Monday, July 20, 2020

It's all so depressing, isn't it? I have to keep reminding myself it's not forever.

Yeah - I was doing ok, I think cause we could still go to the farm which grounds me and see the grandbabies

Not so much now - but will work through it

I should be and am thankful but its hard when its winter, cold and wet and you cant do much, Im not a winter girl at the best of times. Sunshine brightens my soul

As someone learning to embrace my own emotions, it's okay to just be angry and sad about the losses now. You can be thankful later.

You are a Gem Cec - thank you x

Shirl, two things that may help: Legally, it seems you can still go to the Farm. So, maybe the worry is for naught and borrowing trouble from the future. Just be self assured if you get stopped.

Second, you know your "babies" are in excellent hands. You can face time and talk on the phone. My grandparents lived 4 hours away, so when I got to see them it was all the more special. Think of the celebration you can have when your stage 4 lifts! Maybe planning a reunion will make the time apart easier.

I had two vacations with the RV get cancelled today. One was a quick trip up to Tahoe National Forest. We had reserved a lovely RV site on a stream that feeds the Truckee River. A small remote camp ground with only 17 sites. I was feeling pretty secure about that. Just got word today they are closing the site - not due to Covid, but due to tree hazards the forest service is going to deal with. The other was a trip in January to Palm Springs for the premier dog show of the year. We camp with teh RV on a Polo Field on an AMAZING polo club (talk about MONEY!!!) The show was cancelled today. So, so sad. So many of my friends were looking forward to that show as it is completely outside and we thought for sure it would be the first big show we could attend. Boooooo!

I am taking the better safe than sorry attitude and know that when it is safe, life will resume in fits and spurts.

Thanks Peps xxx You are right

So sorry your trips got cancelled :( I loved Tahoe and also Truckee. What a gorgeous little town ! Many happy memories. We stayed in Palm Desert when we went to Joshua Tree National Park. Its also a lovely part of the world

Hope that everything settles enough that you can re-book these wonderful trips x

Greetings Kids

DD will be in out thoughts from now until we hear more. Hope it all goes well and comfortably.

My brother is having stem cells harvested today. I guess they vacuum them out of your blood over 7 or 8 hours. Might have to go back several times. Looks like no fun.

Hope everyone is indeed having a merry Monday. I used to hate Mondays but now I like them as I like the week night tv better than weekends which has no Rachel or Colbert.

Made another surgical strike on the grocery store. Choice of store it totally determined by ease of access and speed of checkers.

We have started watching the series Bosch and are really into it. Ditto Perry Mason.

Snow peas are out of control. And of course we are now sick of them.

Take care all. Diane S

Thinking of your brother too DS xx

I am hooked on Bosch. Really well done! I will have to try Perry Mason too.

Hello! I posted so late yesterday, I felt like I had nothing to say this morning! Consistency would help in this, but is unlikely.

I had a good therapy session today. We talked a lot about enmeshment trauma (I don't like the word "trauma" because I feel like all in all my childhood was a safe one (no abuse), but there's no denying the description of enmeshment trauma fits my relationship with my mother to a T).

Basically, it's when a child puts the emotional needs of their caregiver ahead of their own. They are the peacemakers, the family mediators, can't set boundaries, have trouble making decisions in adulthood, are exceptionally empathetic but can't identify their own emotions to save themselves. They take on their caregiver's emotions, expectations, sense of self, and boundaries instead of having their own. The child overly identifies with the caregiver. Lots of interesting, eye opening stuff to discuss especially given my mother and I both had weight problems.

I also had a nice 3-way video chat with my friend who's in the UK for the summer and another friend here. I miss getting to spend time together.

Anyway, that's all I have for today! Sending hugs...