05/29/2020 TGIF

My 10,000+ step goal has been met and exceeded ten of the last 14 days and zero calorie beverage consumption has increased and displaced some of the grazing. A series of frustrating challenges to my peace have multiplied and compounded from molehills to a mountain. Worrying and forgetting things has progressed to the point of worrying that I will forget something important I am worrying about. I have created a challenges I worry about list on my phone, where I list everything I have to address that worries me. I have set aside ten minutes every evening for active worrying, where I review the list and indicate whether or not the item is something I can control and prioritize / task analyze things I can control to identify an action plan for the following day. Any time a worry niggles me, I add it to the list if it is not there and reassure myself I wont forget anything and have daily time set aside to deal with the list. Work in progress. Does this make sense or do I sound like a raving nut ?

Weight 122.4, WW Bluepoints uncountable. DS got takeout from a high-end restaurant and treated SIL, his Birthmom, and me to dinner on our deck. Wine was involved as was cheesecake. But the meal was fish, so not so bad and I didn't eat a lot of anything, just a lot of things. Lobster tonight. If I skip the wine, I will be okay.

Diane, I don't know about your lists. I keep to do lists and shopping lists, but not worry lists. I tend to try and ostrich as much as possible from worries and if they don't return I figure they weren't worth worrying about. I think that possibly comes from being an adult child of an alcoholic - I have to control things as much as possible and worrying without taking action is very uncomfortable for me.

Speaking of uncomfortable, yes the killing in Minneapolis is incredibly disturbing and not only because it happened, but it happens a lot. DS made a point that no one who is white knows how truly scary it can be to be black in America just as no one who is heterosexual can understand what it is like to be a gay person in many parts of the country. A friend posted on FB that someone should have stopped what was going on, but how do you stop armed officers when they don't stop their own???

Today and tomorrow are going to be gloomy and rainy but I got the grass seed out in the worst patches and finished cleaning the outdoor shower, so my outdoor work is done for the moment. I am going with DS to get the lobsters today and maybe drive around other parts of Cape Cod. Perhaps we will get the flowers for the pots on the deck. If it is too rainy, I can plant them Sunday.

Have a safe and healthy day and don't worry too much.

I couldn't sleep last night. They would rather let the city burn than arrest those 4 officers. I want to hope that we will rebuild both literally and figuratively to something better, something more fair, more just. But Lord, this pain spilling out of the community...

Good for your son's compassionate understanding of the reality of other people's lives. He sounds like the kind of young adults I know that gives me hope that things will change.

Diane, I have heard of people making a worry list, so they can compartmentalize. Time will tell if this is a helpful strategy for you. For me, I might become hyper aware of worries and needing to record them... And this moment in time is ridiculously worry, anxiety provoking. It's no wonder we are all looking for ways to tame, cope with, the beast that is anxiety.

So, it's overcast here. I feel some satisfaction with the work completed yesterday in the yard. I've tried a few weigh****chers recipes the last few days, and enjoyed them. In particular, my daughter and I both really love the creamy tomato basil soup, and agree we would make it again, WW recipe or not. Liz, I also made your lemon blueberry pie and it was awesome.

The weekend is coming, I hope everyone finds some fun and some repose.

One of the things I have always liked about WW are their recipes. Over the years several of them have become favorites. I will look up the soup.

Greetings All

Another dull day but at least my shelter zone is a lovely one. Think how it would be to be stuck in a dinky inner city apartment with no balcony. Our little deck garden is beautiful which is astonishing since we have done so little work. The main thing is to put "Sluggo" out as the slugs eat everything to the ground otherwise. Lots of little sugar snap peas on the way and the sweet pea flowers have buds. No snow peas yet but they started from seed.

But I must venture out as I am out of skinny pop. Have stuff to pop my own but why?

DianeM I had a therapist years ago that suggested I set aside a small amount of time to "worry" since I was a major worry wart. Mostly job stuff. Anyway it didn't work so well for me as I just got more and more into it, but it is a known technique and it can be helpful. I usually had one case that was particularly bothering me and when it resolved there was always another one. So its just how some of us are. Even now when most people would think I don't have a care in the world, I find something.

Watched the rest of Grant last night. Right after the civil war there was apparently some equality progress but not for long as the klan came into existence. So sad we are still fighting those battles 170 years later. Can no one learn anything?

Well, time to tackle a major chore: cleaning out my purse! It gets heavier and heavier filled with junk and nothing to do but dump it all out on a towel.

In getting ready for the gallery reopen, one member who is a metal smith made a table top out of copper and wrote us a dissertation on how the covid virus does not survive on a copper surface. Ok, I believe it but .....footnotes?

One more night of Popeye pie and then I must forage for something new. First world problems.

Diane S

162.0

While I like the idea of a "challenges" list and dedicating a bit of time to consider action plans---the thought of enclosing those goals in worry and frustration would indeed shatter my peace and generate suffering while daily dredging up and picking at thoughts that distress and disturb me. I know it's just words, but calling something a "worry" list implies that there is nothing to do with the items on that list except, well, nervously and constantly - worry- about them. Rename that list! Make it a Get a Plan to Resolve these Issues list. Just a thought.

The unrest continues here, and with good reason. The county attorney who charged the first officer with 3rd degree murder held a press conference where he declared just how fast he did get these charges done. It's the fastest they've ever done it, it usually takes 9months to put together such a case against an officer. Gee, could this be part of the problem there is so much pain? Stores in the 7 county metro area are closing early, and our county has an 8pm curfew. Our daughter is looking up organizations that are helping the communities most impacted to see what else they need besides money. (Which we've donated). Sunday we will pick up some things and deliver them to the city. A small gesture, but we must start somewhere.