07/04/2020 Saturday, US Independence Day

The sound of fireworks sets Vets with PTSD and their service dogs on edge. Atlas is picking up on and absorbing some of DC's increased anxiety. My awareness and coping skills are helping me, but I think some water play (lake swimming, pool, sprinkler and paddle boarding) will help both of them. Both dogs LOVE the lake and talking to DC about helping Atlas release some of his tension has a therapeutic effect on DC. (Those special education /teaching roots rock !) Still waiting for remainder of composite wood to be delivered, and I'm working on the front porch posts. We took the railings down and the remaining posts were in rough shape. We removed the ugly decorative corbles and as I began sanding posts to repaint, I realized the wood covering the 4 x 4 posts was rotting and crumbling. Today, I'm going to use my crowbar to strip down to the 4 x 4, and see how that looks. I'll sand and repaint or we may have to have them replaced, as they support the porch roof.

BB, thinking of you and the losses you are absorbing. Like Ceci and Peps, my paternal grandfather committed suicide after the great stock market crash and my maternal grandfather committed suicide by alcohol, both when my parents were young. Be gentle with yourself and take advantage of that pool to increase play with Rich and the girls. DD, your FB picts and posts convey a level of gratitude and serenity that inspire. I loved your statement that verbalizing/journaling leaves a trail of markers to help you back to those feelings. Profound. Liz, love the cushions ! Is DS finding any success finding work ? Has he looked into the personal chef route? Ceci, eager to see pictures of the new bird bath and enchanted witches garden when they arrive/ are completed. Miss 150, Swann is so lucky to have you ! What an investigator !! Is that a pantry your gooseberry jars are in ? Looks like a wonderful space ! PEPS, I totally get wanting to have someone show me how to develop a new skill. I use Youtube more than I care to admit. I can count on one hand the number of times I haven't found exactly what I needed. Good for you with yoga ! Can't wait for pictures of Goat's flooring ! Diane S, Singing Tree nursery looks like a fabulous place ! Make sure to take pictures of that ornamental grass ! Do you allow people without masks to enter the gallery ? Shirl, you are just sooo giving ! Make sure you let family reciprocate and make time for self care to recharge ! Love to all !

Weight 121.2, WW Bluepoints 9.

DS doesn't seem interested in being a personal chef though he did in the past. I don't think he has looked much and only had one interview because everything has been slow to open up. He did talk about stepping it up this month.

And I may soon have another child living here for a while. I talked to DSD in Jacksonville FL last night. She has been very upset at what was happening in Florida but especially at her company which seemed to have blinders on. They required everyone to be in the office (no masks) though all jobs could be performed remotely. Well they closed the office suddenly after 2 employees came down with Covid (different floors from DSD). They are going to have everyone work from home until at least 9/30. So the current thought is that she is going to get Covid tested and assuming it is negative will leave Florida to drive here. Right now Massachusetts is a much safer place to be. She can effectively still quarantine for a bit after arrival here as well if necessary but after that would be able to see other family members.

I am kayaking with David today. A slightly big deal because it means he is coming to my home (we are kayaking on my pond). Hopefully the weather cooperates and it gets sunny by late morning (it is supposed to).

Have a safe and healthy Independence Day and hopefully illegal firework noises will be kept to a minimum!

Diane, isn'****er a healing place? I saw it described once as God's tranquilizer. We are also doing a few chores today preparing for some fun this evening.

Liz I hope your kayaking is also serene and David is the sort of person that is fun to have chats with while floating on the water.

Yesterday was 92 and it was hot. Swimming was delicious. So refreshing, and after several days of near 90s, no need to ease in. DH and I also took out the kayaks, my first time on a big, deep lake. Also very relaxing.

This evening our friends and daughter are coming over for a light dinner. I already bought most of it at Costco. Low stress. We are a quaranteam.

