Friday, 8/14/2020

Weight 120.2. Still holding at the low end and as I just replied to Devon I am definitely smitten so maybe that is somehow revving my metabolism???

Yesterday was 11 hours with Mike after spending 10 hours the prior day. This time he came to my beach, we took a couple of walks at my favorite places, then went out to dinner. Never a lull in the conversation. So many similar values and goals.

DS is not happy about it... Interesting...

Today Mike is golfing and I am doing something with my friends. I think I will miss him!

Have a safe and healthy day (physically and emotionally)!

Pics from my walk this morning:

Liz, my dad was 68 when my mom died. He also dated "too soon" after my mom's passing for my brother and me. I was 33 when my mom died. At that time I thought he should really be in mourning for a full year. LOL! I also knew my dad well enough to know that his first initial dating was rebound dating. He was dating living versions of my mom - good looking German women. Kids can be very weird about parents dating after the loss of the other parent. Doesn't matter their age. You have many options on how to deal with DS, but when it comes right down to it, it's on him how he deals with it. His feelings aren't your responsibility.

Weight 266.4. This is good. It feels like a real weight. I will continue eating the way I'm eating to see if the moderate downward trend continues.

I am determined to not let school influence or challenge my positive eating changes. When I was at school yesterday, I felt the pull of chocolate and saw the office clerk's dish on her table spilling over with tempting foil wrapped treats. I dealt with the reflex to go over and help myself in a positive way, but boy, oh boy, old habits were ready to jump right back in and pick up where they left off in March.

As mentioned yesterday, expected high today is well over 100. 106 or 107 depending on which forecast is referenced. Either way, it's going to be hot!!!!

Thank you for your insight Devon. That helps a lot. DS seemed okay with me dating at first, but I think the fact that it seems a bit more frequent with Mike is hard for him. He actually said that last night - that I had complained that more than twice a week was too much seeing David so why is it okay with Mike? Of course, you know that is because I enjoy being with Mike a LOT more than I did David (which is apparently what is making DS nervous). DS actually said he doesn't want to meet Mike unless I have been dating him for at least 4-5 months. Interesting...

My husband was 29 when his Mom passed away, unexpectedly. His Dad was coming up on 60. He died 3 years later, truly, of a broken heart. My husband practically begged him to date, reassuring him that none of his kids would object. (Not sure if that would have been true). My husband maintains his father would have lived longer if he had a new partner. Because FIL s loneliness made such an impression on us, DH and I have talked about the need to go on with life for the surviving partner. These are strange times, so your son doesn't know that you are giving him a gift. When he can go out into the world again, pursue his career, fall in love, live his life, it will be a gift to know that you are okay and had the courage to make a new life.

Thank you Diane. This makes me feel less selfish.

IMO, you should not feel selfish - at all! You have spent the last several years being the primary care giver to a very high needs husband. Doesn't matter that you did it because you loved him deeply. That level of care takes a toll.

You are entitled and deserve to explore the life options for your future! Perhaps DS needs to be reminded that the Paul who was your husband and life partner left you long before his body did. You have had a few years to adjust to being alone and without a partner in life. DS may not really understand that. All he knows is he lost his dad.

Moms and Dads are magical beings to kids. I don't think it's until we are really quite mature that we are able to understand that our parents are real normal people, like everyone else. Until we are mature enough to realize it, we put unrealistic expectations on how our parents should deal with the cards life deals them. And let's face it, most boys take longer to reach that level of maturity. (I can say that, cuz I'm a boy! LOL)

I was super angry when my dad started dating his current wife after my mom died. It wasn't adult or rational, but it was there all the same. I didn't want to hear about her, spend time with her, hear their "how we met" story told to others in front of me over and over. I eventually got over it and really like her now, but it took a long while. It was never her personally I had a problem with, but what it represented - that my dad had moved on from my mom. Time and room to get there on my own was what I needed. My dad never got mad at my reaction, just said he was so sorry I was hurting because he wouldn't do that on purpose for the world.

Back from brunch, now on our way to visit wineries that have outdoor tastings. Check back later!

I am so glad you are having a good time!!