myself, but still search for how to roll back some of the regain. Right now, the best I can do is not gain anymore. I feel okay with this as my goal for now, and I think I can do it.
Oh, my sister from different mister! LOL! I feel tired of my own "****", too! However, I do not tire of yours - cuz it's not ****! It's how we perceive our own issues that are hard to figure out. However, we, we are here to have your back!
Funny how our lives occasionally parallel. I had two self awareness moments in the past 24 hours. The first was doing Back to School Night on Zoom. I looked like the happy round faced man! The second came not too many minutes ago coming in from outside after cooling off a little from my elliptical workout. I saw myself in the mirror. NOT PRETTY.
I hope you have found some motivation, but want you to remember that doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome will only bring disappointment.
Hugs, my friend.
on 8/26/20 7:37 pm
My therapist is all over me with how it's never been about the food, but about my paralyzing fear of letting people in/being vulnerable and not feeling worthy of love (probably why Brene Brown strums so many chords). So I eat to fill the voids and we all know eating for reasons other than physical hunger/nourishment never meets the need. But it doesn't stop me from frantically throwing food in there to try to plug the hole... I think the isolation of Covid has just made the holes bigger. I am trying to work on the fear, vulnerability, and worthiness problem.
