08/15/2020, Saturday

I am in a bit of a slump. I am five pounds over the high end of my range AND just above my WW Lifetime allowable range. My mother's independent living facility is now scheduling pre-arranged visitations in a designated area, once a week. I have not seen my brother or two sisters since Christmas, and my mother since late January. There is a contentious discrepancy among my siblings and I about how to proceed. My mother is 93, and would do anything to avoid discord. Two of us feel my mom's health is paramount and there should be masks and no close contact (hugging). Two of us feel that every time we see our mom could be our last, and hugs are fine. One sister feels no masks and/or social distancing are necessary. Things are getting *****ly and uncomfortable.

Leg is almost healed. We found a new RV dealership to service SS, and had a detailed walk through with them to identify and address unresolved issues. They were thorough and personable. We her dewinterized and will be using her again within the state, in safe areas. We usually went to Maine late September or early October, but don't want the risk. South Carolina is off the table for a bit.

Liz, so happy you are giddy !! You deserve it !! I like Mike's go for the gusto outlook ! DD, thinking about you and sending healing vibes as you begin radiation. All of your flowers and family activities are outstanding. Peps, your classroom photos and planning are so inspiring !! Your positive attitude shines through. I hear you on the struggles with the camera. Any plans for when your gym closes ? Diane, I envy you your pool time and snow peas ! I'd love to borrow your DH to help mine set up our Fire stick and accompanying toys as an alternative to cable in RV when it is not available. We are NOT investing in dish type options. Ceci, can't wait to see the completed garden project. How is the magic garden coming? Give Fergs a hug for me !! Shirl, your progress on retaining wall is joyous ! Hope you find the farm and critters well ! Kudos on the hair color ! BB, eager to continue to observe your balancing career/parenting thoughts and progress.

Love you all !

Hi Diane! So good to see your face and hear from you. Sounds like your slump is related to issues around visiting your Mom so hopefully that can be resolved somehow. Could your Mom dictate her preference or are you afraid she will be too lenient? My 2 cents: So I am not the most cautious nor the most free-wheeling so weigh my thoughts based on that. If I were your Mom, I would want 1 hug from a visiting child with masks on (no kisses), then talk while 6 feet apart. I don't think I could stand not having any physical contact at all with my children.

Weight 120 and holding still.

Great news on SIL yesterday. All 3 SILs attended the telemeeting yesterday with the oncologist following her lab work and cat scan on Wednesday. At the prior check 8 weeks ago they found a new small cancer in her bladder (being removed Friday) and they thought her lymph nodes were starting to increase in size. Yesterday he said that the lymph node change apparently had nothing to do with her cancer because they are back to the prior size!

After that good news the 3 of us went to the local winery to meet friends and DSD. I left my car at SILs. I drove with DSD from the winery to dinner to home. I was putting something in the garage this morning and realized I had left my car at SIL's House!

Mike is coming for the daytime today which I am looking forward to. I am going out to dinner with DS, his birthmom and her husband for the husband's birthday so Mike has to leave before that (since DS isn't okay with him coming). I am going with Mike to western Mass to pick up his granddaughter for a visit on Monday and will stay out there Monday night. That is one of the things ticking DS off.

Anyway, off to get my second cup of coffee. Have a safe and healthy day!

Diane, so good to hear from you. Is the facility your Mom lives at issuing guidelines about visit protocols? One of my friends whose parents live in an assistant living building required each person who wanted to visit to meet with staff for covid training about the facilities rules. Or could her doctor or medical team set the "rules". It is a big contentious issue isn't it? My brother and his family g into my parents house and sit 6 feet away, no masks. I only see them outside, on the deck. If I need to use the bathroom, I enter through the garage service door so I don't need to walk through the house, and don't wear a mask. I can only control me, and I will know if my parents get Covid, it won't be from me. I think your plan to hug your Mom, wearing a mask, is quite safe. Whatever happens, how wonderful to see your mother in person again.

Packing up, last day of our quick getaway. It might rain, it might clear, hard to tell. We'll still find some fun.

