05/16/2020 Saturday

Wind and rain after it reached 80 degrees yesterday, and our tornado watch was cancelled early. Score !! I'm spending too much time on what ifs (Will my retirement system go broke ? Will civil unrest become significantly disruptive?) ... and not enough gratitude for what IS, which depletes potential positive energy. Today's focus, in addition to steps and water, will be living in the present. It looks like most of my clematis survived 4+ nights of hard frost. I'll continue to baby it a bit.

Liz, I didn't even notice the incorrect date ! Ann is on to something, the best we can do is weigh the pros/cons as unique situations present themselves and take the option that seems best at that time. Other individual's choices may differ and I can only control my choices. Truly letting go of things I can't control are key for me. Going to journal a list of what I have been perseverating on that are beyond my control and park it, THEN a list of things I can control in this moment.

Weight 122.6, WW Bluepoints 8. Back to eating on plan. I made my favorite on plan things and avoided the blueberry coffee cake made with tons of butter that DS baked yesterday.

Control is a big issue for me (I need to feel that I am in control of at least something). The two main things I can control right now are my weight and household clutter (seeing clutter makes me feel out of control). I just can't expend my energy on thinking about my retirement funds, DS future, or my own for that matter at this point because there are NO answers. Just a lot of suppositions. So I am consciously not thinking about anything where it is impossible to predict what will happen. That's how I think I have been a survivor: controlling what I can and doing my best to not think about what I can't control. ETA: I don't know if this is healthy for everyone but it works for me.

It is going to be warm and sunny today so hopefully Justice and I can get a long walk.

Have a safe and healthy day!

What a horrible night! First I couldn't fall asleep and then when I did, I had bad nightmares which woke me up then I just kept repeating the cycle of insomnia broken by nightmare filled bursts of sleep until I got up. Awful.

I feel like an overstuffed sausage and am at my highest weight post surgery. Today I focus on making good food choices and taking a walk. And some of the control Liz mentioned with tidying my house. I think last night was trying to tell me something.

Not getting enough sleep will probably make today a tough day.

I had a WW leader in the past who said that the first thing she would do when her eating/weight were out of control is clean up the clutter in her car and house. She felt that mentally that helped her to do the same with her eating. I have often thought there was some merit in that for me too.

I really like gathering information about what ifs and making a plan. I just read a great article in today's paper about doctors see glimmers of hope. One doctor said, we know things now that might have saved someone even four weeks ago. This strengthens my plan to try and postpone infection as much as possible. But then yes, weighing risks, for example, I'm pretty sure if my cousins wedding can go forward in August, I will be there.

No lizarding today, it's overcast with rain predicted. We do need a good soaking rain, so it's all good.

We actually have 3 things on our calendar! Next Thursday, going to a friend's house for a bonfire at their backyard fire pit. Next Saturday, meeting some friends for a picnic. June 6th, a drive in concert. And now that the governor said we can gather in small groups with social distancing, some of my daughter's friends who still live in the area are coming over for a bonfire. I asked my daughter about bathroom plans, and she said they all live close enough they can drive home, and then come back. :)

As one of my friends said, we haven't stopped living, we're just living differently for awhile.

Weight: 157.4

Down 0.2 but I defended a weight loss so that's good.

Yesterday we spent most of the day away, taking care of Rich's sister's estate, court filings, etc. It was fun to feel so "put together" in every sense of the word! I've been pretty hard-core with my eating. Still mostly this week, although cir****tances and weather didn't allow me to walk as much (plus Rich's plantar's faciitis has flared up so no walking buddy). Last night of course it's Friday and I really would've liked to order in or something but instead I had a trader joe's chicken burger on an english muffin with some greens dressed in green goddess light dressing.

But today is a "relaxed" day of eating. I'm not saying cheat. I don't like that. There's nothing wrong with going out for Mexican food occasionally. But I'm still trying not to intentionally "over eat" which is what I feel like the notion of a "cheat" makes me want to do.

Diane O.-wow, 'naders where you are?!

Liz-I definitely agree about cleaning/organizing things to feel more in control. That is very hard to come by in my life right now. But as hard as it is to make a dent in something and as much as my need for perfection tries to keep me from even beginning, I always feel better after I endeavor to begin!

DD-Isn't it nice to have something to look forward to? I think that's half the fun.

A few days ago my sister helped me plant pots around the pool and today Rich and I bought flowers for the back beds. It's a process! And I'm exhausted. But tonight we are going out to eat dinner, sans kids, for the first time in 2 months! We are also hoping to make it by the home store to buy new patio cushions.

Greetings Healthy people

I sure hope everyone is healthy still. Wouldn't it be a ***** to come through all this covid stuff only to get some stupid disease like gout?

I am suddenly craving chocolate. Had to make do with three andes mints. Even a little sugar makes me feel sick as this just did. Will I never learn?

Steady rain here which makes for a dismal day. We have not even had the TV on. I just wrote up an addition to our studio membership agreement relating to covid compliance. Its main purpose is to show the health department we are doing whatever we can. Its fairly draconian - like I promise to use a kleenex if I sneeze. But this is the junk that is in the county guidelines. I have realized the county doesn't care too much as long as we have it all correct on paper. Fortunately, the nature of the building is such that we can follow the rules.

It seems like its possible to be safe and healthy now that the new rules have become habit. Masks are almost universally used around here and its becoming second nature.

Ann I think its totally cool that you make the couple of visits you are planning. My studio mate and I will be meeting up at our studio. We have our own room that is probably 6'by 12'. Should work.

But there are 4 new cases yesterday - related to the nursing home. Sure wish they would tell more about how it got there.

Tornados Diane M. Stay safe. Enjoy the weather variety.

No call from the cardiologist office. Guess they don't think anything is too serious.

Our little deck garden is expanding . We are going to have enough snow peas for an army. Snow peas all around! They are flowering.

Little Tesla is a case. She really needs exercise but its raining so she does not want to stay out long. Then she comes in and tortures Chip who is old and can't see or hear well.

Yep, I could make the Olympic drivel team. So it goes. Diane S

I love reading your drivel !