07/21/2020, Tuesday

Quick pop in !! DD, positive thoughts and energy your way for an outstanding outcome !! Peps said it best !!

Breakthrough moment Peps (active v. passive). Perhaps another step is identifying what healthy means to you (emotionally, physically, spiritually). I am willing to make choices to support/enhance my health is much more wholistic and reflects the balancing act we all perform. Focusing solely on the number on the scale is not beneficial for me.

So glad you popped in Diane!!! I really didn't want to see my face on the discussion page again.

Weight 121.2. In range and mostly eating what I should though there was wine again. DS decided to cook and invited the SIL's over. Now that he feels better he is back in gear and is planning meals for all of them for the week (I won't be here the next 2 nights). He is happy and they are happy so that's what counts!

The bereavement Support group was good yesterday. More lighthearted discussion than previously. The last time we met we shared pictures and stories of who our loved one was prior to dementia and how we met. I think that helped set the tone for yesterday which is how does one spend their time and what makes them feel better (pets, being active outside, listening to music, exercising).

I had lunch at the harbor with a friend whose husband is moving to the same memory care facility that DH was in next week. Such a difficult decision! Each phase of the crappy disease brings new torment. She is at the point I was with DH in hoping that they don't linger too long. There really is nothing of the person they were left and it is so difficult to deal with that for both the individual and their caregiver.

Today is BEACH (it will be close to 90 today). I am meeting my former co-worker/friend and her husband for dinner. But first, the trash is out, the laundry is in and needs to be folded before I leave.

Have a safe and healthy day! And if DD sees this I will be thinking of you all day.

Thinking about DD today and hoping all goes well.

Our weather was supposed to warm up today, but so far it is promising to be gorgeous day. It's not quite 70 yet, so I'm guessing we will hit only low to mid 80s, which in my thinking is perfect summer weather. We are close enough to the Bay and Pacific that our weather is greatly influence by the ocean. That's why we cool off so nicely in the evenings.

My head is full. So much to consider. A thought that popped up yesterday was that I equate losing weight with being hungry. That is one of the things that made WLS a fairly easy go for me- I was rarely, if at all, hungry the first several months after WLS. Once again, I expect to feel hungry if I am losing weight/dieting. If I don't feel that deep hunger, which is pretty uncomfortable on an ongoing basis, I don't feel like I'm doing "it" right. I also decided yesterday, that while I think I should focus on losing a few pounds before I travel, that is "should" thinking. The truth is that right now I want to figure some of this stuff out and this week, or at least the next few days, are not the times to focus on weight loss. I think a better long term focus is figuring ways to uncover some of my deeper thinking about wanting to be thin vs. actually losing weight (passive vs. active).

Weight was still in my acceptable for now 2 pound range (267-269); 268.4

I felt productive yesterday, too. We got a load of bags out of the garage and down to Good Will. (Sadly, Good Will was not accepting donations yesterday. They were overwhelmed. We will go back today.) We got ran to Bed, Bath, and Beyond to pick up new steam mop pads, stopped at Smart and Final for Beef Jerky, came home and CLEANED! The entire house was vacuumed and dusted and steam mopped before we had dinner. Oh, boy, did that feel good. We worked as a team, which was also nice. I vacuumed and dusted. Ron steam mopped. The house looks and smells fresh and clean. The new floors are so nice to clean!

Busy day today - a house call hair cut at 10 (salons are once again shut down here, but retail is open????), private work out session at noon, and a 4:00 pm grooming. I really want to get a yoga session in today and get the bags dropped off at Good Will and have to run by the post office to mail a medical form back to a parent for one of my students.

Let's all channel some tenacity today for Diane C.! Here's to her strong body and mind and lots of love surrounding her as the surgeon skillfully removes the cancer from her body so that this surgery is a curative one!

Now that is another interesting thought - that you don't feel you are doing it right unless you are super hungry. I think that is why I didn't feel like I was dieting on WW. I didn't feel overly hungry. And I somewhat tackled cravings with sweet substitutes. I have to admit that I was somewhat surprised every time I saw a drop on the scale that I did lose the weight without a lot of angst.

Isn't that interesting? I don't fear physical hunger. I don't even really mind it (probably because I feel it so rarely). Head hunger, or not feeding my emotionally-based craving calls for crappy food is what I hate and feel owned by at times.

Hi everyone, just a quick post to say I'm home, and your support and caring has meant the world to me. What a blessing to have a group of friends who know the good the bad and the ugly about you, and still hold you so kindly, thank you.

Sore, but every minute I lay in my own bed is a minute I feel better. DH is next to me, snoring gently. It is the best sound ever.

Back to dozing, I woke up to have a sip of some flat diet coke and a couple of Saltines.

Welcome home! Hope your family spoils you while you recover!

So glad you are home and recovering.

I am glad you are home and in your own bed. Rest and recover!

So good to hear you are home and resting well. Diane S