My brother in law is having a family gathering tomorrow. They have 6 children, and everyone is home this weekend. One niece has come from Phoenix with her family. Another niece has a new baby we've yet to meet. I would LOVE to see them, but with nieces/nephews, spouses etc I think it's too many people from too many places, so I'll have to stay home. Even if we stay outside the whole time, seems like a potential buzzfeed story, 10 people sickened at family barbeque.

For all my water lovers: My thighs touch, so I'm halfway to being a mermaid. Who's winning now?

Weight back up to 269.0, which was not a big deal and somewhat expected. I was incredibly sore from my workout on Thursday and slept the night through without getting up to pee. That and the fact that I only drank 24 oz of water yesterday made a bump up in weight seem logical and unalarming.

Tonight I will grill burgers for my core bubble - Ron, BFF and Auntie Kathryn. I have invited my brother and SIL to join us. Not sure if they will. I have seen my brother during the past months, but I don't think I've seen my SIL. Hard to remember, because she's disabled with her migraine headaches so seeing her the past 10 years or so has always been spotty. She misses a lot of family events.

GOAT is done, but I am not satisfied with the final outcome, so I have requested that a finishing strip of some kind be added to the transition between carpet and the vinyl plank flooring. The carpet guy did great work, but the line between the vinyl planks and the carpet just isn't sharp and straight, so it looks a bit shoddy, IMO. For the kind of money I invested for the job, I need a transition that befits my OCD tendencies in that area!

Had another pretty intense session with the nutritionist yesterday.Was all good, but still intense. This week's assignment is to continue to monitor the emotion behind cravings. It is a process to stop and pause and ask myself what is the driving force behind wanting to eat. But it is a process with a lot of benefits. As example, the other day Ron wanted something pastry or cake like. I decided then that I wanted something, too. It was not a reaction that was based on my own desire, but rather the desire not to be left out of an eating treat. I didn't know the root of the desire until later, but I did know that I wanted "something", too, but not cake. Blech! So, I looked through the entire bakery department and chose something I would really enjoy -cookies. I was pretty stoked by my reaction. I ate two. The rest I bagged up and stored in the freezer. Ron has actually had more of them than I have! Go figure!

Liz, love the new cushions. Much brighter. I would love to see a pic posted of the BACK of your home. I have a thing about NE homes. I love to see how people do their screened in porches. Most people here don't do screened porches. In fact, they are very rare. I guess it's because we have such a dry climate and fewer night insects, and it does tend to cool off here in the evening.

Diane O., interesting how you take on PTSD counselor role with such ease. DC must really get anxious for Atlas to pick up on it AND then react with anxiety given his level of intense training. Hope today goes smoothly and DC manages pleasantly. I am assuming that his PTSD goes back to his service in Vietnam. Is that correct?

BB, hope you are finding a little bit of joy and peace today amidst the sadness of your loss.

DD, I ask this with sincerity: What is different about going to the beach among many, many strangers and going to a gathering of family members out of doors? I am curious to know the difference. I would more likely go to the family gathering than to the beach. I loved your mermaid comment. My friend's sister loves to be a mermaid. She loves to have mermaid parties! You know, that's a thing, right?

This pic is off the internet, but very similar to what my friend's sister does.

Hope everyone has a wonderful 4th!

Here is the back AND the front. A pretty traditional Cape Cod house!

Love it! From the front I would have never guessed you were on a downslope. Now the photo of the screen porch makes total sense to me. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IT! I am so envious of your hostas, too! They don't grow well here.

So pretty, Liz!

At the beach, everyone sits 10 feet away at least, and no one comes near me in the water. I know this sounds a little crazy, but it's not much different than any other year in that regard. We are a people who keep a pretty big space bubble. And our density is less, at least at the beaches I prefer, they are never packed. I'm not eating with or talking to anybody besides DH or DD. It's like we're our own little island under our beach umbrella. Not one time has anyone encroached on my space.

