Tuesday, May 26, 2020

Weight 121.8, WW Bluepoints 6. Lots of zero point vegetables and fruits (Ann would be proud of me)!

I realized when rereading my posts that I was saying that I redid the treads on the stairs - most of the work was on the risers (I had the terminology wrong). The risers had to have holes filled, sanded and be painted. I did clean and polish the treads yesterday though so the stairs are completely done. And if you think that is being industrious, it really wasn't as the only day I spent more than an hour on them was sanding/taping/painting day. I really need to start going through things in the basement for donation or throw-away. That is DH's stuff and I am not looking forward to doing it.

Yesterday Justice and I took a great walk through some beautiful neighborhoods. Gorgeous waterfront homes - the architecture is beautiful on almost all of them. Today is warmer so maybe I can actually sit on a beach?

Two days until I am out of quarantine. The odds are very high that I am healthy. I thought this was interesting:

• The median incubation period from infection with SARS-CoV-2 to onset of symptoms is approximately 5 days.
• 97.5% of people infected with SARS-CoV-2 will exhibit symptoms by 11.5 days
• Monitoring people exposed to SARS-CoV-2 for 14 days for development of symptoms should be sufficient to identify 99% of cases or more.

The only real advantage for the first couple of weeks of being out of quarantine is being able to go to the food store. The refrigerator looks almost like normal vs. overstuffed. And I have only enough creamer and yogurt to last the remaining two days. All bananas are gone as they were getting overripe (hence the banana bread and WW banana a pancakes several days in a row). So it will definitely be time to go on Thursday! My list is getting long.

Stay safe and healthy!

My weight today was technically 157.4

But I'm going to round down and call it 157.

10 years ago today, my number on the scale was 277. I have maintained 120lbs. loss.

I didn't fully expect today to be as important to me as it is. I fully feel like my life changed 10 years ago today. This is an anniversary that is very important to me.

The best part about losing weight is that I get to be, for the most part, who I want to be. I'm not avoiding things because of weight. I feel like my outside matches my insides, or at least that people don't prejudge me negatively because of weight. I felt before like my weight walked into the room before I did. It was just this big elephant in the room over everything. Nowadays it's hard for me to remember some of the emotions I felt dealing with weight. I felt so helpless. I remember feeling like I couldn't wear shorts, that I would need to wear a "shrug" over sleeveless dressing to cover my arms. I didn't get to be who I wanted to be. I was always aware of the placement of my thigh fat in my seats. Which, at 277lbs., were getting might tight. I couldn't go shopping at normal stores. I didn't feel like I could relate to my friends in quite the same way because I was fat, they weren't. And of course no men really considered me romantically. I was just the fat, maybe funny, maybe smart, best friend. I longed to be able to cross my legs. To simply hold my legs together when I sat instead of them relaxing apart from the weight of my thighs. I wanted to be able to wear clothes without my legs chafing terribly. Or for my pants waistlines to stay up and not roll down under the weight of my belly. In short, I just didn't want weight to be an issue.

Weight has not NOT been an issue in the past 10 years, but it hasn't been the main issue. And I am so so so grateful for that. I remember wondering, on some level, if I needed to do this on my own. Because WLS was the "easy way out." And of course there must be something wrong with me for being overweight in the first place. Some blemish on my personality. Some lack of character or something. That's what society tells us, right? And I think that is where the misguided "advice" about losing weight the "right way" comes from. As if there's a gold star for losing weight without help. I tried for many years to lose weight the "right way" and I got nowhere. This line of thinking is one that I particularly hate. It's a blame the victim mentality. It's a way of assigning blame. "You're fat, you deserve it, you have to get yourself out of this mess ALONE." I often say that WLS is not the "easy way out" but the "ONLY WAY OUT." And for some of us I truly believe that. I 100000% believe that if I had not had WLS then, I'd be 300lbs. now. Maybe I would've lost some, gained some. I would've felt bad about myself for another failed diet attempt.

WLS doesn't work all the time but I truly believe it gave me the best odds of success. And as hard as it is to lose weight at a lower weight, at least I know it's possible. Trying to lose 100+lbs. when I was MO was such a mirage. It just didn't feel possible. My efforts felt futile.

On May 26, 2010, shortly after graduating college, I had the VSG.

I remember that at my 6 month check up, I was still in the 200s and the surgeon said my weiightloss was probably stalling out. Thank God it was not. By one year I was around 165/170. I continued to lose over the next few months and got down to my low of 151. 126lbs. lost.

