Wednesday, 8/12/2020

Weight 120.4 and no skin issues! They just said to wear sunscreen and have my skin checked annually from now on since I am out so much. I am so lucky that I do tan well and I always wear a 60 on my face and a hat. So if I get skin cancer hopefully it won't happen on my face. I had lunch on the beach with SILs before my appointment and SIL asked what I would do if they wanted to do something on my face while I was there (since I have a date today). I decided I would have made a follow-up appointment, but no need thank goodness.

I was thinking about Ferg and old-age. Mike and I have talked about the quick attraction and what to do about it. He commented that he figures he only has 15-20 years to really be able to do things and enjoy life so figures he better not waste time (he is almost exactly 6 months older than me). That kind of resonated.

It is just 7 am, but I am taking a shower in a few minutes so I can pack and be ready to go by 9. I have a dentist appointment to replace a filling on the way to Mike's so will leave straight from there. Hopefully I won't still be drooling when I get arrive at his house. He has been so funny about his house. He lives much closer to the water but I guess it is fairly guy decorated. He spent the day cleaning yesterday. Apparently my home really made him feel self-conscious about his (I have decorated every square inch and don't like clutter).

DS came back early from visiting friends further down Cape Cod. He brought me this tee-shirt from Provincetown!

Have a safe and healthy Wednesday!

I forgot to tell you something funny! I deactivated my online dating account for now since I am seeing Mike so much (I can easily reactivate it). Just before I did, it showed a match with a really high number of common points and it is a friend of mine who lives in NH and lost his wife a few years ago to cancer. I have gotten together with him as a friend but no sparks. Just so funny to see a familiar face!

Liz-I'll be following about this Mike guy! Last I heard I thought you were worried about settling (but that was someone else I think)?

Weight-155.2

But I'm feeling very heavy. My husband made a good point. He said "Bonnie, surely you don't think just 1lb. truly makes the difference between you being "fat" or not." I do sometimes feel that way. I hate the power this scale holds over me.

I've been busy grading a bar exam question and now Rich is taking the next 3 days off (we were supposed to all be on vacation this whole week). Not only were we supposed to be on vacation, but we were going to take advantage of the time away and have our kitchen cabinets painted white. The destruction and fumes would be too much for the girls, I think. Our only real other option is to go away during Labor Day. Peps just flew, right? My dream would be to go to an all inclusive in Can****he travel agent we use said you must wear masks all during flight and airport transfers and in the inside lobby area of an all inclusive. But apparently they take your temperature and are at below 30% capacity. And since the dining is there on site, there's a part of me that wonders if there's less exposure. Whereas Miami, for example, to stay in BIL's condo we would have to either cook at home the entire time or go out. We probably will skip it altogether but I really need a vacation and it would be so nice.

I don't think the Big XII has pulled the plug on football yet but I'm sure it's soon. I'm just kind of speechless. How could everything planned for 2020 go so terribly wrong?

I had the girls in an in-home daycare last week. As that week grew near I began to worry about my options for my kids. But I knew I needed SILENCE to grade exam questions. It all worked out so well. I really enjoyed the break from them and the feeling of accomplishment that comes from working away from home. But I can also tell you that my schedule was pretty loose, often dropping off at 9 and picking up at 4:30. And that was still hard. I am continuing to try and figure out what will be best for my family for this stage in life. I did get a lead on a job that would be ideal. I'm almost too scared to apply because it's one I think I'd be actually disappointed not to get. And maybe even more disappointed then that to get and decide not to take (if that were the case).

Tough decision on that job but I think you should explore it and see what happens.

Yes, Mike is a new guy - all of 8 days but today was the 4th date and all but the first have been 8-10 hour all day dates because we live an hour from each other. We are having a lot of fun - he is very comparable to me in terms of background, goals, financially, and living situations. He already met DSD and I met his DD today.

I feel like I haven't posted in ages, though it's only been three days or so.

Scale weight benefitted from a day of fasting prior to eye surgery. I am back down to the pre-Ohio low: 266.6 this morning.

BB, I flew. I travelled with a 6 year old. Wearing a mask for the entire flight(s) was not easy for her. There were many times, too, that we had to return to wherever it was we had just left because she left her mask lying about. I had a good time, though, but I can see if you are a high stress level traveller, right now might not be the time to do it with two toddlers in tow. If you are up for an adventure, go for it! There are some great travel "hacks" for flying during Covid out there to keep you and your family safe. Check them out, then make your decision.

I talked with my shrink the other day about noticing that my male friends and female friends and friends with strong support systems in place at home vs. those who live alone deal with Covid19 lifestyle restrictions very differently. It is an interesting phenomenon. I'm not sure how I would be dealing with this without Ron and my "bubble" of support. I think I have it pretty good, all things considered.