My neighbor is having 3 giant cypress trees cut down that touch the fence between us. They must be 4+ stories tall? They are taking off all the limbs first then will take down the trunks. I have a 3 ft deep pile of branches and cypress needles all along that side of my yard. She called and said they would clean it all up, and they are good neighbors so I know they will and I know she hates those trees so I'm happy she's finally getting rid of them like she wanted, but right now my rose bushes are crushed and I keep hearing wood hitting the side of my house. Argh. This kind of stuff makes me crazy. I'm normally a laidback person, but this triggers my anxiety. I'm like Mrs. Kravitz watching out my windows into my backyard freaking out... https://youtu.be/-mdFctlvB3w

Food's not great. It's super hot and we are having rolling blackouts. Last night it was from 7-8 while still 96 degrees, so no a/c then and it took down the closest cell tower, so no phone data either to access the power company website to report the outage (they're supposed to text before a rolling blackout and didn't confusing everyone). I suppose I'd rather have an hour sprung on us than a whole night with no power because something broke from the demand.

Yikes! So much complaining from me! Sorry!

Love me some Bewitched! I loved the original Gladys. Too bad she was ill when she took the role. However, I'm glad she did. She left a legacy creating a cultural icon! Everyone knows that a Gladys Kravitz is a nosey neighbor!

As for venting.... isn't that part of why we are here?

Team Original Mrs. Kravitz (and original Darrin Stephens)!

Love hearing from you, DianeO! I'm sorry about the weight gain. Take comfort in the fact you're doing much better on that front than I am...

Diane Mc, how wonderful to see you starting today's thread!!!! I am so glad your leg is healing. I am sorry you are stressed about the possible visit with your mom. I like the idea of following facility guidelines (if there are any) and taking in your mom's personality and wants, within reason. I am lucky since my dad is part of my little bubble and lives so close by. I gave him a hair cut on Thursday and we had a nice chance to chat.

For some reason, I thought you had gotten rid of SS and decided the RV was not worth the headache it was causing. I must have missed something in your telling about the troubles with the dealership, etc... Could have sworn you were done with the RV life. Hmmmm.....

Since Diane Mc brought up being 5 pounds over the top of her range and Ceci chimed in, too, I want to remind you all that scale weight is simply a measurement of your personal mass affecting gravitational pull on this earth. Scale weight is only ONE reference point we can use to help us measure our health and well being. I am technically 95 pounds over my desired goal weight. Right now, I am thrilled with my weight. It's the lowest I've been since last summer. The number on the scale is showing me that my work relearning how to eat without "dieting" is working. I am honest to God taking a new approach to eating and it's working. I am feeling like I am finally doing something different and actually getting the results. It is hard ass work, but it's easier in one way than JFDI dieting.

We all need to remember weight is flexible and unfixed. We have learned over a lifetime to put so much value in the number on the scale and judge ourselves accordingly. None of us got to obese simply because we simply ate too much. I'm sorry if that offends anyone, but obesity, like anorexia, has a psychological component to it. Knowing that, doesn't it make sense that during times of unprecedented stress and worry some of our old habits and coping skills will come into play? Should we not honor those old friends with grace and either let them know we have things under control and they needn't worry or help us, or invite them in to help us as needed? Coping with food is not evil or bad, but for us should be done with a mindfulness and full acknowledgement of emotional state.

So, while we all have a magic number on the scale we delight in seeing, let's all remember that it's only that: a magical number. I'm sure that I could not tell the difference between how Diane Mc. looks at her desired scale number than she does with 3-5 additional pounds. What really matters is how we feel in our bodies and in our minds. Maybe we should all start considering more how we feel about our mental states, how we are fueling our bodies and how we feel when we choose the fuel that works best for our bodies than the number we see on the scale. Is the way we are eating allowing us to live the type of active lifestyle we want? How do we feel when we move, or sit, or get up from a chair or out of a car? These are things I am learning are of much more importance than the number on the scale.

I think we need to release the Power of the Scale.

I have an idea to throw out there for us to consider. Instead of trying to get to a specific weight, how about getting to size at which you FEEL good in your skin, in your clothes and in the freedom of your movement; your mental state feels healthy, and you can look in a mirror and feel good and accept what you see with honesty and THEN STEP ON THE SCALE TO SEE WHAT THE NUMBER IS THAT GOES ALONG WITH HOW GREAT YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF?

Well, Jiminy Cricket! Best got off my soapbox and on with the day.

Love to you all!

Jiminy Cricket! DH's uncle Mike used to always say that instead of...