Over the past 10 years, I have gone through many life changes. I started dating! I entered law school, took the bar exam, and began practicing as an attorney. I got married. And I've had 2 babies in just over the past 2 years.

Aside from pregnancy, my highest weight was 167 back in 2017. And that scared me. My husband and I began working out and calorie counting. And I did take appetite suppressants which helped immensely in the beginning. I got down to about 154.

I'm beginning to have confidence that I am here for the long haul. I wish I could say I would never have to worry about it again. Unfortunately that's not the case. But I do think that with the help of WLS and some vigilance, I will never have quite the same battle I had in the past.

BB, you are an advertisement for the benefit of WLS. Ten years out and after two children your weight is right where it should be. And you eat healthy and mostly without fear. What a great example for your girls!

I wish I had provided a better example for my kids as they all have eating issues similar to those that I battled. Hopefully they will eventually take control because it is too late for me to influence them much.

I applaud you and love seeing and hearing how your life is evolving. Thank you for letting us be a part of it!

I absolutely agree that WLS is the only treatment that works for me. I put considerable effort into losing weight before surgery, and some were very difficult, and yet I kept trying. Sometimes I lost weight, but I could never sustain my loss longer than 2 years. Now I've maintained a 100+loss for more than 7 years. I'm no better, smarter, worthier than before. For me, surgery was a necessity to push my disease, obesity, into remission.

I loved your whole post BB! So much thoughtful exploration of what this is all about. I'm thankful to be on this journey with you.

Congratulations on your 10 year surgiversary!!!!! I would like to respond to your comment, "WLS doesn't work all the time..."

I suppose that statement is true, especially lap band procedures, but I want to point out that WLS WORKED for ME! I lost all the weight I needed to lose. I was at a healthy weight. What did not work for me was maintenance, not because my surgery was defective, but because my thinking had not significantly evolved to understand the depth of my dysfunctional eating.

I think that's an interesting point.

Probably all weight loss programs can work. If we judge them just on the fact that you do lose weight. (Although previously I could never make it far enough through the weightloss stage to even judge maintenance.) We are definitely all, as a culture, programmed to think about weightloss when it's really the tip of the iceberg.

I still think I strongly advocate for WLS because you are able to "pass go" but you are right--eventually it just sorta becomes normal. I remember shortly after reaching my low weight gleefully wondering if I would never have to think about a calorie again. I wish to God something could make that happen for me.

I guess I'll revise my statement to be more like I think WLS gives you the best odds of success, but only an honest examination of our eating patterns and lifelong commitment to fine tuning them can result in maintenance. And even then, we can expect it to be a long road, with ups and downs.

Peps you are an inspiration to me and I think all of us too. I know you may feel as though you've been in a tough spot. But when I listen to what you say, all I can hear is that your muscles have been flexing and working out to solve these issues and you are really quite stronger than you give yourself credit for!

BB - I just wanted to say how amazing you are! Loved reading your post. My 3 yr anniversary is coming up next month and a lot of what you wrote really hit home for me.

You are truely beautiful inside and out :) Be very proud of what you have achieved and also mantained

Yesterday we did some major yard work. We have a low spot in our yard that collects water. We dug a trench and added drain tile to a system DH started last year. Water is now running down the drain tile, into our front yard, and finally reaching the gutter in the street. It was a mighty good work out.

Very few essential stores are requiring face masks. For example, only one of the big home improvement stores required face masks. We're shopping there. I really wish there was a grocery store that required masks, besides Costco. I buy what I can there, but do have to go to the standard grocery store too.

Today was our WW weigh in. I am down 1.8 pounds in a week. I'm happy enough, we had 2 outings where others planned the menus, so I think this is a good outcome. DH is down 6 pounds. Of course!! We will continue following our plans.

Yeah men seem to have some advantages on the speed of weight loss.

It's Taco Tuesday! When did that become a thing, btw? It has just come on my radar the past few months.

BB - loved your post today. I'm thinking you qualify for 'poster child' for WLS! You really have rocked it for the past decade!

Yesterday's eating was pretty spot on as far as my personal goals went. Rather than chips and salsa I freely ate fresh cherries. When it was time for lunch, I was even so impressed with my plate, I took a damn picture of my food. LOL! We came home and had a cook out with my BFF and Auntie Kathryn who have been in our personal circle since the beginning. I ate half a hamburger and that was it. I was still too full from my late lunch. The scale was very kind to me today - back down to 268.8. Makes me happy. Simple pleasures. Baby Steps.

It is hot today. It's 94 degrees in the shade.

I had a nice workout today and am now off to school for some clean up.