My eye is pretty bloodshot, but doesn't hurt any longer. Yay! I'm looking forward to getting the eye guard removed and to hear what the doc says about continued aftercare. Will let you all know about the drops.

I may have mentioned Ron, too, was diagnosed with cataracts. He saw the ophthalmologist on Monday. Not only does he have cataracts, but he also has an ocular disease known as Fuchs Dystrophy. He will most likely need at some point a corneal transplant. For now, the doc is going to remove all the little corneal blisters with a laser when Ron has cataract surgery and go from there. Needless to say, Ron was feeling rather low. He thought he was going blind, which is not the case. Fuchs doesn't cause loss of complete vision, just blurry vision.

I started back to school on Monday. Diane C., take as much time off as you need. It's a scary teaching world out there right now! I would love to not be doing what I am about to have to do. The expectations for student engagement are pretty high. I'm a little worried how parents are going to cope with the online teaching schedule. However, it is really unsafe at this point to open schools in my county.

Still wondering about what I'm willing to do to reach my "vision" goal for my weight. I have to say it is an interesting approach and one that I am enjoying exploring.

Well, off to the ophthalmologist. Enjoy the day.

Yeah, it would be just Rich and me (and leave the kids with grandparents, and get kitchen painted while we're all away).

I wonder if they require masks for infants/toddlers on airplanes because so far they do not (cannot) enforce it here as part of store or city mandates on those so young. My kids won't even keep their shoes on, binkys in mouths, much less a mask!

I guess there are two things that would make me anxious about traveling in time of covid. The AI take your temperature and if you have one, supposedly they go ahead and quarantine you. What if you have a fever reading from a sunburn? Would I be stuck there? Away from kids?!

And then also I wonder if I would need to stay clear of my parents upon returning?! But the whole point is to be able to stay with them so kitchen can be finished. Plus...I miss my parents.

So many thoughts. Still, I feel like if done right it's not the riskiest. But obviously not the least risky either.

Fergus's Backwards and facing up toenail has been removed! Ick. It's such a production to get him out of the car (getting in is pretty easy, I lift his front feet in and then his back end). Being blind in one eye and cataracted in the other and very unsteady makes his "dismounts" difficult. He can't jump out even though it's low because I think he's unsure where the ground is. I got a little fake grass covered ramp, but since falling from a ramp, he's super suspicious about that too. There was a nice man there waiting for his dog and he came over and crouched down and called to Ferg. He made his way down to get scritches (he loves men and kids best). So nice of him to help us out! And while we waited he made friends with a little girl who gave him lots of love. He was in heaven.

Dr. Lori is awesome and came out to discuss Ferg's wobble/feet issues. She was like "good Lord he's got a lot of ailments!" We agreed that happy and comfortable are the main goals. So we're not going to do an MRI that would definitively tell what is going on with his spinal cord. Could be his spondylosis pinching it, could be degenerative myelopathy. But given that any treatments would not be appropriate for a 13 year old big dog with a heart problem, we're just focusing on happy and comfortable. Bonus, they trimmed his front nails. His whole life I've never had to get them trimmed because he wore them down naturally, but with limited slow walks, that isn't happening anymore. Probably why the one broke.

I got the birdbath into the backyard, but not in place. Still need to pull out a bush. So much packing material to get rid of! I also pulled out my drawing supplies and thought I'd give that a whirl again. Food still not great. off to call the dealership about an oil change...

So glad for Fergus that he has a good primary care vet! There is no sense in diagnosing exactly what is causing the drop foot and neuropathy in his feet and legs because invasive treatment is out of the question. When my Toby was suffering from degenerative disc disease morphine patches were great to get him through the painful days. We didn't bother with steroids because of the side effects. I am a huge proponent of Happy and Comfortable.

Yes! That was the third thing she mentioned it could be - disc damage. He doesn't seem like he's in pain so that's good. but I will remember the morphine patches. She said we can still up his tramadol as he's on a small amount and/or add gabapentin if needed, but that that will make him loopier, sleepier and less balanced than he already is. Drugged out asleep in the corner doesn't seem to meet my "happy" criteria though it meets "comfortable". We agreed it wasn't time but I did say if his walking got more difficult, that would be when I would let him go. Keeping my fingers crossed on the reinforced socks. She also mentioned some people try leg braces, though she said she's only used them for torn acl support. I feel like that would make it harder for him to stand up from a down position?

Quality of life for Ferg (and humans) is most important but sometimes difficult to assess.