At a family gathering, there is the natural tendency to drift towards each other. They aren't social distancing from each other, so I worry they will forget to do so with me. We'll share serving utensils. We would definitely be talking. No one would assure me we would be outside, because it could get hot. My BIL and family think corona virus is real, but it is being over hyped, so I don't think they would share my same level of caution about being indoors together. People have traveled from hot spots like Phoenix. Maybe someone on the beach has too, but we won't be talking, sharing serving utensils, or being in the same space.

Thanks! That makes a lot of sense to me. That type of space respect would be difficult to find here - especially since we are in a very densely populated area. My county has a population of almost 1.2 million. The greater bay area has a population of 7.7 million. Just yesterday I saw a group of young teenage boys all hanging out in a group in close proximity and without masks. They clearly were from different families and ethnic backgrounds. It made me sad.

We had a small get together tonight, as I mentioned. Ron and I sat at one table. My brother and his wife at another. BFF and Kathryn sat at a third table. It was plenty warm, but we had shade and it was late when we started. I was pleased by how well we managed to keep our distance and were still able to have good conversation and enjoy a holiday meal.

After reading your reply, I realize, too, that my family experience is different from many others. My family is small. We have only one cousin who lives in CA and he is a different type of fellow. We have not seen him in over 40 years. My other cousins live in Texas, Virginia, Alabama and Tennessee. I see my cousin in VA every few years but haven't seen any of the others in years and years. We grew up that way, too. So, essentially my family consists of my father, my brother and me. Then I have Ron's family. I guess I think of my family situation as the norm because it is normal to me.

I can see that my family dining experience during covid19 is very much like your beach experience. It happens away from others and the people with whom you do have contact with are people in whom you have absolute trust. Totally makes sense to me.

If I could have a beach experience like you describe, I would go for it. It would be very hard for me to find here.

We have have rolled back opening in S. CA, gatherings are not permitted, cases are rising fast even in my city, fireworks are illegal in my city, so of course last night I could hear groups of people partying and setting off fireworks. I'm back to angry for feeling like one of the few following the rules. And I'm losing my empathy for people who catch it, which is probably not good as it's not necessarily a result of reckless behavior. It could just be associating with someone exhibiting reckless behavior unbeknownst to them.

There was a man who lived in the city next to where my dad lives when he's in CA who was all over the news, you may have seen him. He had been really good about not going out given his obesity and diabetes, but when things started to open up in CA, he was missing his family and friends and went to a barbecue. A "friend" KNEW he was Covid positive, but went to the party anyway, not telling anyone, thinking he couldn't give it to them because he didn't feel sick. AFTERWARDS, he texted people telling them he had it. 12 people got sick. The man the story was about who caught it posted a video telling people what happened, imploring them to take the virus seriously and said he hoped God helped him live through it. He died the following day. I feel like there should be repercussions for knowingly infecting others, though I imagine knowing you killed a friend will be a heavy burden to carry. But maybe legal ramifications would send the point home more strongly.

I must say I'm seriously irritated by the message many in government are trying to push that the protests didn't contribute to the current Covid increases. I'm not saying they weren't warranted as the change is necessary, but this narrative that 26 million estimated people protesting across the country are somehow exempt from the laws of viral science is ridiculous and an insult to our collective intelligence. Having a social conscience doesn't make you immune to Covid. So let's own it, not sweep it under the rug.

I never would have imagined so many of us would have relatives who committed suicide. It's eye opening when you think about the prevalence.

On a happier note as I seem really mad thus far in my post (sorry!), more planting today. I bought a Boston Ivy to cover the only bit of ugly block fencing in my side yard that doesn't have it and 3 dwarf agapanthus to fill in an area under a wall fountain I have (that doesn't work and needs repair - one more thing for the list!). My dad said to pace my projects, but given the scope of organizing/purging projects I have indoors, I'm in no danger of running out of things to do.

Happy 4th, my friends (and happy regular Sunday to Shirl!)